The advanced dialogue class begins later today! And I promise you
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NOTE: Implied consequences: Ace is talking about the past, but this also implies possible consequences for him because we know that the Gruff Guy is on his way. Skip to... ACE'S POV We see the creep wailing on the car in Ace's side view mirror. Warning! Assholes are closer than they appear! NOTE: We could call this a warning, but it is more of a direct prediction that this guy is about to get him. Skip to next scene... INT. HOUSE - DAY A very sexy woman is hugging and kissing the Shiatsu. NOTE: Ace has returned the dog to its rightful owner and he asks for a monetary reward. She cuts Ace off with a devastating kiss. WOMAN
Would you like me to take you pants off instead? Ummmm Sure.
NOTE: Here, we have an Indirect Prediction of what is about to happen. She pulls him toward the bedroom. WOMAN It takes a big man to stand up to my husband. He's already put two of my lovers in the hospital. NOTE: Implied consequences. How did he find out? Does he have you followed. WOMAN
No… I tell him. NOTE: Now, it is a Direct Prediction that Ace will have more problems with the Gruff Guy. But Ace has to follow his animal instincts. She plants a kiss on Ace's neck and pulls him down out of frame onto the bed. Skip to... EXT. SECOND FLOOR - DAY Ace is just putting the key in the door when the landlord steps up behind him. Ace is startled by the dreaded Shickadance Rasp' (not unlike Linda Blair in THE EXORCIST). LANDLORD
Venturaaaaa? Ace straightens up, but doesn't turn around. Yes, Satan? NOTE: Create a reputation for the Villain. Now Ace turns around in mock surprise. Oh, I'm sorry, sir. You sounded like someone else. LANDLORD
Never mind the wise cracks Venturaaa. You owe me rent! NOTE: Implied Consequences: Pay the rent or you're out. Why is this important? Because it establishes one of Ace's motivations for taking the upcoming job. INT. MIAMI DOLPHIN HEADQUARTERS - LATER THAT DAY The very imposing office of BOBBY RIDDLE, owner of the Miami Dolphins. Riddle, 70, is a take charge, doesn't take crap from anyone type of guy. He is yelling at ROGER PODACTER, an ex-linebacker in his early sixties, and MELISSA ROBINSON, Podacter's attractive assistant. RIDDLE
All I care about is winning this Super Bowl! I want the players' head in the right place. Shit, Roger, you've been in this game long enough, you know how superstitious players are. Our quarterback's been putting his socks on backwards since high school. And I got a lineman who hasn't washed his jock in two years because he thinks flies are lucky! I want that god damn fish on the field Super Bowl Sunday! FIND THE FISH, OR FIND NEW JOBS! NOTE: There are three things going on in this set of lines. Implied Consequences: The Superbowl is at stake. Implied Consequences: The player's heads won't be in the right place without the fish. Warning: Find the fish or find new jobs. INT. HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS ACTION An upset Podacter and Melissa walk through the hallway. PODACTER Why did it have to happen now? I got three stinking years left till retirement. NOTE: An Indirect Prediction: He won't succeed. Implied Consequences: He won't make retirement. Even more important, Implied Hopelessness. Skip to... They stop outside Melissa's office by her secretary's desk. MELISSA
The police are checking into the animal rights people. (to secretary) Martha, have the police called back about the dolphin yet? MARTHA
No, but I wanted to tell you, when I lost my Cuddles, I hired a pet detective. NOTE: Small as this looks, Martha just made an Indirect Prediction: Hire a pet detective, find the fish. Skip to... EXT. PLAYING FIELD - A SHORT TIME LATER The Dolphin players practice. A crowd of reporters interview Marino. MARINO
We just choked in 82. We had a chance to win it and we didn't. Nobody's gonna choke this time, and if they do, I'll kill 'em. NOTE: Obvious Warning. But there is also the Implied Consequence of someone choking. Again, this line adds to the stakes by presenting the possibility of the team losing. Skip to... PODACTER Well if it looks like I'm walking funny it's because I have a bunch on reporters up my ass. They've been asking me about Snowflake all day. Who's this? NOTE: Another Implied Consequence: If the media finds out Snowflake is gone, the team will find out and that may cause them mental and emotional problems, which could cause them to lose. Skip to... INT. DOLPHIN TANK - MOMENTS LATER While eating sunflower seeds, Ace meticulously examines the tank, including the scratches where the hand banged up against the wall when Snowflake was stolen. All the while, he is singing a bastardized version of the theme from, "Flipper." …Wonderful Flipper… glorious Flipper… magnificent Flipper… The flippiest Flipper…
Podacter and Melissa, watching from the rim, look at each other like, "What have we gotten ourselves into?" Podacter spots something. PODACTER
Oh, great. A hoard or reporters are headed their way. PODACTER I'll try to head them off. NOTE: Here, we have a Countdown. Podacter is trying to head the reporters off while Melissa tries to get Ace out of the tank. MELISSA
(to Ace) Get out of the tank. (still singing) …Can't hear you Flipper, Flipper… Lookin' for Flipper, gotta find Flipper…
MELISSA I said, get out of the tank! Now! NOTE: Twice, Melissa demands that Ace get out of the tank. They're both issued as a Warning. The reporters draw closer. Podacter heads them off. REPORTER So where's Snowflake? PODACTER Ah… Snowflake is just, ah, not available right now. REPORTER
Come on, I'm supposed to get a shot of his new trick for the evening news. REPORTER #2 What? Is he sick? Other reporters chime in. VARIOUS REPORTERS Did something happen to Snowflake?! What're you hiding..?! NOTE: All four of these reporter lines are Confronting Someone Hiding from Something. They raise the tension and cause us to worry that Ace, Melissa, and Podacter will be exposed. Skip to... EXT. METRO POLICE DEPARTMENT - LATER THAT DAY Ace walks to the desk of EMILIO ECHAVEZ, a young energetic member of the homicide division. Ace has a silly impish look on his face. (playfully) I miss you. EMILIO
It's not a good time, Ace. If Einhorn sees me talking to you I'm gonna be history. NOTE: Direct Prediction. Because of this line, we're worried for the entire scene that Ace is going to get Emilio in trouble. Okay. Just tell me what you got on Snowflake. That's all I need. EMILIO
…I can't say anything. My hands are tied.
(effeminate) Sounds like my kind of a party. A cop comes to Emilio's desk. Look alive, Einhorn's on her way down. NOTE: The Countdown. Even though we don't have numbers or a clock to look at, we know that Einhorn is on her way. We're counting down until Emilio and Ace's demise. EMILIO Ace, please?! NOTE: Implied Hopelessness. Anytime someone is begging, they've lost hope of negotiating some other way. Emilio continues to beg until Einhorn shows up. I'll stop right here. Until I actually analyzed this, I would have never guessed that Anticipatory Dialogue was used this much in this movie. But it is now obvious that just adding one or two lines of Anticipatory Dialogue to each page will keep people engaged. Day 7: Subtext Dialogue Cover-ups
Well written subtext dialogue will get you noticed as a professional and it creates a pleasurable read. Before we jump into it, a few important points about subtext. There are three key parts to subtext: 1. The actual text/action. 2. The deeper meaning. 3. The point the deeper meaning is revealed to the audience. The text/action is what is written in the script. The other two parts can best be illustrated through a scene from AS GOOD AS IT GETS. This scene falls in the first two pages of the script. Melvin is after his next door neighbor's dog. My notes will show the subtext structure. INT. APARTMENT BUILDING (NEW YORK), HALLWAY - NIGHT
The dog takes a snap at Melvin, but the man is much meaner and quicker than the dog -- he holds his snout shut with his hand and reaches for the door of the garbage chute. MELVIN
I'll bet you wish you were some sort of real dog now, huh? Don't worry... this is New York. If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere, you know? You ugly, smelly fuck. And with that, he stuffs him in the garbage chute and lets go.
NOTE: Here, we see the 3rd part of subtext -- the meaning revealed. This can be done before, during or after the actual subtext dialogue. In this case, the audience is in on the deeper meaning before Melvin starts lying about it. You'll see that below. We hear a FADING SERIES of PLEADING "ANOOOOS" from the DOG fade to nothingness... as another apartment door opens emitting the loud sounds of a PARTY and SIMON NYE, early 30s. Simon has been born and raised with Gothic horror and it's strange that what that stew of trauma has produced is a gifted, decent man. INT. APARTMENT BUILDING (NEW YORK), HALLWAY - NIGHT Frantic... he bolts into the hall... Melvin is just about to enter his apartment. Verdell!?!! Here, good doggie... He notices Melvin at the far end of the hall. Mr. Udall... excuse me. Hey there! (as Melvin turns) Have you seen Verdell? MELVIN
What's he look like? NOTE: Melvin just used a cover-up technique that we're working with today. It is a question. A simple question, but it delivers the subtext quite well. This is the TEXT. Because we already know that Melvin stuffed the dog down the garbage chute, we know he is lying. This is important. Melvin's dialogue (the text) says "What's he look like?" and we interpret "Melvin is playing innocent, but he's the one who did it" (the deeper meaning). Imagine the same situation, but we don't see Melvin stuffing the dog down the chute. Instead, it starts with Simon looking for his dog. Melvin asks the above question and we interpret that he is just being helpful. But later, it is revealed that Melvin really did it. At that point, we reflect back and realize that Melvin wasn't being helpful, he was lying. Either way, the subtext works. It is just the point where it is revealed is different. So you can reveal the subtext before, during, or after the text. See that? Melvin starts to walk back to his apartment door which is directly opposite Simon's. My dog... you know... I mean my little dog with the adorable face... Don't you know what my dog looks like? MELVIN I got it. You're talking about your dog. I thought that was the name of the colored man I've been seeing in the hall. NOTE: Once again, because we know that Melvin did it, we are experiencing every line he says as subtext. We get the deeper meaning and in this case, it does a great job of demonstrating who Melvin is. So we get Melvin's character more by what he doesn't say, than what he does. Do you see how Subtext dialogue can provide a deeper experience for the audience? Dialogue Subtext comes in two types: 1. The cover up 2. Subtext pointers What we saw above were cover-ups. Melvin was covering the real meaning, but we as an audience perceived it. A Subtext Pointer actually directs our mind toward a specific interpretation and we'll work with those tomorrow. Sometimes a cover-up is more powerful because it causes an audience to engage, interpret and enjoy the deeper meaning. Sometimes, a Subtext Pointer is more powerful because it causes the audience to experience a specific subtext. But get this before we move on -- Subtext is not about trying to trick the audience. It is about delivering a deeper experience. If you trick the audience and make them feel stupid, your script will never become more than a paperweight. In fact, most good subtext has the audience immediately get the deeper meaning. Sometimes, we hide things from the audience if it will give a more profound experience later. Today, we'll work with the Dialogue Cover-up, which is simply a method of covering the real meaning, while allowing the audience to perceive it. Again, if you've been through the Subtext class, you can consider this a review or you can take it as a chance to improve the quality of your subtext dialogue. Either way, you'll benefit from going through this powerful set of techniques another time. METHODS OF COVER-UP: - Silence: Person doesn't answer when they should. - Action incongruent with words. - Change subject. - Question them. - Attack back. - Complement them. - Threaten them. - Confirm something they already believe whether it's true or not. - Misdirection: Do or say something that sends their mind in a different direction. - Inappropriate reaction to an emotional event. - Distraction. - Make a joke of it. - Continue the conversation as if nothing happened. Let's see how each of these work in the short scene below. The setup for this scene is simple. Rod has been going out with Darla until last week. At that point, she had a change-of-heart and hasn't spoken with Rod since. Rod still wants the relationship, but has no idea how to repair it. Rod and John have been best friends. INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY -- DAY After school: John and Rod lean against the lockers. Listen, we've been buds since third grade. I wouldn't do anything to mess up our-- Then don't. But she asked me out. I gotta answer Darla appears at the other end of the hallway and waves to John. She starts skipping his way. Last chance. Okay, there are many things Rod could say. For now, let's run this through the different Dialogue Cover-ups and see what kind of responses show up. Remember, we know Rod still wants Darla, but he doesn't have to say that directly, in fact, he may decide to use a completely different strategy. For now, we just need to cover his true words and feelings. - Silence: He could just watch the whole thing without saying a word. - Action incongruent with words. He steps in between them and says "Darla, I'd like to introduce you to my friend, John." Then he punches John. - Change subject. "You coming to football practice tonight?" - Question them. "How would you want to be treated?" - Attack back. "Guess that means you've broken up with Monique. I think I'll check her out." - Complement them. "You two will make a beautiful couple." - Threaten them "I'll see you just outside those doors. Bring her with you." - Confirm something they already believe whether it's true or not. "Guess she's single again." - Misdirection: "What will Monique think?" - Inappropriate reaction to an emotional event. He starts humming the song to "The Dating Game" and acts like the moderator "What do we have for the lovely couple. A trip to Hell. That's right, an all expenses paid trip to one of Hades most popular resorts -- Cheaters row." - Distraction. "Hey, can I get a quick ride home?" - Make a joke of it. "Share my girlfriend? Shit yeah. I've got a used condom here, too." - Continue the conversation as if nothing happened. "Yeah, that does leave you in a quandry, doesn't it. What do you do when there is a choice between your best friend and a chance to do his girlfriend. Let's ask Darla and see what she thinks." As with any dialogue or action, you want to pick the best line that is in character, is appropriate to the situation, and causes the audience to experience the meaning the way you want them to. ASSIGNMENT: ----------- Do what I did above with the Rod/John scene. 1. Write a quick scene and end it with the need for a response from one character. 2. Then give an example of how they might use each of the cover-up methods. METHODS OF COVER-UP: - Silence: Person doesn't answer when they should. - Action incongruent with words. - Change subject. - Question them. - Attack back. - Complement them. - Threaten them - Confirm something they already believe whether it's true or not. - Misdirection: Do or say something that sends their mind in a different direction. - Inappropriate reaction to an emotional event. - Distraction. - Make a joke of it. - Continue the conversation as if nothing happened. 3. Pick the best response. 4. Copy and paste the scene at the end, with the response you choose. 5. Answer the question "What I learned doing this assignment is...?" Title: Cover-up Deadline: 48 hours ------------------- Once you've done this, I think you'll see many applications for it in your screenplays. Surprisingly, some of the best lines in movies are cover-up lines. Why? Because they usually cover a lot of emotion and often create a deeper experience for the audience. Recently, I worked on a script that was finished and we must have changed over 40 lines that were on-the-nose to cover-ups that allowed the audience to experience the underlying subtext. It made the script a much stronger read. Well written cover-ups are one of the signs of a professional.
Day 8: Subtext Pointers If you want great subtext in your dialogue, you need to master two skills -- yesterday's cover-ups and today's technique, which I call "Directional figures-of-speech" or "subtext pointers." Many times, the right subtext pointer is 10 times as powerful as a direct statement by a character. These language patterns point our minds to the all-important deeper meaning. They naturally cause us to focus on certain parts of the subtext. They "directionalize" the mind. Here's a list of six figures-of-speech that work well for subtext: Metaphor
Implication Insinuation Sarcasm Allusion
We'll look at their use in a scene and then I'll give the actual definitions. But they are simple to use, once you understand how they Example: You may want us to see a character as a slob. Of course, the environment will show this, but instead of having a character say the obvious, you could just have them say "Without a doubt, you're the Martha Steward of cleanliness." That example uses Metaphor and Sarcasm and it causes us to focus on the mess in the environment. SPECIAL NOTE: Even if you've been through the Subtext Program, it is well worth going over this ground again. You'll notice that I've added some distinctions to the Subtext Pointer definitions and there is a different assignment that should make it easy for you to practice and improve your subtext dialogue. Below, I analyzed this BASIC INSTINCT scene and we are looking at it strictly for dialogue that has subtext. In it, Nick and his partner are taking Catherine to the police station to be interrogated. INT. THE CAR - DAY They sit in the front; she is in the back. The car goes over the winding, two-lane Mt. Tamalpais road. The fog is heavy. It's starting to rain. We see the beach far below. CATHERINE Do you have a cigarette? I don't smoke. CATHERINE Yes you do. Insinuation: I know the truth about you. I quit.
She smiles, looks at him. A beat, and he turns away. Another beat, and she lights a cigarette up. (continuing) I thought you were out of cigarettes. CATHERINE I found some in my purse; would you like one? Implication: You aren't over it. He turns back to her. I told you -- I quit. CATHERINE It won't last. Metaphor: With this line, it becomes clear that the whole cigarette conversation is a metaphor for Catherine to point out that Nick has a addictive personality or something very similar. A beat, as she looks at him, and then he turns away. You workin' on another book? CATHERINE Yes I am. It must really be somethin' -- makin' stuff up all the time. Allusion: Gus casually brings up the possibility that she'll lie. He watches her in the rearview mirror. CATHERINE It teaches you to lie. How's that? CATHERINE You make it up, but it has to be believable. They call it suspension of disbelief. Implication: I can lie without you knowing it. I like that. "Suspension of Disbelief." He smiles at her in the mirror. What's your new book about? CATHERINE A detective. He falls for the wrong woman. Metaphor: The book is about their relationship. He turns back to her. What happens to him? She looks right into his eye. CATHERINE She kills him. Implication: Catherine will kill Nick. A beat, as they look at each other, and then he turns away from her. Gus watcher her in the rearview mirror. Okay, do you see how these language patterns work. They direct the audience's mind toward the deeper meaning, instead of just covering it up. DEFINITIONS: ----------- These are the definitions that come directly from the dictionary. While most people don't spend much time considering how different language patterns work, it is nice for a writer to understand them. Metaphor - The application of a word or phrase to an object or concept which it does not literally denote. Essentially "A is B." Implication - Something indicated or suggested as naturally to |