The Geisha
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Song – Molly and ChorusMolly. A parrot once resided in a pretty gilded cage, Sarcastic was his temper and uncertain was his age, He knew that two canaries had apartments overhead, Who’d only very recently been wed. Chorus. They’d recently been wed. Molly. He kept an eye on all that they were doing – Chorus. An interfering parrot in a nasty frame of mind. Molly. And vow’d he stop their billing and their cooing- Chorus. Which really was exceedingly unkind. Exceedingly unkind. Molly. Polly wink’d his eye and Polly gave a sigh, And Polly took his best hat down; He called on Mrs. C. and took a cup of tea When Mr. C. had gone to town. Then wisely shook his head And seriously said: (All this is spoken through the music imitating a parrot.) “Well, husbands are a lot! A pretty one you’ve got! Such tales I never heard! So dissolute a bird I never met before, What goings on! Oh lor!” Chorus. Polly wink’d his eye, etc. Molly. He left the poor canary with her spirits rather low, And when she got her husband home her tongue began to go. In vain he tried caresses and attempted to deny - The silly little girl began to cry. Chorus. The bird began to cry. Molly. She told him that she knew he loved another – Chorus. A shocking accusation for a little bird to make! Molly. And said she meant to go and see her mother, Chorus. A very silly step for her to take! A silly step to take. Molly. Polly wink’d his eye and Polly gave a sigh, And Polly took his best hat down; He knew there’d be a fuss so jumping on a bus He called on Mr. C. in town. Then wisely wagged his head And seriously said: “A pretty wife you’ve got! I see you had it hot, And, bless her heart, it’s true, She’s just as bad as you! Directly you are gone, Oh, don’t she carry on!” Chorus. Polly wink’d his eye, etc. Molly. Canary’s yellow countenance with jealousy was green, And when he met his wife they had a nice domestic scene, Till she with pocket handkerchief, and he with sullen scowl They hurried off to Mr. Justice Owl. Chorus. To Mr. Justice Owl! Molly. He granted a judicial separation, Chorus. And all because of Polly’s unsubstantiated words! Molly. And now they live in icy isolation Chorus. Two really very wretched little birds Two wretched little birds! Molly. Polly wink’d his eye and Polly gave a sigh, And Polly bought a special “Sun.” He read the full report of what occurr’d in Court And chuckled at the mischief done. Then going off to bed Contentedly he said: “Thank goodness that’s all right! I’ll get some sleep to-night A thing I cannot do When lovers bill and coo! They won’t annoy a soul, Poor Polly! Scratch a poll! Chorus. Polly wink’d his eye, etc. General exit. Enter 2 Guards, followed by Wun-Hi carrying a basket. Guards take up positions R and L of the Palace. Wun-Hi. (Trying to pass them) All alightee, all alightee, me going into Palace with little English missie’s clothes… (Guards bar entrance) Soldier wantee something? – p’laps terrible soldier mannee me give you one dollar – Guards. No! Wun-Hi. Two dollars – Guards. No! Wun-Hi. Three – Guards. (Loudly) No!! Wun-Hi. Oh, the velly expensive soldier mannee, me givee you English curly paper. (Pulls £5 note out of his pocket) No, me not wantee it myself, me leave it on the ground for soldier mannee. (Puts it on ground in front of them, turns his back to them, turns round suddenly) But me tearee half-a-crown off for taxi-mannee. (Tears corner off note, turns back again.) Guards take tow steps towards note, Wun-Hi runs between them up steps of Palace, then back, picks up note, and runs between them again into Palace; they are always one step behind him. Music: Japanese March. Enter Takemini with cups on tray. Takemini. (Comes down) The wedding ceremony will now take place – the most exalted bride and her ladies. Enter 4 Attendants, followed by Chorus Ladies. Enter Nami and Juliette. Enter Molly, under canopy, borne by 4 Geisha, who keep close to her and won’t let her get away. Molly. (Pushes Geisha aside) Here, let me get out of this! I don’t want an umbrella, it isn’t raining. (Escapes and turns to Takemini, and takes one of the cups.) I say, what’s this? Takemini. Cup of saki, which you will drink with your illustrious bridegroom. Molly. Drink it yourself, I’m not thirsty. (Takes cup and pours it over Takemini’s head. Takemini goes up stage.) Enter Mimosa. Mimosa. Little English girl! Molly. Oh, it’s you! Mimosa. Your English friends are here! Molly. Where? Enter English Party, headed by Fairfax and Officers. Fairfax. My Molly at last! (Embrace) Enter Lady Constance. Lady C. The marriage will take place in a few minutes and Molly seems as far off as ever! Mimosa, have you done nothing? Mimosa. (Pointing) English lady can see for herself. Lady C. Molly! (Embrace.) During this Mimosa has beckoned Juliette on, and whispered to her, gesticulating and pointing to canopy. Slight commotion in Chorus as they know Imari is coming. Takemini goes up. Mimosa. (To Juliette) Now’s your chance! Go under that! (Takes her to canopy.) Juliette. (Going to canopy) A Marquise at last! Takemini. (Coming down) The Most Illustrious Bridegroom! Enter Imari, attended by Guards and Katana. Chorus Men enter. Imari. (Advancing) Now let the ceremony proceed at once! (To Takemini) Give me the cups! (He takes a cup in each hand and beckons to Geisha who advance with canopy. Juliette advances under it.) Come here, my bride! (Gives her cup) Drink this and you will be my wife! Juliette. (Puts out her hand, takes cup, drinks) I will make a most charmante bride, cher Marquis! Imari. (Starting) Who’s this? Juliette appears, goes on her knees to him. Mimosa. The French Mousme, who will make the Most Noble Marquis a most perfect wife. Imari. (Seriously) No, I’m going to marry little Roli-Poli. There’s some mistake here. Molly. Yes, Marquis, you made the mistake. I don’t want to be one of twenty, you naughty old man – I want a young man of my own. You thought I’d marry a Japanese Marquis, when I can get an English sailor? Imari. (Looking at Juliette) Well, I’m rather disappointed. I suppose every man is disappointed in his wife at some time or other. Mimosa. (To Fairfax) But Lieutenant Officer will never be disappointed with his little wife. (To Katana) And no more will my Katana. (To Lady Constance) And you see, good English lady, everybody is happy and all because you were so kind to the Japanese Geisha! FinaleBefore our eyes The prospect lies Of rich and festive fare, With cups of sake rare To toast the happy pair. No wonder then That maids and men Unite in Hymen’s praise, And sing their joyous lays With blushes all ablaze. Happy Japan, Garden of glitter! Flower and fan Flutter and flitter, Land of bamboo, (Juvenile whacker) Porcelain too, Tea-tray and lacquer! Happy Japan, Happy Japan, Happy Japan! CURTAINAPPENDIXSONG – IMARIImari. Then come and join the beautiful feast It isn’t the time to tarry. Chorus. It isn’t the time to tarry. Imari. For all the best of West and of East Is spread on the day I marry. Chorus. Is spread on the day I marry. Imari. So follow me in and lift the latch, And drink good health to the present match, And clear the board with a happy despatch, That isn’t a hari-kari! Chorus. That isn’t a hari-kari! Imari. Then merrily pour a glass of champagne, I’ve tried it before, I’ll try it again, I’ll try it As diet, I’ll try it I’ll try it again! Chorus. He’ll try it as diet – he’s tried it before, And he’ll try it again, and he’ll try it, he’ll try it again! Imari. Perhaps you British think me a brute, In your manner philanthropic. Chorus. In your manner philanthropic. Imari. At present I must decline dispute On the marriage problem topic. Chorus. On the marriage problem topic. Imari. I grant experience may have shown, That taking one wife and one alone Is very well in the temperate zone, But I am a trifle tropic! Chorus. But I am a trifle tropic! Imari. From having one more why should I refrain, I’ve done it before, I’ll do it again, I’ll do it Go thro’ it, I’ll do it I’ll do it again! Chorus. He’ll do it, go thro’ it - he’s done it before, And he’ll do it again, and he’ll do it, he’ll do it again! Imari. For why should a dainty English girl A silly young British kiss - Chorus. A silly young British kiss - Imari. When she can marry a belted Earl Or a most magnificent “Mar-kiss”? Chorus. Or a most magnificent “Mar-kiss”? Imari. She may be skittish and make a scene, But I shall smile in a style serene, And she will be as the rest have been, As willing as any Barkis. Chorus. As willing as any Barkis. Imari. For when I adore, it is not in vain, I’ve been there before, I’m going again, I’m going So knowing, I’m going I’m going again! Chorus. He’s going so knowing – he’s been there before, And he’s going again, and he’s going, he’s going again! Imari. I’m going, I’m going, I’m going again! Extra Verse
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