The advanced dialogue class begins later today! And I promise you

Joe scowls as Jackie appears with the tall farm boy.

   JACKIE

... in fact, you just sit comfy and

I'll cut it out with my fingernail

file. You won't even need Blue

Cross, Ratso.

   RATSO

The name is Rizzo.

(Ratso reveals an Achilles heel -- he hates his nickname and wants respect)

That's what I said, Ratso.

   JOE

(suddenly)

(Joe already feels protective of his new "friend.")

   TV DATE GIRL

I pick Number Two! He's cool!

   RATSO

That's okay, Joe. I'm used to these

types that like to pick on

cripples. Sewers're full of 'em.

(He's preying on Joe using the sympathy he earned when Jackie picked on him.)

May I ask one thing, cowboy? If you

sit there and he sits way over

there, how's he gonna get his hand

into your pocket? But I'm sure he

has that all figured out...

(to Ratso)

Good night, sweets.

(Great insight into Ratso and we've got to worry about Joe because he misses it.)

May I present your chosen mate!

The TV host pulls aside the screen which has concealed the

lower half of the three young men. Number Two, her chosen

mate, is a dwarf sitting on a high stool. The girl's

spontaneous dismay starts everyone laughing hysterically,

including the dwarf.

(Ruh-roh.  More foreshadowing.  Joe's future looks grim)

What I learned from this assignment is how much subtext can be built into one scene.  We learned a lot about each character, not just from what they said, but from what Jackie said and even from the show being played on the TV.  Despite his plans to be a hustler, it's easy to like Joe because of his generous, trusting nature, but we feel uncomfortable in this scene watching him interact with someone who so obviously is going to use his nature against him.  It sets up tension because we realize just how clueless Joe really is -- he's going to have some tough lessons to learn. 

INSIDE

plays on the jukebox.

Two men are seated in a booth at the back.  One is short,

slight, youngish.  The other man is somewhat older, and

dour.  The table in front of them is littered with empty

long-neck beer bottles.  The ashtray is full.

Anderson approaches.

I'm, uh, Jerry Lundegaard -

CONSTANT _EXPRESSION OF CHARACTER

You're Jerry Lundegaard?

ATTACK

 

JERRY

Shep said you'd be here at 7:30.

What gives, man?

ATTACK and

CONSTANT _EXPRESSION OF CHARACTER

Shep said 8:30.

COUNTER ATTACK

We been sitting here an hour.

I've peed three times already.

ATTACK

I'm sure sorry.  I - Shep told

me 8:30.  It was a mix-up, I

guess.

CONSTANT _EXPRESSION OF CHARACTER

YOUNGER MAN

Yah, you bet.  It's in the lot

there.  Brand-new burnt umber

Ciera.

Yeah, okay.  Well, siddown then.

I'm Carl Showalter and this is

my associate Gaear Grimsrud.

JERRY

all set on this thing, then?

YOUNGER MAN

wouldn't we be?

ATTACK

DELIVERY ON MULTIPLE LEVELS

JERRY

vouched for you and all.  I got

every confidence in you fellas.

COUNTER ATTACK

CONSTANT _EXPRESSION OF CHARACTER

They stare at him.  An awkward beat.

JERRY

Here's the keys -

CONSTANT _EXPRESSION OF CHARACTER

No, that's not it, Jerry.

ATTACK

CONSTANT _EXPRESSION OF CHARACTER

DELIVERY ON MULTIPLE LEVELS

JERRY

CONSTANT _EXPRESSION OF CHARACTER

The new vehicle, plus forty

thousand dollars.

ATTACK

JERRY

first, see, then the forty

thousand, like as if it was the

ransom.  I thought Shep told you -

COUNTER ATTACK

Shep didn't tell us much, Jerry.

ATTACK

PURPOSE

Well, okay, it's -

CONSTANT _EXPRESSION OF CHARACTER

Except that you were gonna be

here at 7:30.

ATTACK

Yah, well, that was a mix-up, then.

CONSTANT _EXPRESSION OF CHARACTER

Yeah, you already said that.

ATTACK

DELIVERS ON MULTIPLE LEVELS

JERRY

in-advance deal.  I give you a

brand-new vehicle in advance and -

CONSTANT _EXPRESSION OF CHARACTER

CARL

ATTACK

Okay.

I'm not gonna sit here and debate.

I will say this though:  what Shep

told us didn't make a whole lot

of sense.

ATTACK

JERRY

all worked out.

COUNTER ATTACK

CONSTANT _EXPRESSION OF CHARACTER

CARL

ATTACK

JERRY

Carl Stares.  Jerry looks blankly back.

CARL

the ransom - what eighty thousand

bucks? -  I mean, you give us

half the ransom, forty thousand,

you keep half.  It's like robbing

Peter to play Paul, it doesn't

make any -

ATTACK

JERRY

payin' the ransom.  The thing is,

my wife, she's wealthy - her dad,

he's real well off.  Now, I'm in

a bit of trouble -

COUNTER ATTACK

DELIVERS ON MULTIPLE LEVELS

PURPOSE

CARL

Jerry?

PURPOSE

JERRY

inta, inta - see, I just need

money.  Now, her dad's real

wealthy -

COUNTER ATTACK

CONSTANT _EXPRESSION OF CHARACTER

DELIVERS ON MULTIPLE LEVELS

So why don't you just ask him

for the money?

ATTACK

Grimsrud, the dour man who has not yet spoken, now softly

puts in with a Swedish-accented voice:

Or your fucking wife, you know.

ATTACK

CONSISTENT _EXPRESSION OF CHARACTER

PURPOSE

CARL

ATTACK

DELIVERS ON MULTIPLE LEVELS

PURPOSE

JERRY

they don't know I need it, see.

Okay, so there's that.  And even

if they did, I wouldn't get it.

So there's that on top, then.  See,

these're personal matters.

CONSTANT _EXPRESSION OF CHARACTER

DELIVERS ON MULTIPLE LEVELS

PURPOSE

CARL

ATTACK

Yah.  Personal matters that

needn't, uh -

CONSISTENT _EXPRESSION OF CHARACTER

CARL

to perform this mission, but you,

you won't, uh, you won't - aw,

fuck it, let's take a look at

that Ciera.

ATTACK

Dialogue scene from THE ABYSS

INT. COMMAND MODULE

 
TIGHT ON HIPPY, bathed in the light of the sonar display. He is making

kissing sounds at Beany, who has his inquisitive nose right up to Hippy's lips.

LINDSEY

Hippy, you're going to give that rat a disease.

(Shows an aspect of Lindsey’s character)

WIDER, as Hippy and Bud to see Lindsey leaning in the doorway. She and Bud size each other up. He opts for a jovial approach, his eyes wary.

Well, well. Mrs. Brigman.

(Attack) (Also, foreshadows Bud’s dialogue when Lindsey and Bud are reunited at the end of the film)

LINDSEY

Not for long.

(Counterattack)

Lindsey crossed past him, her eyes scanning the banks of equipment, almost unconsciously checking, checking... getting the pulse of her big iron baby.

You never did like being called that, did you?

(Attack)

LINDSEY

Not even when it meant something.

(looking through the front port)

Is that One Night up in Flatbed?

(Counterattack) (This is great dialogue! Not only is it poignant, but it’s clear that the relationship DID mean something. The second line also points to Lindsey’s main character trait: she’s all business.)

BUD

Who else?

(Show’s Bud’s matter-of-fact character)

Lindsey leans past Bud to the gooseneck mike on the console.

Hi, One Night, it's Lindsey.

(a setup)

INT. FLATBED

ONE NIGHT

Oh, hi, Lindsey.

(The payoff)

INT. COMMAND MODULE

Lindsey gives the sonar shack the once-over. She tweaks some knobs.

I can't believe you were dumb enough to come

  dumb, hot-rod... dumb.

(Attack) (Bud knows her -- she can be a hot-rod)

LINDSEY

Look, I didn't come down here to fight.

(Counterattack) (These two are equals -- she doesn’t disagree with him)

She crosses past Bud and exits into the corridor. Bud bolts out of the chair to follow her and Hippy scrambles in to take over.

Bud catches up with Lindsey in the corridor, and through the following keeps pace with here as she make here inspection.

Then why'd you come down?

(Attack)

She stops abruptly to look at a leaky pipe. He almost slams into her. She moves on, climbing down the ladder to the lower level.

You need me. Nobody knows the systems on this

  to go wrong after the Explorer clears off? What

  would have you done?

(Counterattack & Attack) (This is a great line because he does need her, but not for the reason she states. It also highlights the possibility of problems aboard the Explorer. Two porpoises for the price of one!)

Wow, you're right! Us poor dumb ol' boys might've

  disaster.

(Counterattack) (This shows that Bud knows he is a good ol’ boy, an essential part of his character)

On the lower level landing, Lindsey opens a hatch into one of the machine rooms. ROAR OF PUMPS AND COMPRESSORS.

Lindsey enters and moves expertly through the dark labyrinth of pipes and roaring machinery. Her eyes rove constantly over fittings, gauges, circuit panels.

(yelling)

You wanna know what I think?

(Attack)

LINDSEY

Not particularly. Jeez, look where this is set!

  Morons.

(Counterattack) (Shows Lindsey’s character and ability)

She scowls at a pressure gauge and turn a valve minutely.

I think you were worried about me.

(Attack)

LINDSEY

That must be it.

(Counterattack)

Lindsey's on the move again, and Bud scrambles through the pipes to keep up.

No, I think you were. Come on, admit it.

(Attack)

LINDSEY

I was worried about the rig. I've got over four

  years invested in this project.

(Counterattack) (This shows an essential statement of Lindsey’s characteristic of being all business. It also sets up the next two lines.)

BUD

Oh, yeah, right... and you only had three years

  with me.

(Attack)

She looks up at him.

You've got to have priorities.

(Counterattack) (This foreshadows their struggle for survival once everything goes to shit)

CUT TO:

Darkness. The door opens and Bud snaps on the light.

My bunk's the only one I can guarantee won't be

  we get there.

(Yeah, right! Everyone knows this is a foreshadowing of disaster)

Lindsey slips past him into his tiny state-room, the only private bunk on the rig. Rank had its privileges. His hand on the door is just level with her eyes. She notices his wedding ring, a massive band of pure titanium

(something your fiancee might have picked out if she had a degree from

 M.I.T.).

LINDSEY

What are you still wearing that for?

(Attack)

BUD

I don't know. Divorce ain't final. Forgot to

  take it off.

(Counterattack) (This exchange also sets up the ring, which later saves Bud’s life)

Bud stays in the doorway. Lindsey takes a heap of Bud's cloths off the

narrow bunk. Starts unconsciously straightening the room.

LINDSEY

I haven't worn mine in months.

(Attack)

BUD

Yeah, what's-his-name wouldn't like it. The

  Suit.

 

(Counterattack)

LINDSEY

Do you always have to call him that? The Suit?

  It makes you sound like such a hick. His name

  is Michael.

(Attack) (This line shows that she knows that he is not a hick, he just sounds like one)

Lindsey takes off her borrowed tennies and socks.

BUD

So what about "Michael" then... Mr. Brooks

  Brothers... Mr. BMW. You still seeing him?

(Counterattack)

LINDSEY

No, I haven't seen him in a few weeks.

(This moment of sincerity is brought to you by, “setup.” It also shows another side of Lindsey’s character)

BUD

What happened?

(Attack)

Bud, why are you doing this? It's not part of

(Counterattack)

BUD

I'll tell you what happened... you woke up one

  day and realized the guy never made you laugh.

(Attack) (Again, a statement about both their characters)

LINDSEY

You're right, Bud. It was just that simple.

  Aren't you clever? You should get your own

  show... Ask Dr. Bud, advice to the lovelorn

  from three hundred fathoms.

(Counterattack) (Also highlights the incredible environment that they are in)

She closes the watertight door, forcing him out. Locks it. She turns and throws her shoe hard against the far wall.

AAAARRRGGH!

(Character)

She flops down on the bed, sitting... staring at the wall. Her armor is gone. She looks small and vulnerable. A long beat. She reaches over to the tiny sink. Amid the clutter is a bottle of Bud's aftershave. She unscrews it and takes a sniff. Catches herself. Tosses it.

Shit.

Bud barges into the tiny head and puts some soap on his ring finger. He pulls the ring off roughly and throws it into the toilet. He reaches forward to flush. Can't do it. Now really pissed off at himself, he reaches into the toilet bowl, wrist deep in the chemical-blue water, and salvages the ring.

He puts it on and washes his hands. The right hand stays faintly blue no matter how hard he scrubs.

Shit.

(These two were made for each other! This one word also foreshadows the disaster yet to come.)

Overall, this scene is filled with great dialogue. It really establishes both Lindsey’s and Bud’s characters, as well as their relationship. Almost every line is an attack/counterattack, but it sounds natural. I also think it is very well paced. It fulfills multiple purposes, and on several occasions accomplishes that with one line. And, in the end, despite all their differences, the characters both have the same reaction. “Shit.” Good work, James!

I learned that great dialogue works with the action of a scene to create meaning beyond either the dialogue or the action in an entertaining yet natural way. I also have a deeper understanding how dialogue can be an ACTIVE _expression of character.

The captain's office is filled with pictures, books and

mugsheets.  Piles of paperwork abound, yet the office is

meticulously well kept.  The CAPTAIN, 50, sits at his tidy desk.

He wears a white shirt and conservative tie.

He's a calm man, but whenever he is not speaking, without fail,

he clenches his jaw over and over, causing the muscles in his

neck and jaw to pulse.  Somerset and Mills sit before him.

SOMERSET

The bruises were caused by the muzzle of a

forty-five.  So, there was a gun against

his head and he was given a choice.  Eat,

or get your brains blown out.

-- Note scene opens with no pleasantaries.  It jumps straight to the core of the matter with a brutally graphic description of events... just in the case the audience wasn't paying enough attention.

Somerset gets up to pace.

-- If you could, you'd get up with him, the tension is that palpable.

SOMERSET

He ate his fill, and was forced to continue

eating... till his body rejected the food.

the killer held a bucket under him, and

then kept serving.  He took his time.  The

coroner says this might have gone on for

more than twelve hours.  The victim's

throat was swollen from the effort, and

there was probably a point where he passed

out.  That's when killer kicked him in the

stomach.  Popped him.

-- Not quite a speech, but a lengthy piece of dialogue that's deliberately paced to deliver the full gore.

MILLS

This was one sadistic motherfucker.

CAPTAIN

-- Corroborates it further with a hint of levity (for those of us who think sarcasm is funny).

Somerset picks up a photocopy of the NOTE from behind the fridge.

SOMERSET

"Dear Detectives, Long is the way, and

hard, that out of hell leads up to light."

It's the murderer's way of announcing

himself.

CAPTAIN

-- Captain is speaking on behalf of the audience -- wants to be brought

into the know -- what Somerset knows... basically, a tool for exposition.

SOMERSET

wrath, greed...

CAPTAIN

So what?  This victim...

... envy, sloth, pride and lust.  Seven.

CAPTAIN

Hey, so gluttony is one of the seven deadly

But, this was a fat guy.  The killer

may have felt this was the just best way to

torture him.

And, writing on the walls happens all the

time.

-- Again, captain's sarcasm brings humor to the seriousness of the

discussion and is a counterpoint to Somerset's somberness.

SOMERSET

The captain is disgruntled, clenching his jaw, looks at Mills.