The advanced dialogue class begins later today! And I promise you

confusion, please read the examples again. Now that you know what they

are, you'll begin to see these structures in conversations everywhere.

ASSIGNMENT

----------

Write a scene using one or more of the dialogue structures listed here:

1. Circular dialogue.

2. Metaphoric dialogue.

3. Two different conversations at the same time.

Deadline: 48 hours

----------------------------

Each of the above techniques, while simple, can give your dialogue the feel of real life and keep readers involved in the scene. In many cases, you could take a scene that just works okay and by changing the format, improve the impact it has on the reader/audience.

I can't wait to see what you do with it.

"The American President" Dialogue Article

Scriptforsale newsletter. It is worth reading again just to see some (not all) of the dialogue techniques that were used.

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3. ARTICLE: What makes Great Dialogue great?

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When dialogue is flat or bland, the whole script feels bad. On the

other hand, great dialogue can elevate a mediocre script and cause

people to see the writer as "someone with serious potential," even

if there are other glaring errors in the script.

Among other things, great dialogue produces these results:

- Delivers on multiple levels

- Projects character

- Engages us in the story

- Sounds natural, but accomplishes a purpose.

It is well worth taking the time and effort to master the skill of writing great dialogue. To start that process, let's look at some dialogue from THE AMERICAN PRESIDENT that Aaron Sorkin wrote which

does a pretty good job of bringing a scene to life.

In this scene, President Shepherd has just returned to the White

House after reversing his position on a political deal he made with

Sydney, who is his girlfriend and who also works for an

environmental lobby firm. He finds Sydney searching for a sweater.

INT. SHEPHERD'S BEDROOM - LATE AFTERNOON

SYDNEY is going through the closet in search of something.

The door opens, and SHEPHERD steps in, perhaps a little

tentatively. He doesn't see SYDNEY at first.

SHEPHERD

(calling out)

SYDNEY comes out.

SYDNEY

sweater?

A grey...sweater? No. I called you

at the office, but...

SYDNEY

and I didn't want to leave it.

NOTE: This seems like a useless topic for a lead character to be

discussing with the President of the U.S.. Normally, this kind of

thing wouldn't move the story forward, but in this case, you'll see

that the sweater is a brilliant METAPHOR for how Sydney feels.

Also, notice how it leads to Shepherd's question, which then leads

to the big issue. This is Sydney's first HOOK: "I didn't want to

leave it."

SHEPHERD

SYDNEY continues her search.

SYDNEY

I'm going home, and then I'm going

NOTE: Another hook.

SHEPHERD

Connecticut?

SYDNEY

Yes. Do you know if it was sent with

SHEPHERD

NOTE: Notice how Shepherd has to drag this information out of

her. The subtext is that he knows there is a problem under the

surface, but hasn't gotten to it yet.

SYDNEY

Richard Reynolds' campaign. He may

NOTE: A third hook. By the time we get to Sydney's next line,

we're in a heavy state of anticipation.

SHEPHERD

SYDNEY

from my old one. Beth's gonna kill

me. She loves that--

NOTE: Again, notice how Sydney is only giving the minimum

amount of information she can. She is forcing him to dig deeper.

Also, notice that there are two different conversations going on here

-- the "sweater" conversation and the "firing/new job" conversation.

SHEPHERD

SYDNEY

objectives for which I was hired. I

told him he was being unreasonable.

After all, I did get to dance with

the President and ride in Air Force

One a couple of times. But you know

those prickly environmentalists.

It's always gonna be something with

them. If it's not clean air, then

it's clean water. Like it isn't good

enough that I'm on the cover of People

Magazine.

NOTE: Note the subtext technique -- sarcasm. It is a great

technique for her to express her anger with Shepherd and to have

us understand her concerns without directly stating them.

SHEPHERD

SYDNEY

call him yourself? Personally?

It'll come from the President?

That's a great idea. I think you

should call Leo and make a deal. He

hires me back for, say, 72 days. I

go around scaring the hell out of

Congress, making them think that the

President's about to drive through a

very damaging and costly bill.

They'll believe me, right, 'cause

I'm the President's Friday Night

Girl. Now I don't know if you can

dip into this well twice, especially

since I've lost all credibility in

politics, but you never know, I might

just be able to pull it off again. I

might be able to give you just the

leverage you need to pass some ground-

breaking piece of crime legislation --

like a mandatory three-day waiting

period before a five-year-old can

buy an Uzi.

NOTE: Again, sarcasm as subtext. She's not saying "Wow, this is

a great idea." She's saying "You've killed my reputation and taken

me out of politics."

Also, notice the exaggeration in the end: "three-day waiting period

before a five-year-old can buy an Uzi." Another excellent technique

for creating colorful dialogue.

She slams the drawer.

SYDNEY

Fuck the sweater -- she'll have to

NOTE: Here is my favorite line. She's not talking about her sister,

she's talking about herself. At this point, the sweater metaphor has

paid off. It is interesting how the writer used this metaphor to deliver the emotional impact of Shepherd's betrayal.

She starts to exit.

SHEPHERD

She stops.

SYDNEY

I know exactly what went on here

poll, you needed the crime bill, you

couldn't get it on your own, so I

got screwed.

NOTE: Finally, Sydney has told him exactly what she is upset

about. If this had been her third set of lines in the beginning of this

scene, it would have been considered on-the-nose and bad dialogue.

But because of the amazing buildup, we now honor her direct

statement.

SHEPHERD

happened to you today, Sydney.

Governing is choosing. Governing is

prioritizing. I've made no secret of

the fact that the crime bill was my

top priority.

NOTE: Here is Shepherd's JUSTIFICATION. Again, if he had said

this early in the scene, it would have been totally flat, but because

it was well set up, with all the upset, it has an interesting impact:

It shows Shepherd's standard line as nothing more than a weak

justification.

SYDNEY

only taken you three years to put

together crime prevention legislation

that has no hope of preventing crime.

NOTE: Sydney just stated the IRONY of Shepherd's justification.

That makes it interesting dialogue.

SYDNEY heads out the door--

SHEPHERD

Sydney. Please. I don't want to lose

you over this.

SYDNEY

than losing me. You just lost my

And SYDNEY is out the door...

NOTE: I like this METAPHOR because it provides many meanings.

It says she lost faith in him. It also says that he is a bad President

and she expects him to lose other voters -- "you've got bigger

problems than losing me."

When dialogue is written well, it often looks deceptively simple. I've

always liked this scene, but it wasn't until I analyzed it that I noticed all the work the writer put into it. Hopefully, just reading this gives you some ideas on how to improve your dialogue.

It takes some work to write dialogue like this, but it is well worth it.

Day 6: Anticipatory Dialogue
Today, I'm presenting the simplest method of creating curiosity --

Anticipatory Dialogue.  This will give you easy formats to have your

dialogue demand that people read farther.

Anticipatory dialogue uses statements or questions that create

expectation in the reader's mind.  It causes the reader to

wonder/worry about some future event in the script.

There are two very important reasons to be proficient at

anticipatory dialogue.

1.  The better you are at causing your reader to wonder/worry

about the future of your screenplay, the more likely

they'll read the entire script.

2.  Some readers and executives only read the dialogue.  And

in many cases, they skim it.  That means that some of your

dialogue needs to cause anticipation in a way that stands

BTW, if you look at any thriller, you'll see almost every scene filled with anticipatory dialogue.

Keep one more thing in mind:  Follow the rules of dialogue from the first section.  You'll see in the examples below that most are written

off-the-nose and are written in character.  If you do the same thing, you can use every single one of these techniques over and over in your script without concern of people seeing it as formulaic.

I've listed eleven forms of anticipatory dialogue below.  Read the

examples, then you'll have a chance to use them in a scene for your script.

NOTE:  Unless they're indented, each line of dialogue is it's own.

Indented dialogue goes together.

1.  Direct prediction.

You simply predict something that could happen in the future of

the story.  Ultimately, it doesn't matter whether it actually

happens or not.  What is important is that it causes us to worry

and causes a character to either fight for or against the event

predicted.

In the movie THE CONTENDER, both sides predict the fate of the

other side.

In the White House:

PRESIDENT (to Lane Hansen)

We all have to understand.  We're going to

obliterate a life.  But we'll get you the Vice

Presidency.

In the Senator's office:

SENATOR (to his team)

In this war, there will be casualties.  So help

me God, not among us.  What we will prove is

that Lane Hansen is a cancer.

It is clear from these two opposing statements that a major

conflict is brewing.  In just two lines of dialogue, we've got

wonder/worry happening.

2.  Indirect prediction.

A character says something that has you infer that something will happen in

the future of the script.

HARKER (On phone in Spy Game)

Yeah, this is Harker.  I need confirmation on

all calls in and out of Nathan Murer's office.

This implies that Harker is suspicious of Nathan and that he expects to

gain something from monitoring the calls Nathan makes.  Below, Nathan is asked if he wants someone else to eliminate one of his team who is being interrogated by the Chinese government.

NATHAN

(To the investigators in Spy Games)

mare down.  It came up lame.  You know what my

Uncle said?  He said "Why would I ask somebody

else to kill a horse that belonged to me?"

Indirectly, he's saying that he will do his own killing.  It causes us to worry about whether Nathan is on his guy's side or actually going out to kill him.

3.  Countdown.

DUNKIN  (Spy Game)

I'll give you 25 minutes before I transmit.  If

you want to see the cable before they do, you

better hustle.

BUREAUCRAT   (Spy Game)

Bishop's been arrested and is held in Shanghai.

NATHAN

How long does the president have to claim him?

Twenty-four hours, as of now.  He's been

classified as a common criminal.   He'll be

executed at 8 AM tomorrow morning.

4.  Imply consequences.

Each of the lines below imply a threat or imply future consequences.  They come from different places in the movie SPY GAME.

In separate conversations:

BUREAUCRAT

We want to see your files.

SECRETARY

Harper says I'm supposed to collect your files

on Tom Bishop.

SECRETARY

Feeling a little paranoid, are you sir?

BUREAUCRAT

Nathan, you should leave here knowing that

we're looking into every possible scenario.

NATHAN

5.  Imply hopelessness.

BUREAUCRAT  (Spy Game)

He's been classified as a common criminal.  He'll

be executed at 8 AM tomorrow morning.

In this scene, Bishop is trying to help a spy escape and has been given

word that the KGB is on to him.

BISHOP

SCHMIDT

BISHOP

With just a few words, you get the hopelessness of the situation.  It

dramatically increases our fear for the characters.

6.  Shield from consequences in advance.

Dialogue that protects automatically implies danger.

BISHOP

There's some vodka in the glove box.  Spill it

on your coat.  If they stop us, don't say a

word.

(Voice over in Rounders)

Listen, here's the thing.  If you can't spot

the sucker in your first thirty minutes at a

table, then you are the sucker."

7.  Warnings.

Of course, warnings increase the tension and make us worry that something terrible will happen.

NATHAN

Listen to this, 'cause this is important.  If

you'd pulled some stunt over there and gotten

nabbed, I wouldn't come after you.  If you go

off the reservation, I will not come after you.

ALANZO

If I was a dealer, you'd be dead.  Turn shit down

on the street and the Chief hands your wife a

crisply-folded flag.

8.  Create a reputation that causes interest.

Given the right reputation, we'll watch to find out what the

person is going to do next.  In the first example from ROUNDERS,

Mike creates a reputation for "no limit poker."  The key on

creating a reputation is to make it ominous enough, without

being so on-the-nose that the audience turns off.

ROUNDERS

MIKE  (Matt Damon)

No limit.  There's no other game in which

fortunes can change so much from hand to hand.

Some people, even pros, won't play No-limit.

They can't handle the swings.

In just three sentences, the background of ROUNDERS has a

reputation that will cause us to be concerned about anyone who

jumps into the game.

Now, let's look at a subtle version from SPY GAME.  Here,

Harker is investigating Nathan and confronts a CIA operative

who has worked with Nathan for 20 years.

HARKER

How long have you known Nathan?

No one knows Nathan, really.

HARKER

You trust him?

He's a man who got the job done.

Subtle, but the subtext here creates a reputation.  When a man

who has known someone for 20 years says "No one knows Nathan,

really," you know the character is unpredictable.

9. Confront someone hiding from a future consequence.

A character who is in denial or who is unaware of a future consequence can easily make a terrible mistake.  Having someone confront them about it is an opportunity to create a future of fear.

NATHAN

What we do is unfortunately very very necessary.

If you're not willing to sacrifice scum like

Schmidt, then you better take a long hard look

at your chosen profession, because it doesn't

get any easier.

10. A challenge or threat.

A challenge could be to a contest or duel that occurs at the end of the

movie or it could a challenge to a person's skill/ability to perform.

ALONZO (Training Game)

I'm supervising five officers.  You, Officer Hoyt,

if you got the guts to succeed, will be number six.

Gonna show you reality.  Think you can handle it?

NATHAN

This is a whole other game and it's serious and

it's dangerous and it's not one you want to lose.

11. Silence at a strange time.

HACKER  (Spy Game)

I want to know what you know about Operation

Rodeo.

NATHAN

He gets up and walks to the window without saying anything.

Later, with a room full of investigators, Nathan asks a question.

NATHAN

Each man avoids his gaze in their own way.

For anyone who is wondering why you haven't seen the term "Anticipatory

Dialogue" in any other screenwriting books, it's because I came up with it. After looking at many scripts, I noticed that certain lines instantly caused me to anticipate a future in the script and began researching to discover a pattern.

ADVANCED DIALOGUE ASSIGNMENT

-----------------------------------------

Create a scene that sets up a future problem.  In it, use as many forms of Anticipatory dialogue as you can.  Here's a list that will help you.

1.  Direct prediction.

2.  Indirect prediction.

3.  Countdown.

4.  Imply consequences.

5.  Imply hopelessness.

6.  Shield from consequences in advance.

7.  Warnings.

8.  Create reputation for the villain.

9. Confront someone hiding from a future consequence.

10. A challenge issued.

11. Silence at a strange time.

Then answer the question "What I learned doing this assignment is...?"

Deadline:  48 hours.

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As always, don't worry about getting it perfect.  Just get it done.  Find a way to cram these techniques into the scene.  What's most important is that you get the experience of designing a scene with Anticipatory Dialogue. Once you've done that, it will be easier to use the skill with eloquence.

If this seems difficult, keep reminding yourself that by struggling with it, you are learning and that means that you'll be better at it the next time.  And soon, it will be second nature.  But to reach that level of fluency, you've got to take the first difficult steps.

So keep your commitment to yourself.  You'll be glad you did.

When I first wrote this, I thought anticipatory dialogue was

just a small part of most screenplays.  But the more scripts

I read, the more I see it.

To illustrate this point, I'll be examining the anticipatory

dialogue from ACE VENTURA.  It is a comedy, so you wouldn't expect to see much "thriller-type" dialogue, but what it shows is just how important anticipatory dialogue is to the success of a script.

Even if you did this lesson/assignment in the GSS, I'd like you

to do everything you can to improve your quality.  When you

see the amount of anticipatory dialogue buried in ACE VENTURA,

you'll understand why this is such an important skill.

And for those of you who haven't seen this before, you're in for

a real treat.
Below are dialogue snippets from the first 20 pages of ACE VENTURA.  You'll see 22 notes where I point out Anticipatory Dialogue.

The reason I'm giving you this is so you can really get a feel for just how important it is to a story to create constant anticipation.  And some very simple lines of dialogue can make that happen.  So please, don't underestimate this technique.

Also, there were many examples that I left out in these 20 pages because they were just duplicates of what I'd just pointed out.  In all, I estimate that there were over 40 uses of Anticipatory Dialogue in these 20 pages -- That's two per page.  Can you see how the writers wanted to make sure we were completely engaged in the script?

BTW, you'll notice that I snipped out parts that didn't apply to this

lesson.  So don't get confused about the story.  Just pay attention to the dialogue and my notes.

Enjoy,

INT. 3RD FLOOR - DAY

ELEVATOR DOORS OPEN. The UPS Man throws the package out onto

the floor and starts kicking it down the hall like a soccer

player. With one last big kick the parcel lands in front of

APARTMENT 3B. He picks it up and knocks on the door.

We hear a small dog barking.

GRUFF MAN (O.S.)

Shut the hell up, you stupid mutt!

NOTE:  Implied Consequences.   This set of lines is here to say "Don't mess with this guy or you'll get your ass kicked."

A half page later...

INT. APARTMENT 3B - CONT'D

We see the back of the Shiatsu staring at the crack in the

front door. He has not moved an inch. The Gruff Man looks

GRUFF MAN

Hey, stupid! Get away from the door!

The dog doesn't budge and this really pisses him off. He gets up and heads for the dog.

NOTE:  Strangely enough, this is "Silence at a strange time."  Because the dog is silent, we know something is wrong.  That increases the tension and it implies the chance that Ace is going to get caught.

GRUFF MAN

What's the matter with you, I said

GIT!!!

He roughly picks the dog up by the scruff of the neck, but

it's neck is a business card that reads, "You have been had

by Ace Ventura - Pet Detective." He breathes fire.

GRUFF MAN

Son of a bitch!

NOTE:  The business card "dialogue" is a challenge.  The Gruff Man's

response here implies consequences.

He smashes the dog to the ground.

EXT. ALLEY - CONT'D

As the UPS Man/Ace rounds the corner, his shirt opens up at

his pot belly and the Shiatsu's head sticks out. Ace is

gloating.

(announcer's voice)

That was a close one, ladies and

gentlemen. Unfortunately, in every

contest, there must be...A LOOSER!