The advanced dialogue class begins later today! And I promise you

can't. Why? Because they don't know who the character is. Twenty traits

= no traits. Unless the primary trait of the character is Identity

Confusion.

You want to select 3 or 4 traits that are the absolute CORE of that

character. Those traits fit the character to a tee. Those traits show

up in their dialogue and actions constantly. Those are the traits that

your character makes decisions out of.

Once you know those traits, you should be able to predict a lot of things about that character's actions and decisions.

2. They are precise.

This is really important. Too many writers have been taught screenwriting by novel writers. "Write a ten page background on each of your characters," was the first assignment I received in my first screenwriting class. That makes so much sense because it gives you a chance to learn who your characters are and what they've been through. It especially makes sense for a novel where character is King and you can explore their inner thoughts.

But for a screenwriter who is going to write high-level dialogue, you need something else.

I was working with a writer who had written over 20 pages on each of her five lead characters. She sent them to me when I questioned some of her dialogue. The file contained 100 pages of character background for a 94 page script.

So I read one of them. As I did, I kept searching for the traits. At the end of 20 pages, I had four words written down. I called her and said "Michael is Rebellious, Strange, Driven and considers himself to be Superior to others." She had a cathartic experience, "Oh my God, you know my Michael! That's why I wrote those twenty pages."

Notice this: I didn't tell her all about Michael's background or the main events of his backstory or the inner pains that Michael experiences every day. What I did was to get precise. I looked for what was at the Core of Michael's decisions and actions. The reason she reacted so positively was because she'd never heard anyone present the Core of Michael before...not even her.

I then asked her to do the same process with each of the other characters, coming back with 4 precise words that represent the Core of each character, just like I'd done.

Here's the reason for precision.

Being precise about your characters means you really know them and it will show up throughout the script. Just remind yourself this: If you don't know the Core of your character, how will you write it...and how will anyone else know it? They probably won't.

Almost every line of a screenplay should SHOUT character in some way. If you're precise, actors will love your dialogue. If you're not, it will just be another script that goes in the trash.

3. One or more traits is demonstrated well in each line of dialogue.

If one or more of those traits shows up in Michael's dialogue throughout the script, he'll be a unique character, just like Ringo and Wyatt.

I can now go back to Michael's dialogue and look at every line. Does it

express Rebellious, Strange, Driven, or Superiority? Could it express one or more of those traits to a higher degree? If so, rewrite the line so it brings more of Michael's character to it.

That is your challenge today. You'll write a scene expressing character in every line. And remember, if you struggle in order to complete this

assignment, that means you are stretching your dialogue. You're learning something new. You're stepping into a whole new world that may cause the sale of your next script.

IT IS WORTH THE EFFORT!

Before we do that, let's look at the problems that usually keep a writer from fully expressing character in their dialogue.

But before we go any farther I'm going to discuss the two problems that

keep writers from using character traits in an effective way.

FIRST PROBLEM: Screenwriters want to be subtle and aren't bold enough

about expressing the character traits in their dialogue. It's like they

don't want anyone to be able to identify the character traits through their dialogue.

My recommendation: Go opposite that. Make it so obvious that people can't miss the character traits. Then, once you've written that draft, do a quick rewrite smoothing out and cutting back where necessary. Go to an extreme, then back it off, rather than starting subtle and then trying to expand the character.

Why? Because once your mind "knows a character," it is hard to change that character. Once you've written a "subtle character" it is ten times harder to make him or her more outrageous. But by writing outrageous characters from the beginning, you're closer to what the market wants and it is easier to tone them down to fit the rest of the script.

By doing this, you'll stretch your writing and have much stronger

characters. Just as important, every character will be unique.

SECOND PROBLEM: Character traits expressed in action aren't expressed in dialogue or traits expressed in dialogue aren't expressed in action.

I don't mean that you can't have a "shy killer." That could be a great

character. I mean that the character traits are not expressed congruently in both action and dialogue. If those traits are truly the core parts of your character, they will come out in most everything they do in some way.

RECOMMENDATION: Look at your character's traits and search for ways they can be communicated through both actions and dialogue.

EXAMPLE:

In this scene from TRAINING DAY, you'll see a phone call where a rookie cop is talking with his new boss for the first time. It's a very simple topic -- Where they're going to meet. But notice how character traits are expressed on both sides.

First, a look at the characters and their traits:

Alanzo -- Head Detective

Betraying - Sets people up and then destroys them.

Street Player

Expert/intelligent

Controlling

Jake -- Rookie

Ambitious

Innocent

Stubborn

Notice that only once did I use more than two words to explain their

traits. Normally, I'd search for a term that expresses "Sets people up and then destroys them" better. But for this example, I just want it to be clear to you that "Betraying" means "Sets people up and then destroys them."

Now, the scene.

INT. JAKE'S KITCHEN -- MORNING

The PHONE RINGS. Jake stops. Lisa answers.

Hello?

(beat, laughs)

(beat, giggles)

I will, don't worry.

Jake looks at her, wondering who the hell is making his wife

giggle so much.

He's right here.

(to Jake)

Jake. It's Alonzo.

Jake reacts, steels himself and takes the phone.

Hello?

Yessir?

On your way to roll call?

Yessir. I'm out the door right now.

ALONZO (V.O.)

Yessir?

ALONZO (V.O.)

don't go to roll call.

Yessir.

NOTE: Did you see that? Jake has four "Yessir's" in five lines and very

following what he was taught by the Police Academy, but as you'll see in the rest of the movie, staying with what the Academy taught Jake is part of his innocence and is in direct conflict with what he's learning on his first "training day" with Alonzo.

On the other hand, we just saw Alonzo demonstrate his primary character

trait -- Betraying. In very few words, he set Jake up and then betrayed

him. I know this is a very light version, but it is the exact pattern

Alonzo uses later to kill his previous boss and to set Jake up to be

murdered by gang members. When you read this script, you'll see Alonzo

betray people often and here, it showed up in a very small way in his first lines of dialogue.

ALONZO (V.O.)

There's a coffee shop at 7th and

Witmer. See you there at ten. Be in

civvies. Comfortable shoes. Got a

back-up gun? Something pocket-sized?

Nossir. Just my department issue

service pistol.

ALONZO (V.O.)

Bring it. Cuffs, too. We're gonna be

in the office all day, but who knows,

maybe we'll do some business. We're

an aggressive unit.

NOTE: Here again, Alonzo is setting Jake up. Later, we'll discover that

they're going to be in the field all day and that Jake is going to have the most difficult day of his life. But Jake is indicating that it is going to be an easy day. Why? Because that is what he does. He sets people up and then betrays them. Also, notice above the controlling trait -- telling him where to go, what to wear, what gun to bring, etc.

I know. That's why I signed up.

I want to thank you for giving me

the oppor --

-- CLICK! Alonzo hangs up. Jake too. He stands there, grabs

his nervous stomach.

NOTE: Jake jumps right into his ambitious and innocent traits and thanks Alonzo for the opportunity. What does Alonzo do? He takes action based on his character traits. He hangs up. Does that say "controlling?"

What's wrong?

Feel like it's football tryouts.

Wish it was tomorrow so I'd know

already if I made his squad or not.

NOTE: Naturally, Jake's reaction comes right from his character traits --Innocent and ambitious.

Okay, notice that in this brief phone conversation, we witnessed two traits for each character. Their other traits will show up in many of other scenes of the movie.

ASSIGNMENT:

---------------------

Create two characters and a scene where they express their character

traits. To do so, follow these instructions:

1. Create two NEW characters with 4 character traits each.

2. List the characters and their traits at the top of the page in

this manner.

Jake -- Rookie Cop

Ambitious

Innocent

Family man

Provide 4 one or two-word traits for each character. Just

like I did

with Jake here.

3. Tell us any setup that is necessary for us to understand the scene

in one or two short paragraphs. No extra character

description there.

4. Write your first draft of the scene, doing your best to express

character traits through the dialogue of both characters.

5. Go back through and look at every line of dialogue, comparing

it to traits you created earlier for that character. Wherever possible,

put more character into the dialogue.

6. Answer the question "What I learned doing this assignment

is..." and send the assignment into the group.

Deadline: 48 hours.

-----------------------------

Three quick points before you do the assignment.

A. Relax and know that is okay to send in "poor writing." What is

most important is that you go through the experience of focusing on

character traits in dialogue.

B. If you're used to the 20 page character background, give this a

shot. Don't declare failure just because you haven't done this before. It may feel uncomfortable at the beginning, but when you do the rewrite, looking at each line of dialogue and asking if it can express one or more of these traits to a higher degree, you'll probably have

breakthroughs. Personally, I can't imagine rewriting dialogue having to

remember 20 pages. It is so much easier when you're precise about the

character traits.

C. Don't write more than 4 traits. Maximum two words each. If

you have to do more, you don't know your characters well enough.

D. Try to take every line to an extreme in some way. Doing that

is good practice to stretch your dialogue and characters. Then, back it

off to fit the scene.

In almost every field I've designed training for, we found that the

exceptional performers were able to be precise about what they do, where the average performers were usually drowning in complexity and

confusion. I promise you, the more precise you become about your

characters, the better your script will be.

You have two days. If you can, I'd write that first draft today and then revisit it tomorrow with your list of character traits.

Day 3: More Character in My Dialogue, Please
The most important thing you can do with dialogue is to be

SELECTIVE. The truth is that a character can say hundreds of things

in any scene, but very few of them will have impact. You want to

select words that have the most impact.

So every day of this program will give you other strategies for

powerful dialogue. Once you have all of them and the ones from the

Great Screenwriting Series, you should be able to turn any line into

the most effective line it could be and a few lines into the most

memorable lines of the year.

While searching for ways to create even more unique and character-

oriented dialogue, I researched a psychology about Life Metaphors

and I was astounded the degree that it applied to characters and

their dialogue. Let me translate what I learned into screenwriting

language.

WORLD VIEW

Every character has a World View that influences their dialogue.

Their World View includes life metaphors, rules and strategies, and

justifications.

I had a friend when I was in High School whose World View was "Women

love outlaws." (Pardon the overtly sexist viewpoint. It came from

a High School boy.) He must have gotten it from some Western

because he constantly did imitations of the bad guy in cowboy

movies. The metaphor he operated out of was "I'm an outlaw." I

heard him say that at least 100 times. He also told the rules and

strategies for an outlaw -- Things like "An outlaw does exactly what

he wants." and "At the right moment, all I got to do is give her

the outlaw eyes and she's mine."

And if you asked him, he had twenty justifications for why "being an

outlaw" caused his success with the girls he went out with. But I

never saw him commit a crime or pull a gun. It was just a metaphor

he used to boost his confidence and give him some personality.

As I said, there is a whole psychology based on Life Metaphors.

According to it, everyone has metaphors they operate out of. Some

people live their entire lives based on certain sports. Others have

life metaphors like "knight in shining armor" or "Princess" or "life

of the party" or "victim who needs to be rescued" or "tough guy"

or "secret agent."

There are thousands of different metaphors people can operate out of

and it doesn't have to make sense to someone outside their world.

When you find out that the CEO of your company always wanted to be

an Astronaut and that's why he models the R & D division after NASA,

you may start to understand one of his life metaphors.

But what's this got to do with Characters and Dialogue?

THE MODEL:

The Life Metaphor model contains four parts:

World View: Their overview for this story. A simple

statement.

Metaphors: Life metaphors they operate out of.

Rules and strategies: What works and doesn't work in their

world.

what they do.

Why is it important to know these things? Because they often show

up in dialogue. At the oddest times, you'll hear characters

justify their metaphors, rules, strategies, and world view. In

fact, sometimes it makes the best dialogue.

When Robert Duval's character says "I love the smell of napalm in

the morning. It smells like victory.", he's justifying one of his

War strategies. Later we'll look at other reasons that is a great

Now, this brings up an important point. Three characters

experiencing the exact same thing can be operating out of very

different metaphors and world views. One may go in with a "Hero"

metaphor, a second with a "just doing my time" metaphor and the

third with a "victim of the system" metaphor. Just knowing that,

can you see how each would have different dialogue and actions?

Now, let's see this in operation in a scene from BULL DURHAM:

First, a look at Annie's Character traits. They are:

- Cosmic

- Mentor

I'll point them out in the scene below as I point out her World

View, life metaphors, rules and strategies, and justifications.

From the opening of BULL DURHAM:

A WALL COVERED WITH BASEBALL PICTURES behind a small

table covered with objects and lit candles. A baseball, an

old baseball card, a broken bat, a rosin bag, a jar of

pine tar-- also a peacock feather, a silk shawl, a picture of

Isadora Duncan. Clearly, the arrangement is-- A SHRINE -- And it glows with the candles like some religious altar.

We hear a woman's voice in a North Carolina accent.

I believe in the Church of Baseball.

(beat)

NOTE: First, notice how the very first line of dialogue does three

by giving us the first of her character traits -- cosmic -- and

showing us Annie's obsession -- baseball.

BTW, there is no "Church of Baseball." But in Annie's world,

Baseball is a religion...and that is her WORLD VIEW.

ANNIE (V.O.)

I've tried all the major religions

and most of the minor ones--I've

worshipped Buddha, Allah, Brahma,

Vishnu, Siva, trees, mushrooms, and

Isadora Duncan...

NOTE: Then, Annie backs up that statement with evidence -- a list

of things she's worshiped -- including Isadora Duncan. This is all

JUSTIFICATION for her World view.

PAN AWAY FROM THE SHRINE across the room. Late

afternoon light spills into the room, across fine old

furniture, to a small dressing table. A WOMAN applies make up.

ANNIE SAVOY, mid 30's, touches up her face. Very

pretty, knowing, outwardly confident. Words flow from her

Southern lips with ease, but her view of the world crosses

Southern, National and International borders. She's cosmic.

NOTE: If we hadn't noticed her "Cosmic" trait, the writer just gave

it to us in Annie's opening description. Often, you want to provide

the most important trait there. It helps sell the character to an

actor and gives everyone a feel for who the character is.

ANNIE (V.O. CONT'D)

I know things. For instance--

(beat)

rosary. And--

(beat)

There are 108 stitches in a baseball.

When I learned that, I gave Jesus a

chance.

(beat)

us The Lord laid too much guilt on

me. I prefer metaphysics to theology.

(beat)

metaphysics to theology. Also, notice the justification of the Lord

laying too much guilt on her. One more thing: we've now firmly

established the first of three LIFE METAPHORS that Annie lives out

of -- Metaphysics.

You see, there's no guilt in

baseball...and it's never boring.

NOTE: Another justification for her World View. Also, Baseball is

the second of the life metaphors that Annie operates out of. Much

of her dialogue in this movie comes from her speaking through this

metaphor.

ANNIE OPENS A CLOSET DOOR -- Dozens of shoes hang

from the door. She chooses a pair of RED HIGH HEELS, with

thin straps.

She sits on a bench and

Which makes It like sex.

NOTE: Next trait: Sensual. Or you may prefer "sexual," but I

think that in Annie's world, she sees herself as sensual.

(beat)

There's never been a ballplayer slept

year of his career.

NOTE: Now, we see Annie's third metaphor. Annie's metaphors are

Baseball, Metaphysics, and Sex. She lives her life through those

three metaphors. So it would be natural for her to mix them in her

dialogue.

Also, this hints about her third character trait: Mentor. She

mentors baseball players.

(beat)

Making love is like hitting a baseball--

NOTE: Now, we're getting into some of Annie's STRATEGIES.

ANNIE SLIPS ON THE RED HIGH HEELS -- Smoothing her

hands up her calves as she does.

Besides, I'd never sleep with a player

hitting under .250 unless he had a

lot of R.B.I.'s or was a great glove

man up the middle.

(BEAT)

A woman's got to have standards.

under .250.

SHE HOLDS OUR HER LEGS DISPLAYING THE HEELS, side by

side. Like a little girl showing off her new shoes.

The young players start off full of

enthusiasm and energy but they don't

realize that come July and August

when the weather is hot it's hard to

perform at your peak level.

(beat)

They finish stronger. They're great in

September.

NOTE: These lines shed some light on her strategies and they

justify her desire to have a "veteran."

(BEAT)

a man to be fulfilled, I do confess

an interest in finding the ultimate

guy--he'd have that youthful

exuberance but the veteran's sense

of timing...

NOTE: All justification for two of her life metaphors -- Baseball

and Sex.

official

Y'see there's a certain amount of

"life-wisdom" I give these boys.

(beat)

I can expand their minds. Sometimes

when I've got a ballplayer alone

I'll just read Emily Dickinson or

Walt Whitman to him. The guys are

so sweet-- they always stay and

listen.

NOTE: The final character trait -- Poetic. Although, it has

of talking. Also, notice that she just expressed another strategy.

(beat)

Of course a guy will listen to

NOTE: Back to the Sensual trait and a strategy.

ANNIE TOUCHES PERFUME BEHIND HER EARS and, ever so

slightly, in her cleavage.

I make then feel confident. They

make me feel safe. And pretty.

NOTE: Here's another Justification, although a good one. But it is

also part of why I say her second character trait is Sensual,

instead of Sexual.

ANNIE POSES IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR -- She smoothes

her dress along her hips. And puts on a flashy pair of

sunglasses. Stylish and slightly mad.

What I give them lasts a life-

time. What they give me lasts 142

games. Sometimes it seems like a

bad trade

(quickly rebounding)

but bad trades are part of baseball--