The Geisha
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Song – Molly & ChorusPoor little maiden, loves a bit of fun, Learns her propensity to rue! Just look at me! What a pretty thing I’ve done! Here’s a delightful how-de do! A precious pickle I’m in! Foolish little Molly, Punish’d for your folly. A wooden monkey climbin’ Isn’t on a stick like you! Click! Click! I’m a monkey on a stick! Any one with me can play, And my antics he’ll enjoy, Till he finds a newer toy, When he’ll wish me a polite good day! Chorus. Click, click… etc. Molly. Nobody doubts that this horrid Japanese Wives – orientally – has got! One, two, or three – or as many as you please - I won’t be added to the lot! He thinks I can’t resist him; Rolling in his riches, Fancies he bewitches, But round my thumb I’ll twist him, Whether he’s aware or not! Click! Click! He’s a monkey on a stick! Bound to let me have my way! So I’ll keep him all alive Till my English friends arrive, When I’ll wish him a polite good day! Chorus. Click, click… etc. Dance, and exeunt ALL. Enter Wun-Hi and Juliette. They are both shabby and look down in the world. Wun-Hi. What we do now? Tea House gone – licence gone – girlee gone – me gone off my upper crust! I hopee Marquis take pitee on poor ruined Chinaman! Juliette. And poor ruined French girl! Wun-Hi. It makee no matter you – you very well, thank you. You not losee a Tea House licence! Juliette. No, but I’ve lost a lot of other things! Wun-Hi. Now, Marquis, he very fond of girlee – Chinee girlee…. Japanese girlee… English girlee. Marquis he very cosmopolitan. Juliette. If only I could get the English girl back to her friends, they would pay me well. Wun-Hi. I helpee you with Marquis – then English officer givee me plenty much large size lump money. Then you partners with Wun-Hi, and we start new Tea House. Juliette. I don’t want a silly Tea House! I want a palace! Wun-Hi. Me givee you palace – a coffee palace! Palais de Danse! Juliette. I don’t want a coffee palace. (Aside) But I do want to know how to get the Marquis. (To Wun-Hi.) Can you teach me how? Wun-Hi. No, not teachee you much! Duet – Juliette and Wun-HiJuliette. When I want anything done, I try my favourite plan, I weedle and coax, And flatter the folks, As only a French girl can. If ever I chanced on one Who won’t be coaxed by me, I peep and pry, And I work on the sly - Comprenez-vous ca? Wun-Hi. Wee! Wee! Both. Oh, chi-kee-hi-kee ching-a-ring-a-ree! The smart French girl and the cute Chinee! Monsieur, Mam’selle Suite very very well, So sing Ching-a-ring Ching-a-ring-a-ring-a-ree! Wun-Hi. When me want gettee my way, Keep muchee open eyes; For Chinaman mild, Him welly sharp child - Tell plenty big whopper lies! Juliette. Together we’ll work to-day, You’re just the man for me! A girl never jibs At a few little fibs – Comprenez-vous ca? Wun-Hi. Wee! Wee! Both. Oh, chi-kee-hi-kee ching-a-ring-a-ree! etc. Dance. After duet, enter Imari from Palace. Imari. What is all this noise? How dare you intrude here without permission? Wun-Hi. Me didn’t mean to protrude. Imari. You are the sort of Chinese puzzle I’d like to take to pieces and never put together again. Hullo, French girl, what are you doing here? Juliette. Nothing! Imari. Then don’t do it! Juliette. I came to see if the Most Extraordinary Marquis would give me something to do. Imari. Come off my chrysanthemums! (Bus.) Wun-Hi. Most Noble… Imari. I will not! Wun-Hi. Most Monumental – more More Noble than usual – Greatee Marquis, listen! Givee back Wun-Hi Tea-House… Imari. Don’t bother me now. I have a very busy day before me. First of all, there’s the reception – that will keep me busy – then there’s the banquet, that will keep me very busy – then there’s the wedding – that will keep me very very busy! Juliette. The Chinaman will be useful to you at the wedding. Imari. So he might. Come here. (Bus.) It is his business to provide entertainments. (To Wun-Hi) Look here, you puppy-snatching heathen, I will give you a chance. You shall be allowed to look after the geisha at my reception and see that they do their best – you will be paid nothing! Wun-Hi. Thank you very most muchee, me do my best at the price! Exit Imari into Palace, followed by Wun-Hi and Juliette. Enter Fairfax and Officers. Quartette – Fairfax and OfficersFairfax. Half round the world we’ve been, my boys, On pleasure and on duty, At ev’ry port we’ve known the joys Of some bewitching beauty! Cunningham. The simple maid from sunny France, Who blush’d and seemed to falter, The Spanish girl we met by chance When strolling through Gibraltar. Bronville. Give me a girl from any clime, And I’ll adore her for a time! All. Jolly young Jacks are we, Merry of heart and gay! Sons of the rolling sea, Homage to beauty pay. What if her eyes are dark? What if her eyes are blue? Beauty is fair, ev’rywhere, If Beauty’s the girl for you! Fairfax. We’ve seen all sorts of sizes, too, Some rather quaintly dress’d ones; But give me eyes of English blue, Believe me, they’re the best ones! Cunningham. That Chinese girl I couldn’t stand With feet of small dimensions, Or Gretchen from the Fatherland. Who ask’d us our intentions. Grimston. Well, any you don’t care about Pass on to me – I’ll take them out! All. Jolly young Jacks are we, etc. Enter Lady Constance and Girls. Marie. We can’t find Molly anywhere! Lady C. Now let me explain. When we left the Tea House yesterday we went into the city to the hotel; she didn’t come so we thought she had gone straight to the yacht, but she hadn’t! Fairfax. She hadn’t! We must go at once to the British Consul and the police. Ethel. And frighten him with your ship and guns. Stanley. We can’t bring a ship and guns to a garden party. Lady C. Ah! The Marquis Imari is chief of the police here. I’m going to see him at once. (Goes towards Palace.) Enter Juliette from Palace. Juliette. The English visitors! Ah, you have come to find your friend Miss Molly? Lady C. Yes, where is she? Juliette. She is here – in the Palace. Lady C. Here? I knew she was invited to the wedding with the rest of us – but – Juliette. (Laughs) Invited to the wedding? She is the wedding! Lady C. The what? Juliette. (In mock respectful tones) The most Miraculous Marquis has chosen her for his bride. (Makes Japanese salutation) They form a group and talk excitedly. Fairfax. His bride? The Marquis Imari is not going to marry this English lady! Cunningham. Of course not. Lady C. I’ll see the Marquis and tell him that we shall take her away at once. Juliette. He will not be frightened. Japanese are not frightened even of earthquakes. Fairfax. It is ridiculous! Juliette. But it is not ridiculous! The Marquis has permission from the Government to marry a geisha. Fairfax. Yes, I know that, and Lady Constance bought her away from him. But tell me about Miss Seamore. Juliette. Lady Constance bought Mimosa, but there was another geisha – the one who sang the song… (Bus.) Fairfax. Yes, yes, I remember her – very clever, she was! Juliette. Well, she was your Miss Seamore. Fairfax. Molly Seamore? Juliette. Yes, she did it because you made her jealous of Mimosa. And the most marvellous Marquis bought her; and he is going to marry her to-day. Fairfax. What nonsense! Juliette. Marriage is not nonsense! Bus. Juliette kisses Stanley and exits. Stanley. Well, these French girls are d…d cheeky! Lady C. Tommy, you are a lucky little devil! I’ll find that Marquis – he won’t think himself quite so marvellous when I’ve done with him. (Exit. Bus. with parasol which turns inside out when she opens it.) Officers and Ladies stroll off, except Cunningham, Fairfax and Stanley. Cunningham. Do you know, I believe this girl, Reggie? I think we ought to see to this at once. Fairfax. Nonsense! It’s only them trying to frighten us again. I don’t believe a word of it! Cunningham. Well, I do. We don’t know the laws of Japan, and Molly may be in danger. Fairfax. Well, we’ll go and see about it at once. Come along, Stanley. (Exit with Stanley.) Cunningham. (After everyone has made their exit) That’s the worst of Reggie, he will stand and argue. (Looking around stage) If there is anything that I hate, it is the man that stands and argues! (Exit) Enter Mimosa, carrying parasol. Mimosa. I wonder where the English lady is? She has been very kind to Mimosa, and has given me some advice too about my officer gentleman. (Laughs) English ladies are very clever, but Japanese girls know as much as they do about foreign officers! |