The advanced dialogue class begins later today! And I promise you

be inferred.  You are implying a conclusion.

Insinuation  - An indirect or covert suggestion or hint.  This

usually comes as an indirect accusation.

Hint         - A clue, a slight covert suggestion.  You are

Clueing the reader or character in to a small

part without giving them the entire puzzle.

Sarcasm  

- A sneering or cutting remark toward an object

of ridicule.

Allusion   

- To reference casually or indirectly. 

(See expanded explanation below.)

When you look at them, it is obvious that they are perfect for writing subtext.  Each of these figures-of-speech point your mind toward something underneath the surface.  They're aren't just cover-ups.  They engage the mind and cause us to wonder, jump to conclusions, and rethink our assumptions about the characters and story.

If you breezed right by that last paragraph, pay close attention to this part:

Each of these figures-of-speech point your mind toward something underneath the surface.  They're aren't just cover-ups.  They engage the mind and cause us to wonder, jump to conclusions, and rethink our assumptions about the characters and story.

I had to repeat it because it is so important.  Subtext dialogue comes in two types -- cover-ups and directional figures-of-speech.  If you master those two, people will be astounded at your dialogue.

Let's look at one more example of these techniques in use.  Again, from BASIC INSTINCT, which is full of subtext because the plot, characters, and scenes are designed for subtext.

This scene takes place right after the interrogation where she completely confounded the police.  She passed the polygraph test, then asked Nick for a ride home.  This is the ride.  Notice the figures-of-speech.

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INT. HIS CAR - NIGHT

It is an old, mint-condition silver Porsche.

It is pouring rain; the wind is blowing:  a San Francisco

winter storm.

Nothing is said. A long beat as he drives.  She yawns.

Stretches.  He looks at her.

CATHERINE

(smiles)

I'm tired.

It's got to be tiring to beat that

machine.

She looks at him and looks away.  A beat.

CATHERINE

If I were guilty, and if I wanted

to beat that machine, it wouldn't

be tiring.  It wouldn't be tiring

at all.

Implication:  She's saying she is not guilty.

CATHERINE

Because I'm a professional liar.  I

spend most of my waking hours

dwelling on my lies.

(a beat)

He looks at her.

CATHERINE

(continuing; smiles)

I love the rain, don't you?

Cover-up:  Change subject.

He says nothing, doesn't look at her.

CATHERINE

(continuing)

You took a polygraph after you shot

those two people, didn't you?

Hint:  He might have beat the test, too.

He looks at her now.

I passed.

Implication:  You may be guilty, but I'm not.

CATHERINE

You see?  We're both innocent, Nick.

Sarcasm:  You're no different than me.

He pulls up in front of her house on Divisadero, stops.  He

sees the white Ferrari in the driveway.

How do you know all this stuff

about me?

CATHERINE

You know all about me.

Hint:  Same way you know about me.  She investigates.

I don't know anything that isn't

police business.

CATHERINE

(after a beat)

You know I don't like to wear any

underwear, don't you, Nick?

Sarcasm:  She is saying that she knows that he watched her undress.

They look at each other a beat.

CATHERINE

(continuing; smiles)

Thanks for the ride.

And she's out of the car.  He watches her as she hurries in

the rain -- his eyes on her until the moment she opens the

door and is inside.

One simple technique that some people have difficulties with is

Allusion.  Remember that this is not an English class.  We are not held to the strict definitions that we were in high school and college.  Instead, what we're creating is high quality subtext.  So we are using definitions and figures of speech in ways that create subtext.

Here's the definition of allusion that I selected.  It did come out of the dictionary:

Allusion   

- To reference casually or indirectly.

Now watch it as I play part of the BASIC INSTINCT scene again.

You workin' on another book?

CATHERINE

Yes I am.

It must really be somethin' --

makin' stuff up all the time.

Allusion:  Gus casually brings up the possibility that she'll lie.

He watches her in the rearview mirror.

CATHERINE

It teaches you to lie.

Notice that the allusion points to the subtext and if we didn't fully get it, Catherine's next line reveals the actual subtext.

Also notice that Gus is directly talking about writing books, but casually references that Catherine makes things up.   He could have then followed it up with an insinuation "I wonder if a writer could get in the habit of making things up and not even realize it."   But Catherine caught his allusion and instantly took it to the next level.

Allusion simply means that the character is casually bringing up a subject and may just skim right over it.

POWERFUL LINES

Many times, a subtext pointer is perfect for important moments of

the movie.  Jim Shea sent me an excellent example of that from the movie AIR FORCE ONE.

"At the end of the story, the support team is waiting around the radio to hear if the President has been rescued.  If the radioman calls in "We've saved the President, or He's on board, or anything like that, it would be On-The-Nose.  Instead they say,'We're changing our call letters to Air Force One!'

Everyone cheers.  It's a great cinema moment.  The audience, without being told, knows that only a plane carrying the President can have such a distinction.  This metaphor flatters the intelligence of the audience. That's always a good thing."

Jim Shea

At this point, you have the definitions and two scenes where these figures-of-speech are used as subtext pointers.  This is deep stuff, but it is some of the most important dialogue information you'll ever receive.  If you master these skills, your dialogue will be amazing.

ABOUT TODAY'S ASSIGNMENT

Today, your assignment will be to write a scene like we did yesterday. At the conclusion of the scene, you'll take one person's line through all of these Subtext pointers.

Here's a quick example:

EXT.  HOUSE -- NIGHT

Jack and Clara step to the front door.

What do you bet she didn't do

a thing?  Hundred bucks?

CLARA

first time with three children.  You

expect maid service from a--

Yeah, yeah.  I got it.  But it really

irks me how these babysitters can

charge $15 an hour and not do a

damn thing besides sit on their ass.

Clara puts her key in the door.

INT.  HOUSE -- SAME TIME

To their shock, Clara and Jack step into a spotless

house.  Their THREE CHILDREN are lined up in a

row, watching TV.   Joan, the babysitter, sits in the

recliner, reading a book.

Clara shoots Jack a look and says...

METAPHOR:  You have a future as a headhunter for babysitters.

IMPLICATION:  Can't wait for your next prediction.

INSINUATION:  You used these same skills of deduction when you

trashed my mother.

HINT:  You always tip a good waitress, don't you?

SARCASM:  Can you spell the word "bastard?"

ALLUSION:   You know, Fredericks is having a sale.

Most important here, notice how each of my lines above point toward a specific area of subtext.  For example, the last line points toward the $100 bet that Jack just lost.

ASSIGNMENT:

-----------

Do what I did above with the Jack/Clara scene.

1.  Write a quick scene and end it with the need for a response from one character.

2.  Then give an example of how they might use each of the

subtext pointer methods.

SUBTEXT POINTER METHODS:

- Metaphor

- Implication

- Insinuation

- Hint

- Sarcasm

3.  Pick the best response.

4.  Copy and paste the scene at the end, with the response you choose.

5.  Answer the question "What I learned doing this assignment is...?"

Deadline:  48 hours

Okay, this may look difficult, but it can be easier than it looks.  Follow these steps to make it easier:

1.  Give your characters something to hide or something

they're trying to uncover.

2.  Then do the Figures-of-speech that work best for

you.

are clear on what you're writing.

4.  If all else fails, just write something.  Try

to have it point toward some underlying meaning.

Sometimes, these figures-of-speech blend together and seem very

similar.  That is okay.  Ultimately, what matters is that you can

write great lines.  Do your best to keep them distinct in your mind, but don't worry if the lines that come from them seem the same. It's totally okay.

As always, just do your best in the next 48 hours and whatever you turn in will be fine.  Remember, by going through this process, you are going to gain the experience of using these techniques, which will make them easier to use in the future.

If you have any questions, please email me privately and I'll provide answers.

Enjoy your subtext.

Day 9: Creating Colorful Dialogue
When it comes to writing great dialogue, I believe the more

options you have, the better.  One of the toughest things to do

is stare at a screen hoping that something brilliant will just pop out of your mind and somehow fit the script you're writing.

Instead, I'd rather have many options.  As we've gone through

this class, you've worked with a lot of different techniques that

can be applied to any line of dialogue.  Today, we're going to

see the value of one that isn't quite as profound as subtext or

anticipation, but this technique can lure an A-list actor just as quickly.

It's called COLORFUL DIALOGUE.

First, let me give you an example, then I'll explain it in more detail.

From the movie TOMBSTONE, the scene where Doc Holliday and

Johnny Ringo first meet.  Pay close attention to the dialogue of

Doc, Fabian, Ike, and Ringo.  Each of them express character and

move the scene forward through colorful dialogue.

In my notes, I'll put the techniques used in quotes.

ORIENTAL

NIGHT

Mr Fabian enters, dramatically gotten-up like Lord Byron.

Breakenridge jumps up from his table, excited:

BREAKENRIDGE

Here, Mr Fabian, have this table.

He seats Fabian near the faro game, gets him some champagne.

FABIAN

BREAKENRIDGE

Mr. Fabian, I've got to tell you,

That’s the most wonderful thing I

ever saw. What was that?

FABIAN

s all right but he’s no match

for the Melancholy Dane.

(sees his confusion)

Hamlet, dear friend, the supreme

role of any actor worth his salt.

NOTE:  First note a few of Fabian's traits:  Haughty and theatrical. And his dialogue is often "Poetic."

(leans in, points to

Wyatt)

Here’s a man you should meet, Mr.

you, the real-life actual Melancholy

Dane.

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I wouldn't use a trait like this, but in the world of Tombstone, an educated man was rare, and therefore stood out.

FABIAN

Indeed, sir? How so?

of both sides of his mouth

but all

on a very high plane, just like

WYATT

Doc chuckles. Suddenly Curly Bill looms over the faro table

with Ringo and a drunken Ike Clanton.

CURLY BILL

Wyatt Earp, huh? I heard of you.

Listen, Mr. Kansas Law-dog. Law don't

go around here. Savvy?

NOTE:  There's a beautiful line.  In just two sentences, we know Ike. He's the opposite of Doc.  Uneducated, threatening, and willing to fight without sizing up the situation around him.

Look at that line:  He starts with "Unique Naming" -- Mr. Kansas Law-dog. Then some grammar that fits his education.  But what makes it interesting is the "Emotion" that comes through.

WYATT

CURLY BILL

Good. That’s real good.

Yeah, that’s good, Mr. Law-dog, ‘cause

law don't go around here.

NOTE:  Once again, this is beautiful because it so fits this character. He is single-minded and repeats himself because that is all he can do.

WYATT

I heard you the first time.

Shut up, Ike.

RINGO

(steps up to Doc)

That’s the rumor.

NOTE:  Sarcastic response.

RINGO

Not me. I'm in my prime.

NOTE:  Here's another of Doc's traits:  Fearless.  While Wyatt

Erp spends most of the movie trying to stay out of a gunfight,

Doc is willing to engage in one at the drop of a hat.

Also, in the actual movie, Doc is sweating because he is dying.

So Ringo's next line is a Subtext Pointer indicating Doc's

physical state.

RINGO

Yeah, you look it.

Johnny Ringo. The deadliest pistoleer

since Wild Bill, they say. What do

you think, darling? Should I hate

You don't even know him.

NOTE:  Doc instantly identifies Ringo as the "deadliest pistoleer" and then talks about hating him. Doc is taunting Ringo without fear and without acting crazy.   Every line from this point on increases the tension and sets up the personal conflict between the two men.

Yes, but there’s just something about

him. Something around the eyes, I

don't know, reminds me of… me. No.

I'm sure of it, I hate him.

NOTE:  Doc is doing a few things here.  First, in the last two sets of lines, he has "Contradictory Statements."  He states how deadly Ringo is, then asks if he should hate him.  Then, he says that Ringo reminds him of himself and follows that up with "I'm sure of it, I hate him."

Second, his final line is a "Strange Conclusion."  He is standing

right in front of Ringo, talking about him like he isn't there and clearly stating Ringo's reputation, then coming to the conclusion that he should hate him.

And third, he just compared Ringo to himself.  Essentially, he is

establishing a relationship between the two of them and at the

same time, he's saying that Ringo is in his league.

Finally, in both of these, he has "Taken this to an Extreme."

WYATT

He’s drunk.

In vino veritas.

RINGO

Credat Judaeus Apella.

RINGO

(pats gun)

(Cheshire cat smile)

In pace requiescat.

NOTE:   They spar in Latin.  Notice how use of a different language here says something powerful about these characters.  It says they are both educated and it says they are very similar.

I would call that exchange "Jargon" that comes from having similar educations.

WHITE

Come on now. We don't want any trouble

in here. Not in any language.

Evidently Mr. Ringo's an educated

Man. Now I really hate him.

NOTE:  And if we didn't get who Doc is in this situation, he confirms it with these last lines.

Ringo looks at Doc, holding his gaze while suddenly whipping

out his .45. Everyone but Doc flinches.

Ringo does a dazzling series of twirls and tricks, his nickel-

plated pistol flashing like a blaze of silver fire, finally

slapping it back into his holster with a flourish. Cheers

and hoots. Doc rolls his eyes, hooks a finger through the

handle of his silver cup, then launches into an exact

duplication of Ringo's routine using a cup instead of a gun.

The room bursts into laughter. Doc shrugs. Ringo lets a

strange little hint of a smile cross his face then exits

with the others.

While the writer used many techniques to make this scene work,

he also used our Seven Colorful Dialogue techniques that are listed

below.

Below are the definitions for seven Colorful Dialogue techniques.  Most important, these techniques need to be used in conjunction with the Character Traits.

TAKE TO AN EXTREME:  Most remote in any direction; outermost or

farthest: Of the greatest severity; drastic.

POETIC:  the use of language chosen for its sound and suggestive

power and by the use of literary techniques such as

meter, metaphor, and rhyme.

UNIQUE NAMING:  A word or group of words used to describe or

evaluate, often disparagingly.

JARGON:  The specialized or technical language of a trade,

profession, or similar group.

WRITE EMOTIONALLY:  Arousing or intended to arouse the emotions.

Readily affected with or stirred by emotion.

CONTRADICTORY STATEMENTS:  Two statements that assert or

express the opposite of each other.

STRANGE CONCLUSIONS:  A judgment or decision reached that

appears to be abnormal, bizarre, offbeat,

or uncommon.

There you have seven Colorful Dialogue techniques.   Each one, when used correctly can turn average dialogue into more interesting dialogue.

ASSIGNMENT:

---------------------

Write a scene and make two character's lines as colorful as possible.

Use this structure:

1.  Write a scene where two characters oppose each other.

2.  Go back through and look to see how you can use each

of these Colorful Dialogue Formats in the dialogue.

- Take to extreme

- Poetic

- Jargon

- Contradictory statements

- Strange conclusions

3.  Answer the question "What I learned doing this assignment is...?"

Deadline:  48 hours

----------------------------

As you've probably experienced in previous assignments, this looks difficult, but once you start writing and using the techniques, the process is easier than it looks.

Start with any scene where two characters oppose each other.  Then you can rewrite the dialogue one of two ways.  Either...

A.  With each line of dialogue, think of how you could rewrite it using each of the 7 formats.

B.  Take one format at a time and run every line of dialogue through it.

At first, just see what jumps out at you.  Many times, just looking at a line and asking something like "How could that line become a strange conclusion?" will cause your mind to generate a great idea.

Again, if this seems confusing, just take it one step at a time.  And of course, whatever you do is fine.  This is "first draft" work, but going through the process will make it easier for you to use these techniques when you are rewriting. And that could cause you to write some of those brilliant lines that make it

into trailers and become a part of everyday language.

Ready to become colorful?   Go for it!

Day 10. Applying Advanced Dialogue to Your Screenplays
In this section, we worked with Character traits, World View, Contrasting dialogue, Dialogue Structures, Anticipatory Dialogue, Subtext and Colorful Language.  Any of these can assist you to write and rewrite more compelling dialogue.

We're now going to bring many these skills together for one scene and ultimately for your entire script.  So there's not going to be much explanation.  Just three assignments.

ASSIGNMENT 1

------------

Using the ADVANCED DIALOGUE SKILL SHEET that will arrive

after this email, write a scene incorporating most of the skills

we've worked with so far by performing these actions.

1.  Give us the following information:

A.  Name and Character Traits for the two main

characters.

B.  Set up for the situation.

2.  Select a Dialogue Structure and write the scene.

3.  Do a pass over the dialogue, focusing on one set of dialogue

skills at a time.

4.  Answer the question "What I learned doing this assignment

is...?"

---------------------

IMPORTANT:  Don't stress out over this.  Just take the steps one at a time.  Remember, this isn't for a grade.  It is to give you a chance to see how doing quick rewrites of dialogue can change the quality of any scene.

So relax and take the steps while not worrying about the next steps.  First, create a couple of characters with strong character traits.  Once you have that done, congratulate yourself.   Then put them in a situation that has interesting conflict.  Congratulate yourself.  Then, write a first draft.  Etc.

Do that one step at a time and you'll have an enjoyable time as you get to explore just how brilliant you can be.

ADVANCED DIALOGUE SKILL SHEET

47 Ways to Write Better Dialogue

By Hal Croasmun

WHAT MAKES GREAT DIALOGUE GREAT?

1.  What dialogue is not:

Dialogue doesn't "tell" the story.  It is not a substitute for story.  If you have characters telling each other what they're doing, your scene and dialogue will come across as dull exposition.

2.  What dialogue is:

Dialogue is a screenwriting tool like visuals, music, character, etc that has these two main activities occurring:

-  An constant _expression of character

-  Consistent attack/counterattack

3.  Great dialogue sounds natural, but isn't.  It accomplishes a purpose.

Dialogue is either setting something up, paying it off, providing other meanings, highlighting something that needs to be in the foreground,foreshadowing something coming up or a number of other things.

4.  Great dialogue delivers on multiple levels.

That can occur through metaphor, indirection, subtext, or even silence.

---------------------------------------------

THREE KEYS TO WELL PRONOUNCED CHARACTER TRAITS

1.  They represent the CORE of that character.

2.  They are precise.

3.  One or more traits is demonstrated well in each line of dialogue.

RECOMMENDATION:  Look at your character's traits and search for

ways they can be communicated through both actions and dialogue.

---------------------------------------------

The WORLD VIEW MODEL contains four parts:

World View:  Their overview for this story.  A simple statement.

Metaphors:  Life metaphors they operate and take action out of.

Rules and strategies:   What works and doesn't work in their

world.

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