The Geisha
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Song – MimosaA small Japanese Once sat at her ease In a garden cool and shady, When a foreigner gay Who was passing that way, Said “May I come in, young lady?” So she opened her gate, And I blush to relate That he taught Japan’s fair daughter To flirt and kiss Like the little white Miss Who lives o’er the Western water! He call’d her the Jewel of Asia – of Asia – of Asia, But she was the Queen of the Geisha – the Geisha – the Geisha; So she laughed, “Though you’re ready to-day, sir, To flirt when I flutter my fan, Tomorrow you’ll go on your way, sir, Forgetting the girl of Japan!” But when he came back (Alas and alack!) To that garden cool and shady, The foreigner bold Was decidedly cold And talked of an English lady. With his heart in a whirl For the little white girl, He declar’d how much he missed her, And forgot – if you please! – His poor Japanese, For he never even kissed her! But she was the Jewel of Asia – of Asia – of Asia, The beautiful Queen of the Geisha – the Geisha – the Geisha; And she laughed, “It is just as they say, sir, You love for as long as you can, A month or a week or a day, sir, Will do for a girl of Japan.” Exit. Enter Fairfax and Wun-Hi. Fairfax. Go away! Go away! Wun-Hi. But me wantee to hold a little conversation with you! Fairfax. Then go and hold it with someone else. Wun-Hi. Very well, Most Noble Lieutenant. Me was going to tell you that little English girlee was going to be married, but me won’t now! Fairfax. What are you talking about? Wun-Hi. Little Miss Sealess. Fairfax. What name did you say? Wun-Hi. Little Miss Sealess. Fairfax. How do you spell it? Wun-Hi. Me don’t know – me can’t spell in the daytime, me only went to a night school. Your friend, little Miss Sealess. Fairfax. Don’t know the lady! Wun-Hi. You don’t know? Fairfax. No. Wun-Hi. You very opaque – your English girlee friend – your intended – your fiasco – me see – me see you very intimacious with her. Fairfax. Do you mean Miss Seamore? Wun-Hi. Yes, Miss Seamore or less – she got a lot of needles with you. Fairfax. What for? Wun-Hi. Me think because she know you flirt with little Mimosa. Fairfax. Oh, humbug! Wun-Hi. Well, perhaps you are. Me don’t know. Fairfax. What? Wun-Hi. Well, me was going to tell you she was going to be married. Fairfax. I know she’s going to be married – bless her! Wun-Hi. Yes, bless her! Fairfax. What’s that? Wun-Hi. Well, can’t me split a bless with you – me going to be her best man – she going to marry Marquis – he worst man. Fairfax. What? (Takes Wun-Hi by the throat and shakes him violently) Wun-Hi. Allo lightee, you agitate gentleman. You give me heartipation of the pulpit. What for you shake hands with my Adam’s apple? You’ve injured my borax. She going to mally Marquis that belongee velly great honour! Fairfax. That’s his little game, is it? I’ll soon put a stopper on that! Wun-Hi. Me not so sure you stoppee Marquis – he play one dammee good game! Fairfax. Never mind about that. I want to find Miss Seamore. Wun-Hi. You wantee little girlee. Wun-Hi thinkee he can helpee you, and he will, too, if you give him some tempitations. (Twiddles thumbs.) Fairfax. What are you doing that for? Wun-Hi. Me have “tiddledums” (Bus. holds out hand and twists it round.) Fairfax. Oh well, here you are. (Hands Wun-Hi money. Wun-Hi tries it with his teeth – bus.) Her, stop, you’ll break your teeth! Wun-Hi. Me rather breakee teeth than get a wrong ‘un. Fairfax. Oh, that’s all right. Wun-Hi. I daresay it is, but me seen sailor men before. Now listen to Wun-Hi. Miss Seamore put on Japanesy clothes in Wun-Hi Tea House. Fairfax. That’s a lie to start with! Wun-Hi. It’s nothing to what I’ll finish with. Me get into Palace, have palaverer with Marquis and bring little English girlee back to you. Fairfax. How can you do that? Wun-Hi. Me thinkee me tell you how if you give me some more tempitations. Fairfax. Very well, now this is the last. (Bus. drop coins. Wun-Hi goes after it between Fairfax’s legs.) Wun-Hi. You all over feet like a centipede. (Bus.) Me love the very ground you stand on. Fairfax. I’ve no doubt you do. Wun-Hi. Though lost to sight – to memory dear! (Bus. of kicking coins to Wun-Hi.) Thank you Most Noble Admiral. Now listen to Wun-Hi. Marquis, he invite Wun-Hi to wedding. Wun-Hi, he see English Missee, she see Wun-Hi, fall in love with me at first sight. Fairfax. What? Wun-Hi. Don’t blame her, it’s my fault. My fatal beauty. Me not want her for myself, and give her to sailor man. You live happy ever afterwards to be continued in our next. I have speeched. (Bus. smoking pipe.) Fairfax. Yes, you have, and talked nonsense! But if you see Miss Seamore and tell her that we are here and will see that no harm comes to her, that will help. Can you do it? Wun-Hi. Yes, me do everything if you givee me hundred tempitations. Fairfax. No, thanks. I’ve been in your country and I won’t trust a Chinaman. Wun-Hi. You no trustee me – very well – you midshipmite. Me go away chop, chop! (Turns up L) Fairfax. Here, come back, you fungus! Wun-Hi. (Comes down) You velly pretty talker, first of all you doubted me velacity, now my fungosities! Fairfax. Oh, that’s all very well, I’ve heard that sort of thing before. (Bus. umbrella, pushing Wun-Hi towards Palace.) Wun-Hi. Oh, no, indeedee, nothing of the samee. Sailor man no trustee Chinaman – Chinaman no trustee sailor man – me wantee tempitatios first! Fairfax. How much is it in English money? Wun-Hi. Me think about three – about three pound flimsy money papers. Bus. Fairfax drops one note – Wun-Hi places foot over it and takes it up, than starts dancing a Scotch Reel. Fairfax. What are you doing? Wun-Hi. Me got licensed Victually Dance. Me often taken like that, me can’t help it, you see, me comee of Scottish descent. (Bus.) Fairfax. But that’s not Scottish. Wun-Hi. Yes, real Scotch – Scotch Reel. Fairfax. To be real Scotch you must do it first on one leg and then on the other. Wun-Hi. Me only one leg, me Scotch only on the mother’s side. (Exit) Fairfax. Molly, my Molly, if I could only find her! How can I wait when the girl I love is in danger! |