The advanced dialogue class begins later today! And I promise you
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who can forget Frank Robinson or Milt Pappas, for Godsakes! (beat) It's a long season and you got to trust it. ANNIE STARTS FOR THE DOOR and grabs her baseball glove. NOTE: In this last portion of dialogue, we have the Mentor and the Cosmic trait expressed through a baseball metaphor. Can you see why the writer/director choose this voice-over to begin this movie? By page three, we are willing to follow this character anywhere as she takes us through this story. Once you start thinking about your characters this way, you'll see this is an easy thing to do. You can start at any point you already know. Maybe you have a character who has justified dropping out of college by saying that he didn't have time to do it and business at the same time. Just by knowing one piece of the puzzle, you can fill out the others. Here's what five minutes work did for this one justification: World View: Money is all that matters. Metaphor: The next Bill Gates Rules and Strategies: Beat them before they beat you. Seize every opportunity. Innovate or die. Justifications: "Just made sense to quit college." "Okay to take parents money because they want him to succeed." "Don't have to listen to others because they don't know shit." Now, it is your turn. ASSIGNMENT --------------------- Write a scene where a character displays their World View. 1. List the World View, a Life Metaphor, one or more Rules and Strategies and one or more Justifications like I did above. 2. Write a scene where that character OVERTLY displays their World View and each of its components. 3. Answer the question "What I learned doing this assignment is...?" Deadline: 48 hours. ---------------------------- You can use a monologue like above or have one character introduce their world to another. Or you can create a more complex scene. Whatever you do is fine. Just present one character with a full World View. Don't worry about whether the scene fits your movie right now or not, just do it to get a new view of your character and how they speak. What this will do is provide a new level of depth to your characters and their dialogue. One last thing: If you have any worries about whether you can do this, just take the first steps. Because you'll find that this is easier than it looks. Pick a character and find one of those four things that stands out -- either a justification, rule, strategy, life metaphor or World View. Whichever comes up first, work with it to develop the others. Once you start, you'll see. It will flow for you.
An important reminder: Give yourself permission to turn in poor work. I can't emphasize how important this is. That is why I covered it in the Pre-training email. Remember, we're doing "first-draft" work here. So don't think you have to turn in brilliant stuff. I want you to have the freedom to learn without worrying about criticism. This is especially important now that we're writing scenes using the skills. It is 10 times better to write a poor scene with poor dialogue using these techniques than it is to stress yourself out thinking you need to be the best and not complete the assignment. Know what I mean? I've seen too many people slow to a crawl because they're trying to turn A+ work, when the ones who have freed their own internal criticism are writing, learning and growing every day as they complete all of their assignments on time. Just remind yourself that we're in a learning process where you benefit most by completing the assignments and giving it your best try. And WHATEVER YOU DO IS FINE. Day 4: Contrasting Dialogue
It is called CONTRASTING DIALOGUE. The simplest form of the technique is this: Dialogue gives one message, Action/environment gives another. Often, this is used for comedy, but it can also illuminate character, as well as provide some profound messages. Here's a famous scene from the movie NETWORK where contrast is what made it famous. This is 2/3rds the way through the movie. Diane is an early 30's up-and-coming news producer who is having an affair with Max, who is just retiring from the business and is in his 60's. He's obsessed with her and she's obsessed with...well, you'll see. From NETWORK EXT. MOTOR COURT - NIGHT DIANA and MAX getting out of their car and heading for one of the ground-level rooms, MAX unlocking the door -- (chirping merrily along) -- Walter thinks we can knock out the misprision of felony charge -- They go into INT. MOTOR COURT - THEIR ROOM MAX flicks the light on, kicks the door shut, and they are instantly into each other's arms in a passionate embrace. -- but he says absolutely nix on going to series. They'll hit us with inducement and conspiracy to commit a crime -- She busily removes her shoes and unbuttons her blouse and whisks out of her slacks; and, down to her bikini panties, she is now scouring the walls for a thermostat. Christ, it's cold in here -- (she turns up the You see we're paying these nuts from the Ecumenical Liberation Army ten thousand bucks a week to bring in authentic film footage on their revolutionary activities, and that constitutes inducement to commit a crime; and Walter says we'll all wind up in federal prison -- Nubile and nearly naked, she entwines herself around MAX, who, by now, has stripped down to his trousers; and the two hungering bodies slide down onto the bed where they commence an affable moment of amative foreplay -- (efficiently unbuckling and unzippering MAX's trousers) -- I said: "Walter, let the government sue us! We'll take them to the Supreme Court! We'll be front page for months! The Washington Post and the New York Times will be doing two editorials a week about us! We'll have more press than Watergate!" Groping, grasping, gasping and fondling, they contrive to denude each other, and, in a fever of sexual hunger, DIANA mounts MAX, and the SCREEN is filled with the voluptuous writhings of love, DIANA crying out with increasing exultancy -- (in the throes of passion) -- All I need -- is six weeks of federal litigation -- and the Mao Tse Tung Hour -- can start carrying its own time slot! She screams in consummation, sighs a long, deliciously shuddering sigh, and sinks softly down into MAX's embrace. For a moment, she rests her head on MAX's chest, eyes closed in feline contentment. (after a moment, she purrs) What's really bugging me now is my daytime programming. NBC's got a lock on daytime with their lousy game shows, and I'd like to bust them. I'm thinking of doing a homosexual soap opera -- The Dykes the heart-rending saga of a woman helplessly in love with her husband's mistress. What do you think? What do you think? They could have done a business lunch where all they talked about was business and then done a love scene where all they talked about is love/sex and it would have bored us to tears. But contrast the two and we've got an extremely compelling scene that tells us so much about the characters and their relationship. So many times, people think dialogue has to "say" something to be powerful. Many times, the power comes from a message that is delivered that is completely different than the dialogue. Let me ask you a question. When does talking about Big Macs make a scene interesting? Read this scene from PULP FICTION and you'll see how this "irrelevant" conversation sets a tone for who these two characters are and how routine killing is for them. INT. '74 CHEVY (MOVING) - MORNING An old gas guzzling, dirty, white 1974 Chevy Nova BARRELS down a homeless-ridden street in Hollywood. In the front seat are two young fellas -- one white, one black -- both wearing cheap black suits with thin black ties under long green dusters. Their names are VINCENT VEGA (white) and JULES WINNFIELD (black). Jules is behind the wheel. NOTE: I cut out some of their conversation about Vincent going to Europe just to get to the exciting Big Mac part quicker. VINCENT
But you know what the funniest thing about Europe is? VINCENT It's the little differences. A lotta the same shit we got here, they got there, but there they're a little different. Examples? VINCENT Well, in Amsterdam, you can buy beer in a movie theatre. And I don't mean in a paper cup either. They give you a glass of beer, like in a bar. In Paris, you can buy beer at MacDonald's. Also, you know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris? They don't call it a Quarter Pounder with Cheese? VINCENT
No, they got the metric system there, they wouldn't know what the fuck a Quarter Pounder is. What'd they call it? VINCENT Royale with Cheese. (repeating) Royale with Cheese. What'd they call a Big Mac? VINCENT
Big Mac's a Big Mac, but they call it Le Big Mac. What do they call a Whopper? VINCENT
I dunno, I didn't go into a Burger King. But you know what they put on french fries in Holland instead of ketchup? VINCENT Mayonnaise. Goddamn! VINCENT
I seen 'em do it. And I don't mean a little bit on the side of the plate, they fuckin' drown 'em in Uuccch!
NOTE: If that was all this scene was about, we'd be so disappointed with it, but now, the contrast shows up in the next scene and a whole new understanding of these characters and their part in this story emerges. BTW, did you notice how engaged they were in their Big Mac conversation? INT. CHEVY (TRUNK) - MORNING The trunk of the Chevy OPENS UP, Jules and Vincent reach inside, taking out two .45 Automatics, loading and cocking We should have shotguns for this kind of deal. VINCENT How many up there? Three or four. VINCENT
Counting our guy? I'm not sure. VINCENT So there could be five guys up there? It's possible. VINCENT We should have fuckin' shotguns. They CLOSE the trunk. NOTE: Now is is clear that Vincent and Jules were on their way to a hired-murder the whole time. Without ever saying it, the Big Mac conversation showed just how routine it was for them to kill people. Theywere so relaxed that they could get completely grossed out by mayonnaise onFrench fries. That says a lot about the characters. But it goes much farther than that. In the scene sequence I'm sending with this email, you'll see that they have a complete conversation with the men they're going to kill. About what? Big Macs, mayonnaise, and Bible verses. HOW'S IT WORK? In the first scene from NETWORK, the characters are both engaged in what they're obsessed about and they've just MIXED them. It was fresh because no one had ever seen that combination before. In the second scene from PULP FICTION, the writer simply looked for some interesting trivia that they could engage in to show their state of mind -- on a routine hit. Both of those are high-quality examples, but the strategy is simple: A. Put two things together that contrast each other. B. Simply oppose words and actions in some way. The show COLOMBO based its main plot device on this -- have the bad guy help to solve the crime. I turned to Cheryl and asked her thoughts on this. She said: "The Mother changes a really stinky diaper while her husband talks with her about going out for some great tasting barbecue. Does that sound like Contrasting Dialogue?" I guess we won't be going out for BBQ tonight. But her example fits quite ASSIGNMENT -------------------- Let's put this into action. 1. Write a scene where there is a contrast between the dialogue and the action/environment in some way. 2. Answer the question "What I learned doing this assignment is...?" Deadline: 48 hours ----------------------------- Usually, the easiest way to do this is to pick an extreme action or extreme environment and then brainstorm dialogue that could be in contrast with that action/environment. Why extreme? Because that is easier to contrast. Usually, if you can get the action, it is easy to come up with the contrasting dialogue. Example: What would contrast "changing stinky diaper?" But you can do anything you'd like as long as there is a clear contrast between the dialogue and action/environment. Let your imaginations fly on this one. Day 5: Dialogue Structures Today, we'll work with three structures for dialogue that will give your scenes more realism. These structures you'll see every day if you listen closely to people's dialogue. And they are easy ways to improve the feel of your dialogue without having to change it much. They are: 1. Circular dialogue. 2. Metaphoric dialogue. 3. Two different conversations at the same time. At first look, these seem superficial, but they can make profound changes to the experience of the reader/audience. So look closely. 1. CIRCULAR DIALOGUE This is one of the easiest of all dialogue techniques. Essentially, one or more characters begin a subject, are interrupted, and circles back to their original subject. This simple scene shows the structure: INT. KITCHEN -- DAY Mike tries to sneak past the breakfast table and out the door. Sarah walks in just in time. Oh, good, you're still here. Yeah, just leaving. If you don't have any emergencies, can you help me clean up a bit? Hey, I was going to ask you, what do you think about the extra charge that the Homeowner's association has applied to our payments? Sarah starts running the water on the dishes. I don't like it one bit. Thirty-three percent increase over the last year. Where's all that money going? New administrator, I think. Well I, for one, am going to speak up at the next meeting. Sarah hands him a dishtowel. If you'll dry, I'll wash. (looks toward the Alright.
Sarah started by making a request of Mike. Mike distracted, then Sarah returned to her original request. Ever had that happen to you? When two people have different things that are important to them, their conversations will often include circular dialogue. 2. METAPHORIC DIALOGUE There are two varieties of metaphoric dialogue: A. When someone speaks through metaphors. Like a business person who consistently talks through sports metaphors. "The client was walking us out. It was the ninth inning and just before we left, Jack hit a home run." Other metaphors: Nature, war, business, religion, movies, etc. This, again, is an expression of "Life Metaphors" and I include it to emphasize that a Life Metaphor needs to be a metaphor, not just a saying or belief. B. When two characters are doing and talking about something that actually represents something more important to them. This happens in a lot of love scenes where the stroking of a horse or the tending of flowers is played out as foreplay to making love. In the scene below (from the book "Writing Dialogue for Scripts" by Rib Davis), you'll see two characters talking. Alice gives an opinion and instead of attacking Alice's POV, Cath attacks Alice's breadmaking. INT. ALICE'S KITCHEN -- DAY Alice is kneading the dough to make bread. Cath watches. I'm just going to have to leave. Find another job. Well he's mad-- Pass the flour, could you? She does as she talks. --completely obsessed with punctuality. It's driving me round the bend. Have you told him? I mean, if I'm just a minute late-- (overlapping) But have you told him that he's being-- (overlapping) I think he's trying to establish his authority or something. No, of course I haven't told him -- He's my boss. I'd tell Barbara. Yeah, well he's not Barbara, is he? Why do you bother to make bread, Alice? It's just as good from the supermarket. Thanks very much. And it's probably cheaper. It's certainly less messy. Alice kneads the bread in silence. After a moment-- I mean Brian was always so kind - flowers and whatever. Maybe this new fella'll calm down. Or maybe he won't. Even time off in lieu - he makes me fell as if I'm not really entitled to it. Alice stops kneading for a moment. Well you do... A look from Cath, but Alice carries on speaking and resumes kneading. You did use to take quite a lot of time-- No more than I was entitled to! You're meant to be able to take time off - it's in lieu - you know? Yeah, yeah. Lengthy pause. So...will that really rise? Should do, yeah. 3. TWO DIFFERENT CONVERSATIONS AT THE SAME TIME Person A talks about one thing. Person B talks about another. You'd think they're in two different rooms. They're not communicating, that's for sure. But somehow, it comes around in a way that reveals character and makes sense to the audience. You can see this in the brilliant scene from THE AMERICAN PRESIDENT. President Shepard returns to the White House after going back on a deal he made with Sydney, who is his girlfriend and who also works for an environmental lobby firm. Here, she's talking about a sweater that she borrowed from her sister. He's trying to figure out why she's leaving. Two different conversations...until they explode into the real problem. You'll also note that the writer uses a metaphor (the sweater) and circular dialogue. INT. SHEPHERD'S BEDROOM - LATE AFTERNOON SYDNEY is going through the closet in search of something. The door opens, and SHEPHERD steps in, perhaps a little tentatively. He doesn't see SYDNEY at first. SHEPHERD (calling out) SYDNEY comes out. SYDNEY
Have you seen a gray cableknit sweater?
SHEPHERD A grey...sweater? No. I called you at the office, but... SYDNEY
It's Beth's. I wore it here one time, and I didn't want to leave it. SHEPHERD Where were you going? SYDNEY continues her search. SYDNEY
I'm going home, and then I'm going to Hartford. SHEPHERD Connecticut? SYDNEY Yes. Do you know if it was sent with your dry cleaning by any-- SHEPHERD
What's in Connecticut? SYDNEY
Richard Reynolds' campaign. He may be able to get me a job. SHEPHERD When did you decide to get a new SYDNEY Not long after Leo Solomon fired me from my old one. Beth's gonna kill me. She loves that-- SHEPHERD Why did he fire you? SYDNEY Total failure to achieve any of the objectives for which I was hired. I told him he was being unreasonable. After all, I did get to dance with the President and ride in Air Force One a couple of times. But you know those prickly environmentalists. It's always gonna be something with them. If it's not clean air, then it's clean water. Like it isn't good enough that I'm on the cover of People Magazine. SHEPHERD
I'll call him. SYDNEY
You'll call him? You mean you'll call him yourself? Personally? It'll come from the President? That's a great idea. I think you should call Leo and make a deal. He hires me back for, say, 72 days. I go around scaring the hell out of Congress, making them think that the President's about to drive through a very damaging and costly bill. They'll believe me, right, 'cause I'm the President's Friday Night Girl. Now I don't know if you can dip into this well twice, especially since I've lost all credibility in politics, but you never know, I might just be able to pull it off again. I might be able to give you just the leverage you need to pass some ground- breaking piece of crime legislation -- like a mandatory three-day waiting period before a five-year-old can buy an Uzi. She slams the drawer. SYDNEY Fuck the sweater -- she'll have to learn to live with disappointment. She starts to exit. SHEPHERD What do you think went on here today? She stops. SYDNEY
I know exactly what went on here today. I got screwed. You saw the poll, you needed the crime bill, you couldn't get it on your own, so I got screwed. SHEPHERD
The environment got screwed. Nothing happened to you today, Sydney. Governing is choosing. Governing is prioritizing. I've made no secret of the fact that the crime bill was my top priority. SYDNEY Well then, congratulations. It's only taken you three years to put together crime prevention legislation that has no hope of preventing crime. SYDNEY heads out the door-- SHEPHERD (stopping) Sydney. Please. I don't want to lose you over this. SYDNEY Mr. President, you got bigger problems than losing me. You just lost my And SYDNEY is out the door... ...we HOLD on SHEPHERD, looking like a man who's taken a lot of punches to the head... Did you see all three? The sweater is a metaphor for Sydney's anger and disappointment. Shepherd and Sydney are having two different conversations. And Sydney begins with the "sweater" and then circles back to it. All simple structures that can dramatically raise the entertainment value of a scene. BTW, I'm including an article I wrote showing some of the other techniques that are used in this same scene. It is worth a second read if you saw it in the newsletter. So now you have three different dialogue structures and if there's any |