Justifications: Their "legitimate reasons" and excuses for what
they do.
---------------------------------------------
CONTRASTING DIALOGUE.
The simplest form of the technique is this:
Dialogue gives one message, Action/environment gives another.
The strategy is simple:
A. Put two things together that contrast each other.
B. Simply oppose dialogue and actions in some way.
---------------------------------------------
DIALOGUE STRUCTURES
1. Circular dialogue.
One or more characters begin a subject, are interrupted, and then circle back to their original subject.
2. Metaphoric dialogue.
There are two varieties of metaphoric dialogue:
A. When someone speaks through metaphors.
B. When two characters are doing and talking about
something that actually represents something more
important to them.
3. Two different conversations at the same time.
Person A talks about one thing. Person B talks about another. You'd think they're in two different rooms.
---------------------------------------------
ANTICIPATORY DIALOGUE FORMATS
1. Direct prediction.
2. Indirect prediction.
3. Countdown.
4. Imply consequences.
5. Imply hopelessness.
6. Shield from consequences in advance.
7. Warnings.
8. Create reputation for the villain.
9. Confront someone hiding from a future consequence.
10. A challenge issued.
11. Silence at a strange time.
---------------------------------------------
DIALOGUE SUBTEXT -- COVER UPS
Dialogue Subtext comes in two types:
1. The cover up
2. Subtext pointers
METHODS OF COVER-UP:
- Silence: Person doesn't answer when they should.
- Action incongruent with words.
- Change subject.
- Question them.
- Attack back.
- Complement them.
- Threaten them
- Confirm something they already believe whether it's
true or not.
- Misdirection: Do or say something that sends their
mind in a
different direction.
- Inappropriate reaction to an emotional event.
- Distraction.
- Make a joke of it.
- Continue the conversation as if nothing happened.
---------------------------------------------
DIALOGUE SUBTEXT -- SUBTEXT POINTERS
Metaphor
- The application of a word or phrase to an object
or concept which it does not literally denote.
Essentially "A is B."
Implication - Something indicated or suggested as naturally to
be inferred. You are implying a conclusion.
Insinuation - An indirect or covert suggestion or hint. This
usually comes as an indirect accusation.
Hint - A clue, a slight covert suggestion. You are
clueing the reader or character in to a small part
without giving them the entire puzzle.
Sarcasm
- A sneering or cutting remark toward an object
of ridicule.
Allusion
- To reference casually or indirectly.
††††††††††ଋ
††††††††††ଠଋ
††††††††††ଋଭ
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FORMATS FOR COLORFUL DIALOGUE
- Take to extreme
- Poetic
- Unique Naming
- Jargon
- Write emotionally
- Contradictory statements
- Strange conclusions
---------------------------------------------
Copyright 2003, Hal Croasmun, all rights reserved.
HYPERLINK "http://www.ScriptForSale.com" \t "_blank"
http://www.ScriptForSale.com
Assignments
Dialogue scene from American Beauty
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE - DINING ROOM - LATER THAT NIGHT
We HEAR EASY-LISTENING MUSIC.
Lester, Carolyn and Jane are eating dinner by CANDLELIGHT. RED ROSES are bunched in a vase at the center of the table. Nobody makes eye contact, or even seems aware of anybody else's presence, until...
Mom, do we always have to listen to
this elevator music?
CAROLYN
(considers)
No. No, we don't. As soon as you've
prepared a nutritious yet savory
meal that I'm about to eat, you can
listen to whatever you like.
Subtext: I'm the one who provides for the family. If you can achieve half of this, I'll let you do what you want.
A long beat. Lester suddenly turns to Jane.
LESTER
So Janie, how was school?
(suspicious)
It was okay.
LESTER
Just okay?
No, Dad. It was spec-tac-ular.
Subtext: Since you dislike my answer, I'll give you a better one.
Satisfied?
A beat.
LESTER
Well, you want to know how things went at my job today?
Now she looks at him as if he's lost his mind.
LESTER (cont'd)
They've hired this efficiency
expert, this really friendly guy
named Brad, how perfect is that?
And he's basically there to make it
seem like they're justified in
firing somebody, because they
couldn't just come right out and
say that, could they? No, no, that
would be too... honest. And so they've
asked us--
(off her look)
--you couldn't possibly care any
less, could you?
Subtext: Why are you looking at me like this?
Carolyn is watching this closely.
(uncomfortable)
Well, what do you expect? You can't
all of a sudden be my best friend,
just because you had a bad day.
Subtext: What are you taking me for?
She gets up and heads toward the kitchen.
JANE (cont'd)
I mean, hello. You've barely even
spoken to me for months.
She's gone. Lester notices Carolyn looking at him critically.
LESTER
Oh, what, you're mother-of-the-
year? You treat her like an employee.
Subtext: Why can't you love her like a mother instead of expecting something
from her?
CAROLYN
(taken aback)
What?!
Subtext: Say that again.
Lester is quiet, staring at his plate.
CAROLYN (cont'd)
(more authority)
Subtext: Say that again, if you dare.
Lester gets up and starts after Jane, taking his plate with him.
LESTER
I'm going to get some ice cream.
Subtext: I'd better leave before anything happens.
Carolyn watches him go, irritated.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
Jane stands at the sink, rinsing off her plate. Lester enters.
LESTER
Honey, I'm sorry. I...
Jane turns and stares at him, waiting for him to finish.
LESTER (cont'd)
I'm sorry I haven't been more
available, I just... I'm...
Subtext: I didn't mean to be cold to you all this while. I'm sorry.
He's looking to her for a little help here, but she's too uncomfortable with
this sudden intimacy to give him any.
LESTER (cont'd)
(finally)
You know, you don't always have to
wait for me to come to you...
Subtext: I'm always here for you if you need me.
Oh, great. So now it's my fault?
LESTER
I didn't say that. It's nobody's
fault. Janie, what happened? You
and I used to be pals.
Subtext: Why are you treating me this way?
Dialogue Scene from The Family Man
INT. ELEVATOR - MORNING
Jack, wearing an elegant camel's hair overcoat and carrying a leather briefcase, a "Master of the Universe" smile on his
face, now HUMMING the Bach piece from memory...
The doors open at 6. Jack self-consciously stops singing as ELIZABETH PETERSON, 60s, wearing a mink coat, gets on the elevator carrying a yappy little dog.
JACK
(a charming smile)
Mrs. Peterson.
MRS. PETERSON
Hello Jack. You don't have to stop
singing on my account...
JACK
It's because I'm shy, Betty. So,
when are you going to leave that old
corpse Mr. Peterson and run away
with me?
MRS. PETERSON
You know you could never satisfy me
the way he does...
COMMENTS: This friendly attack/counterattack establishes their relationship and also his character. He is charming and personable and it directs the audience to like him. The exchange is also entertaining)
The doors open to the lobby. Mrs. Peterson walks out ahead.
INT. JACK'S BUILDING, LOBBY - MORNING
TONY THE DOORMAN holds the door open for Jack and Mrs.
Peterson...
TONY THE DOORMAN
Merry Christmas, Mr. Campbell.
JACK
How'd you do this year, Tony?
TONY THE DOORMAN
About four grand. And a bottle of
twenty five year old scotch from
Mrs. Johnson in 9D. I'm putting it
all in commercial paper like you
said.
JACK
Just until the Deutsche Mark turns...
(COMMENTS: Here, we see him being friendly to the doorman. By giving Tony investment tips, he is not just friendly but genuinely interested in the man's financial future. The exchanges with Mrs. Peterson and Tony are also set-ups. Later, Jack the High-Powered Executive wakes up as Jack the Smalltown Family Man and neither Mrs. Peterson and Tony remembers who he is.)
Jack exits the building...
EXT. CENTRAL PARK - MORNING
Jack's Ferrari racing through the park...
EXT. LASSITER BUILDING - MORNING
A modern Wall Street building. The sign above the glass doors reads, "P.K. Lassiter and Associates, Investment House."
The Ferrari SCREECHES to a halt. Jack gets out, heads into the building...
INT. LASSITER BUILDING - CONTINUOUS
...Jack throws his keys to a nearby SECURITY GUARD with a smile on his way to the elevators...
CHAPTER THREE - JACK THE BUSINESSMAN
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. LASSITER BUILDING, CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY
The Manhattan skyline shines through the windows of this beautiful conference room.
SIX EXECUTIVES are seated at a huge oak table littered with coffee cups and lunch waste. At the end of the table, ALAN MINTZ, 30s, balding, sits with a faraway look in his eyes, three empty Diet Coke cans in front of him.
Mintz is poking at a shiny gold cherub dangling from a small, plastic Christmas tree, sitting in the middle of the table.
Jack is addressing the group from the front of the room, standing in front of a computer with a huge flat screen monitor, covered with stock charts and tables...
JACK
...if MedTech's shares sink any lower
than...
(casually executing a
keystroke)
...forty three, we're in trouble
with the stock valuation. So for
god's sake watch what you say to
your institutional customers...
(COMMENTS: In the conference room, we see a different Jack - a smart, driven investment banker...
Jack notices Alan Mintz playing with the cherub.
JACK (CONT'D)
...we still have almost a full day
of trading before zero hour and I
don't want any trouble...
(distracted by Mintz)
...penny for your thoughts, Alan...
(...who is a demanding boss)
Alan looks up.
ALAN
Sorry, Jack. I told Dee and the kids
I'd be home by dinner. You know, it
being Christmas Eve and all.
JACK
Is that tonight?
(Jack's response indicates his work takes priority over Christmas and he expects his staff to feel the same. This is a major set-up for the transformation of his character arc).
A LAUGH from the group. Jack approaches Alan.
JACK (CONT'D)
You think I like being here on
Christmas Eve, Alan?
ALAN
I don't know. Maybe...
Another LAUGH. Even Jack lets out a good-natured chuckle.
(Jack's teasing words diffuse the tension. The laughter from the group shows camaraderie rather than animosity. Here is a boss who is respected even if he is inconsiderate.)
JACK
Okay, maybe I do have a touch of
tunnel vision this holiday season.
But in two days we're going to
announce one of the largest mergers
in U.S. corporate history. Thirty
billion dollars...
(basking in the glory)
When this kind of deal turns up you
get on and you ride it 'till it's
over. You don't ask it for a
vacation...
(And he is not asking them to work for no good reason. Here we learn the stakes...)
A chuckle from the group...the esprit de corps seems to
energize Jack.
JACK (CONT'D)
(to the group)
December 26th. After that there'll
be so much money floating around
here it'll be like Christmas every
day...
(smiling)
December 26th, people. If you'd like
to celebrate that day, you all have
my blessing...
(...the promise...)
Enthusiastic nods and words of agreement from the suits around the table...
ALAN
You're right, Jack. Sorry...
Jack approaches Alan.
JACK
I don't want you to be sorry, Alan,
I want you to be excited. I want my
gift to be the first one you open
this year. You know why?
ALAN
Why Jack?
JACK
Because my gift comes with ten zeroes
at the end...
(...and the rewards.)
A MURMUR of excitement in the room, even Alan cracks a smile. Jack puts a hand on Alan's shoulder.
JACK (CONT'D)
Good man...
(Alan's tempered resentment draws out the rationale from Jack. At the beginning, Jack comes across as a task-master but by the end, we understand where he's coming from and even condones it somewhat because of the reward promised. His final remark shows his appreciation.)
Chasing Amy, Kevin Smith
INT STUDIO - NIGHT
Holden enters. Banky’s still playing Sega. Holden sits
next to him.
HOLDEN
(off screen)
How bad do you suck!
BANKY
How was your pseudo-date?
HOLDEN
Leave it alone.
Builds tension, looming conflict
BANKY
That chick bugs me.
HOLDEN
(rubs his head; in baby-talk)
Aww. Everyone bugs you.
BANKY
Get off.
(off game)
Fucking faggot! Did you see that?!
Your dyke courting ass just got me
scored on!
HOLDEN
(beat)
You know, you should watch that. If
you’re going to get all bent out of
shape while playing the game, so much
so that you need to curse the t.v.,
try not to gay-bash it, alright.
You’re nor that kind of guy.
(gets up)
And don’t call her a dyke, alright?
She’s a lesbian.
Says were friends, but I your small minded, you haven't seen the big picture.
Holden goes to his drawing table and takes off his coat.
Banky sits there, shocked. He puts the controller down
and crosses to the drawing table.
BANKY
What the fuck is going on here?
HOLDEN
(pulling out pencil)
I’m starting a new page.
BANKY
(smacking pencil away)
Not with this shit! With you. What
the fuck is going on with you and that
girl?
Intro to conflict, were we see point and counter point of each character
HOLDEN
We’re friends.
BANKY
She’s programming you.
HOLDEN
I beg your pardon? Programming?
BANKY
Yeah.
And apparently, you don’t even
realize it. What does it matter if I
refer to her as a dyke, or if I call
the Whalers a bunch of faggots in the
privacy of my own office, far from the
sensitive ears of the rest of the
world?
HOLDEN
It’s passive/aggressive gay-bashing;
and I know you’re not really
prejudiced at heart. You should just
find some other way to express your
anger, is all I’m saying.
Holden starts drawing. Banky stares at him. Then he
grabs the pencil out of Holden’s hand and shoves him to
the side. He starts drawing something.
Banky makes the statement of the MOVIE, People don't change!
HOLDEN
What the fuck are you doing!
BANKY
Bear with me here. I just want to put
you through this little exercise.
(drawing feverishly)
Okay, now see this? This is a four
way road, okay?
Banky draws a four-way stop. He illustrates according to
his voice-over.
BANKY V.O.
And dead in the center, is a crisp,
new, hundred dollar bill. Now at the
end of each of the streets, are four
people, okay? You following? Up
here, we got a male-affectionate, easy-
to-get-along-with, no political agenda
lesbian. Okay? Now down here, we
have a man-hating, angry-as-fuck,
agenda-of-rage, bitter dyke. To this
side, we got Santa Claus, right? And
over to this side - the Easter Bunny.
Banky finishes drawing. Holden’s shaking his head
BANKY
Which one’s going to get to the
hundred dollar bill first?
HOLDEN
What is this supposed to prove?
BANKY
I’m serious. This is a serious
exercise. It’s like an S.A.T.
question. Which one’s going to get to
the hundred dollar bill first - the
male-friendly lesbian, the man-hating
dyke, Santa Claus, or the Easter
Bunny?
HOLDEN
(beat; then pissed)
The man-hating dyke.
BANKY
Good.
Why?
HOLDEN
I don
t know.
BANKY
(wildly crossing out the
other three)
BECAUSE THESE OTHER THREE ARE FIGMENTS
OF YOUR FUCKING IMAGINATION!
Holden storms away. Banky follows.
That is checkmate!
Here's a scene I like from the classic film, SUNSET BOULEVARD
Setup: Gillis a B-movie script writer who dreams of Hollywood success desperately needs quick money to keep his new convertible away from the repo men.
A-11
SHELDRAKE'S OFFICE
It is in the style of a Paramount executive's office --
mahogany, leather, and a little chintz. On the
walls are some large framed photographs of Paramount
stars, with dedications to Mr. Sheldrake. Also a
couple of framed critics' awards certificates, and an
Oscar on a bookshelf. A shooting schedule chart is
thumb-tacked into a large bulletin board. There are
piles or scripts, a few pipes and, somewhere in the
background, some set models.
Start on Sheldrake. He is about 45. Behind his wor-
ried face there hides a coated tongue. He is en-
gaged in changing the stained filter cigarette in
his Zeus holder.
Good character intro.
SHELDRAKE
All right, Gillis. You've got
five minutes. What's your story
about?
GILLIS
It's about a ball player, a rookie
shortstop that's batting 347. The
poor kid was once mixed up in a hold-
up. But he's trying to go straight --
except there's a bunch of gamblers
who won't let him.
SHELDRAKE
So they tell the kid to throw the
World Series, or else, huh?
GILLIS
More or less. Only for the end
I've got a gimmick that's real good.
This shows Gillis as someone who knows the ropes and can pitch an exec. Sheldrake by anticipating the story shows he's been around the block too. All pretty much the expected.
A secretary enters, carrying a glass or milk.
She opens a drawer and takes out a bottle of pills for
Sheldrake.
Sheldrake is under pressure.
SHELDRAKE
Got a title?
GILLIS
Bases Loaded. There's a 4O-page
outline.
SHELDRAKE
(To the secretary)
Get the Readers' Department and
see what they have on Bases Loaded.
Sheldrake isn't fooling around. He's calling Gillis bluff. Bringing in a third party.
The secretary exits. Sheldrake takes a pill and
washes it down with some milk.
GILLIS
They're pretty hot about it
over at Twentieth, but I
think Zanuck's all wet. Can
you see Ty Power as a
GILLIS (cont'd)
shortstop? You've got the best
man for it right here on this lot.
Alan Ladd. Good change of pace for
Alan Ladd. There's another thing:
it's pretty simple to shoot. Lot
of outdoor stuff. Bet you could
make the whole thing for under a
million. And there's a great little
part for Bill Demarest. One of the
trainers, an oldtime player who
got beaned and goes out of his head
sometimes.
Gillis tries a bluff, maybe in desperation to what the story department reader might say. The details of his story are worked out otherwise the dialogue would seem phony. Not the actors: Ty Power, Alan Ladd, even William Demarest who Gillis calls Bill.
The door opens and Betty Schaefer enters -- a clean-
cut, nice looking girl of 21, with a bright, alert
manner. Dressed in tweed skirt, Brooks sweater and
pearls, and carrying a folder of papers. She puts
them on Sheldrake's desk, not noticing Gillis, who
stands near the door.
Note noticing Gillis. This is good misdirection as we'll see.
BETTY
Hello, Mr. Sheldrake. On that Bases
Loaded. I covered it with a 2-page
synopsis.
(She holds it out)
But I wouldn't bother.
Here's the twist. A good looking young female as the reader and she says, not knowing the writer is in the room, But I wouldn't bother. Priceless!
SHELDRAKE
What's wrong with it?
BETTY
It's from hunger.
Again, priceless. She doesn't mince words.
SHELDRAKE
Nothing for Ladd?
BETTY
Just a rehash of something that
wasn't very good to begin with.
SHELDRAKE
I'm sure you'll be glad to meet
Mr. Gillis. He wrote it.
Betty turns towards Gillis, embarrassed.
Sheldrake has set her up. That and not seeing Gillis. But Sheldrake knows his office layout.
SHELDRAKE
This is Miss Kramer.
BETTY
Schaefer. Betty Schaefer. And
right now I wish I could crawl
into a hole and pull it in after
me.
He got her name wrong. A good touch. A reversal. Seeing Gillis, she wishes she hadn't been so blunt.
GILLIS
If I could be of any help...
BETTY
I'm sorry, Mr. Gillis, but I
just don't think it's any good.
I found it flat and banal.
GILLIS
Exactly what kind of material do
you recommend? James Joyce?
Dostoosvsky?
Note the back and forth. Idealist versus practicality. Joyce and the mispronounced Russian writer. (In the film I think he pronounces it correctly.)
SHELDRAKE
Name dropper.
Sheldrake is trying to diffuse any arguments.
BETTY
I just think pictures should say
a little something.
GILLIS
Oh, you're one of the message
kids.
Just a story won't do.
You'd have turned down Gone With the
Wind.
SHELDRAKE
No, that was me. I said, Who
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