The nun sanctified by the virtues of her state
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| So the soul that commits a fault, being purified by repentance, is made more pleasing in the eyes of God than she was before her transgression. To teach them to distrust themselves, and to confide only in him, God who are not well grounded in humility, to fall into some defect. When, then, dear sister, you commit a fault, endeavor to repair it immediately by an act of love and of sorrow; resolve to amend, and redouble your confidence in God; say with St. Catharine of Genoa: " Lord, this is the fruit of my garden; if Thou dost not protect me I shall be guilty of still more grievous offences; but I purpose to avoid this fault for the future, and with the aid of Thy grace, I hope to keep this resolution." Should you ever relapse, act always in the same manner, and never abandon the resolution of becoming a saint. IV. Should you ever see another commit some grievous sin, take care not to indulge in pride, nor to be surprised at her fall; but pity her misfortune, and trembling for yourself, say with holy David: Unless the Lord had been my helper, my soul had almost dwelt in hell 1 If the Almighty had not been my protector, I should at this moment be buried in hell. Beware of even taking vain complacency in the exemption from faults that you perceive in your companions; otherwise, in chastisement of your pride the Lord will permit you to fall into the sins which they have committed. Cassian relates 2 that a certain young monk, being for a long time molested by a violent temptation to impurity, sought advice and consolation from an aged Father. Instead of receiving encouragement and comfort he was loaded with reproaches. "What!" said the old man, " is it possible that a monk should be subject to so abominable thoughts?" In punishment of his pride the Almighty permitted the Father to be assailed by the spirit of impurity to such a degree that he ran like a madman through the monastery. 1" Nisi quia Dominus adjuvit me, paulo minus habitasset in inferno anima mea." Ps. xciii. 17. 108
2 Collat. 2, c. 13. Hearing of his miserable condition, the Abbot Appollo told him that God had permitted this temptation to punish his conduct towards the young monk, and also to teach him compassion for others in similar circumstances. The Apostle tells us that in correcting sinners we should not treat them with contempt, lest God should permit us to be assailed by the temptation to which they yielded, and perhaps to fall into the very sin which we were surprised to see them commit. We should, before we reprove others, consider that we are as miserable and as liable to sin as our fallen brethren. Brethren, if any man be overtaken in a fault . . . instruct such a one in the spirit of meekness, considering thyself lest thou also be tempted. 1 The same Cassian relates 2 that a certain abbot called Machete confessed that he himself had miserably fallen into three faults, of which he had rashly judged his brethren. V. Consider yourself the greatest sinner on this earth. They who are truly humble, because they are most perfectly enlightened by God, possess the most perfect knowledge, not only of the divine perfections, but also of their own miseries and sins. Hence, notwithstanding their extraordinary sanctity, the saints, not in the language of exaggeration, but in the sincerity of their souls, called themselves the greatest sinners in the world. Thus St. Francis of Assisi called himself the worst of sinners; St. Thomas of Villanova was kept in a state of continual fear and trembling by the thought of the account he was one day to render to God of his life; which, though full of virtue, appeared to him very wicked. St. Gertrude considered it a miracle that the earth did not open under her feet and swallow her up alive, in punishment of her sins. 1 " Fratres, et si praeoccupatus fuerit homo in aliquo delicto, . . . hujusmodi instruite in spiritu lætatis, considerans teipsum, ne et tu tenteris." Gal. vi. i. 2 De cœnob. inst. 1. 5, c. 30. St. Paul, the first hermit, was in the habit of exclaiming: "Woe to me, a sinner, who am unworthy to bear the name of a monk." In the writings of Father M. Avila we read of a person of great sanctity who besought the Lord to make known to her the state of her soul. Her prayer was heard; and so deformed and abominable was the appearance of her soul, though stained only with the guilt of venial sins, that, struck with horror, she cried out: " For mercy’s sake, O Lord, take away from before my eyes the representation of this monster!" VI. Beware, then, of ever preferring yourself to any one. To esteem yourself better than others, is abundantly sufficient to make you worse than all. "Others," says Tritemius, " you have despised; you have therefore become worse than others."1 Again to entertain a high opinion of your own deserts, is enough to deprive you of all merit. Humility consists principally in a sincere conviction that we deserve only reproach and chastisement. If, by preferring yourself to others, you have abused the gifts and graces which God has conferred upon you, they will only serve for your greater condemnation at the hour of judgment. But it is not enough to abstain from preferring yourself to any one; it is, moreover, necessary to consider yourself the last and worst of all your sisters in religion. First, because in yourself you see with certainty so many sins; but the sins of others you know not, and their secret virtues, which are hidden from your eyes, may render them very dear in the sight of God. You ought to consider also, that by the aid of the lights and graces which you have received from God you should at this moment be a saint. Ah ! had they been given to an infidel, he would perhaps have become a seraph, and you are still so miserable and full of defects. 1" Cæteros contempsisti ; cæteris pejor factus es," The consideration of your ingratitude, should be sufficient to make you always regard yourself as a fit object of scorn to the whole Community: for, as St. Thomas 1 teaches, the malice of sin increases in proportion to the ingratitude of the sinner. Hence one of your sins may be more grievous in the sight of God than a hundred sins of another less favoured than you have been. But you know that you have already committed many sins; that your life has been one continued series of voluntary faults; and that whatever good you may have done is so full of imperfection and of self-love, that it is more deserving of punishment than of remuneration. VII. All these considerations ought to inspire you with the sentiments of humility which St. Mary Magdalene de Pazzi inculcated on her spiritual children, with a continual sense of your unworthiness to kiss the ground on which your sisters walk. You ought to consider that, had you received all imaginable insults, and were you confined in the bottom of hell, under the feet of all the damned, all this would be but little in comparison with what you deserve. And therefore, from the bottomless abyss of your own miseries you should continually cry out, with holy David: Incline unto my aid, O God ; O Lord, make haste to help me. 2 Lord, hasten to my assistance, otherwise I am lost, and shall offend Thee more than ever, and more than all sinners. But this prayer must be repeated continually almost every moment in the choir, in the cell, in going through the monastery, at the grate, at table, at rising, and 109 going to sleep. You must cry out: " Assist me, O Lord ! assist me: Lord have mercy on me." At the very moment you cease to invoke the divine aid you may become the most wicked monster in creation. 1 I 2, q. 73, a. 10. 2 " Deus, in adjutorium meum intende; Domine, ad adjuvandum me festina." Ps. Ixix. I. Shun, as death itself, every, even the most trifling, act or thought of pride. I conclude with that great saying of St. Bernard: "In the soul no humiliation, however great, is to be feared; but the least elation is to be regarded with horror." 1 Yes; for the smallest degree of arrogance may lead us into every evil. Prayer. O God of my soul ! I thank Thee for making me feel that whatever the world esteems is all folly. Give me grace to detach my heart from all creatures before death separates me from them. Unhappy me, who have been so many years in Thy house ; I have left the world to become a saint, and till now, what progress have I made ? Alas ! how many disgusting wounds do I see in my soul ! My Jesus, have pity on me and heal me. Thou art able and willing to heal me if I consent to a change of life. Yes, Lord, I desire to amend. If the sinner repent, Thou hast promised to forget his wickedness. That if the wicked do penance…….I will not remember all his iniquities. 2 I am sorry, O my God, above all things for having despised Thy love : forget, then, O Lord, all the displeasure I have given Thee. For the future I desire to lose my life sooner than give Thee the smallest offence. My God, I desire to love Thee; if I do not love Thee, whom shall I love? Thou art most worthy of my love: Thou hast called me to religion. Thou hast loaded me with Thy grace. Thou alone, therefore, dost merit all my love ; Thee alone do I desire to love. My Queen and my great advocate, Mary, assist me by Thy intercession, that I may be no longer ungrateful to Thy Son. III. Humility of the Heart or of the Will. Humility of the intellect consists, as we have seen, in esteeming one s self worthy of reproach and scorn: but humility of the will consists in desiring to be despised by others, and in taking pleasure in contempt. The latter is the most meritorious; because acts of the will are more pleasing to God than acts of the intellect. 1" In anima, non cst timenda quantalibet humiliatio; horrendum autem minima vel minima erectio." in Cant. s. 37. 2 " Si autem impius egerit pœnitentiam, . . . omnium iniquitatum ejus . . . non recordabor." Ezck., xviii. 21.. Speaking of humility of the will, St. Bernard says: " The first degree is, not to wish for power; the second, to wish to be in a state of subjection to authority; the third is, in subjection to bear injuries with equanimity."1Such is the humility of the heart which Jesus Christ wished to teach us by his own example. Learn of me, said the Redeemer, because I am meek and humble of heart. 2 Many have humility on their tongue, but not in their heart. " They, indeed," says St. Gregory, " confess with their lips that they are most wicked and most deserving of all sorts of chastisement; but they believe not what they say. For, when rebuked, they give way to disquietude, and deny that they are guilty of the fault for which they are corrected." To this class belonged a certain monk, who, as Cassian 3 relates, used to say that he was a great sinner, and unworthy to breathe the breath of life. But when the Abbot Serapion corrected him for violating the Rule by idle visits to the cells of the other monks, he became greatly troubled. Seeing him disturbed, the abbot said: " Why, my son, are you so much disquieted ? Hitherto you have called yourself a great sinner, and now you cannot bear from me a charitable admonition." Even in convents we sometimes find similar examples of haughty religious. Certain nuns proclaim that they are the most wicked of sinners, that they deserve a thousand hells. But should the abbess or a sister in religion point out to them any particular fault, or speak of their general tepidity, or of the little edification which they give to the Community, they immediately begin to vindicate their conduct, and in a tone of fretfulness exclaim: What evil or scandal have you seen in my conduct ? You would do your duty much better by correcting the others who are guilty of faults that I never commit. 1 " Primus profectus, nolle dominari; secundus, velle subjici; tertius, in ipsa subjectione, quaslibet injurias illatas sequanimiter pati." De Divers, s. 60. 2 " Discite a me quia mitis sum et humilis corde." Matt. xi. 29. 3 Collat. 18, c. II. A little before they confessed that their sins merited a thousand hells, and now they cannot bear a word of admonition. Such religious possess, indeed, humility in words, but know not the humility recommended by Jesus Christ, which is the humility of the heart. There is, says the Holy Ghost, one that humbleth himself wickedly, and his interior is full of deceit.1 There are some who humble themselves, not from desire of being rebuked and despised, but through a motive of being esteemed humble and of being praised for their humility. But, according to 110 St. Bernard, 2 to seek praise from voluntary humiliations is not humility, but the destruction of humility, for it changes humility itself into an object of pride. Speculative humility, says St. Vincent de Paul, presents a very beautiful aspect; but practical humility, because it is nothing else than the love of abjection and contempt, is an object of horror to flesh and blood. Hence St. John Climacus observes that the proof of true humility consists, not in confessing our own sinfulness, but in rejoicing in the contempt due to sinners. " Self-disparagement," says the saint, " is good, but to confirm the dispraise which others cast upon us, not to resent it but to delight in it, is still better." 3 "When," says St. Gregory, " the humble man calls himself a sinner, he does not contradict others who say the same of him." 4 1" Est qui nequiter humiliatæ, et interiora ejus plena sunt dolo." Ecclus xix. 23. 2 In Cant. s. 16. 3 Scal. par. gr. 21. 4"Cum se peccatorem dicit, id de se dicenti etiam alteri non contradicit " Mor. 1. 22, c. 14, No; when reproved for his faults he reasserts his own sinfulness. In a word, as St. Bernard says, " The truly humble man wishes, indeed, to be held in little estimation, but desires not to be praised for his humility." Instead of seeking to be esteemed for his humility he wishes to be regarded as a man deserving of contempt and full of imperfections; and because he deems himself worthy only of abjection, he delights in the humiliations which are heaped upon him. Hence, as St. Bernard teaches, " he converts humiliation into humility;" 2 and all the humiliations that he receives only serve to render him more humble. St. Joseph Calasanctius used to say that " he who loves God seeks not to be reputed a saint, but to attain sanctity." If, dear sister, you wish to acquire true humility of heart, you must: I. In the first place, shun all self-praise, whether it regards your own actions, talents, virtues; the nobility, wealth, or connections of your family. Let another praise thee, says the wise man, and not thy own mouth? Self- praise never fails to earn the contempt, but seldom wins the respect of others. What would you say or think of a nun who would extol the respectability of her family, or who would boast of having better claims than her sisters to certain offices ? Remember that if you indulge in empty boasting, others will say and think of you what you would say and think of her. In speaking of your own concerns, seek always to humble and never to exalt yourself. Self-dispraise can do you no injury; but the smallest portion of unmerited self-commendation may be productive of great evil. 1 "Verus humilis vilis vult reputari, non humilis prædicari." In Cant. s. 1 6. 2 "Humiliationem convertit in humilitatem."In Cant. s. 34. 3 "Laudet te alienus, et non os tuum." Prov. xxvii. 2. “To extol yourself slightly above your deserts is," says St. Bernard, " a great evil." 1 He who in passing through a door bends his head more than is necessary, is free from all danger of injury; but he who carries it too high may be seriously hurt. Be careful, then, to speak of yourself humbly rather than boastingly, and to disclose your faults rather than your virtues. The best rule is, never to speak well or ill of yourself, but to regard yourself as unworthy to be even named in conversation. It frequently happens that in saying what tends to our own confusion we indulge a secret and refined pride. For the confusion arising from the voluntary manifestation of our defects excites within us a desire of obtaining the praise or reputation of being humble. This rule is not to be observed in the tribunal of penance: on the contrary, it will be always useful to make known to the confessor your defects, your evil inclinations; and, generally speaking, even the evil thoughts that pass through your mind. It is also very profitable to manifest, on some occasions, certain circumstances that redound to your shame. On such occasions be careful not to abstain from humbling your own pride. Father Villanova, of the Society of Jesus, was not ashamed to tell the whole Community that his brother was a poor laborer. Father Sacchini, likewise a Jesuit, having in a public place met his father, who was a muleteer, instantly ran to embrace him, and exclaimed: " O behold my father !" Should it ever happen that you are compelled to listen to your own praise, endeavor to humble yourself, at least interiorly, by casting an eye at the grounds of self-contempt that have been already detailed. To the proud, says St. Gregory, 2 praise, however undeserved, is delicious; but to the humble, even well-merited commendation is a source of grief and of affliction. 1" Grande mlum, si, vel modice, plus vero te extollas." In Gmt. s. 372 Mor. 1. 22, c. 9; 1. 26, c. 30. And being exalted, says the Royal Prophet, I have been humbled and troubled. 1 Like holy David, the humble man, says St. Gregory, is troubled at hearing his own praises. He sees that he has no claim to the virtues or to the good qualities that are ascribed to him; and he fears that by taking self-complacency in his good works he may lose whatever merit he has acquired before God, and that the Judge may say to him: Thou didst receive good things in thy lifetime 2 Whoever takes pleasure in listening to his own praise has already received his reward: he has no claim to any other remuneration. As gold, says the wise man, is tried in the furnace, so a man is tried by the mouth of him 111 that praiseth. 3 Yes, a mans spirit is tried by praise: when the commendation of his virtues excites sentiments, not of pleasure nor of pride, but of shame and confusion, then, indeed, his humility appears. St. Francis Borgia and St. Aloysius were greatly afflicted whenever they heard themselves extolled. When you are praised or treated with respect, humble your soul and tremble lest the honor that you receive should be to you an occasion of sin and of perdition. Consider that the esteem of men may prove your greatest misfortune; by fomenting pride it may contaminate your heart, and thus be the cause of your damnation. Keep always before your eyes the great saying of St. Francis of Assisi: "What I am before God, that I am, and no more." 1 " Exaltatus autem, humiliatus sum et conturbatus." Ps. Ixxxvii. 16 2 " Recepisti bona in vita tua." Luke, xvi. 25. 3 " Quomoclo probatur . . . in fornace aurum, sic probatur homo ore laudantis." Prov. xxvii. 21. Are you so foolish as to think that the esteem of men will render you more pleasing in the sight of God ? When you are gratified and elated by the praises bestowed upon you, and are by them induced to think yourself better than the other religious, you may be assured that, while men extol your virtues, God shall cut you off. Be persuaded, then, that the praises of others will never make you more holy in the sight of God. St. Augustine says that as the reproach or slander of an enemy cannot deprive a man of the merit of his virtues, so the applause of a friend or admirer will not make him better than he really is. " A bad conscience," says St. Augustine, " is not healed by the praise of a flatterer, nor a good one wounded by the contumely of the reviler." 1 Whenever, then, you hear your own praises, say in your heart, with St. Augustine: " I know myself better than they do; and God knows me better than I do myself." 2 They, indeed, praise me, but I, who see the state of my own soul better than they do, know that these praises are unmerited; God knows it still better than I do; he sees that I deserve neither honor nor respect, but all the contempt of earth and hell. II. Secondly, as you ought carefully to refrain from all complacency in the praises that you receive from others, so you must abstain with still greater caution from asking any office of rank or dignity in the convent. " You must," as St. Mary Magdalene de Pazzi says, "avoid with all possible care every exercise that is apt to attract attention, for it is in such exercises that pride delights." It is necessary to shun, even with horror, every honourable office in the monastery. In the convent of the Most Holy Trinity, in Naples, there was a very exemplary religious called Sister Archangela Sanfelice. The confessor said to her one day: "Sister Archangela, the nuns wish to make you abbess." At first she appeared afflicted and surprised, but afterwards expressed her readiness to accept the office. After signifying her assent, she was suddenly seized with a fit of apoplexy, which nearly deprived her of life, and obliged the nuns to seek another abbess. 1" Nec malam conscientiam sanat laudantis praeconium, nee bonam vulnerat conviciantis opprobrium." Contra Petil. 1. 3, c. 7. 2" Melius me ego novi, quam illi; sect melius Deus, quam ego." In Ps. xxx vi. s. 3. "All worldly honor," says St. Hilary, "is the business of the devil." 1 Worldly honors are the means by which Satan gains many souls for hell. And, if the ambition of honors occasions great ruin in a worldling, it is productive of far greater havoc in a religious. " The body of the Church," says St. Leo, "is defiled by the contention of the ambitious." 2 Speaking of nuns, St. Teresa 3 says that " where they attend to punctilios of honor, fervor will never flourish." In another place she says, " The monastery in which points of honor and claims of precedence are attended to, may be considered as lost: from it the Spouse is already banished." Addressing her own Community, she says: " Should a Judas be ever found among you, expel her at once, as a source of infection; and deprive forever of all hope of success in her projects the nun who attempts to seek superiority over her companions. I would rather see this monastery burnt to the ground than ever see ambition enter into it." Similar were the sentiments of St. Jane Frances de Chantal. " I would," says the saint, " sooner see my monastery buried in the sea, than ambition or the desire of office enter it." Listen to the wise remarks of Peter de Blois on this subject. In one of his letters 4 he describes the pestiferous effects of ambition, and its frightful ravages in the souls of Christians. Ambition, he says, though full of uncharitableness, puts on the garb of charity. Charity suffers all things for the attainment of eternal goods: ambition, too, endures every hardship, but only for the acquisition of the miserable honors of this world. 1 " Omnis sæculi honor diaboli negotium est." In Matth. c. 3, n. 5. 2 " Corpus Ecclesiæ ambientium contagione foedatur." Epist. i. 3 Way of Perf. ch. 8, 13. 4 Epist. 14. Charity is kind, but particularly to the poor and the abject; ambition, too, abounds in benevolence, but only to the rich and powerful, who can gratify its cravings. Charity bears all things to please God: ambition submits to every wrong, but only through the vain motive of obtaining honors or office. O God ! to what annoyance, inconvenience, 112 fatigues, fears, expenses, and even reproaches and insults, must the ambitious submit, for the attainment of the dignity to which they aspire! Finally, charity believes and hopes all that regards the glory of eternity; but ambition believes and hopes only what regards the empty honors of this life. But, in the end, what is the fruit of all the labors of the ambitious? They only attain some empty dignity which contents not the heart, and which renders them, in the eyes of the others, objects of contempt rather than of respect. " By the sole desire of it," says St. Teresa, " honor is lost: the greater the dignity obtained, the more disgraceful it is to the person w r ho has procured it. For the more he has labored for its attainment, the more he has shown himself unworthy of it." St. Jane Frances de Chantal said that " they who esteem themselves most deserving of office are the most unworthy of it: because they want humility, which is the best disposition for the fulfilment of an office." God grant that the dignity which the ambitious procure may not be the cause of their eternal ruin. Father Vincent Carafa, of the Society of Jesus, having once visited a dying friend, to whom an office of great emolument, but at the same time of great danger, had been given, was requested by the sick man to obtain from God the restoration of his health. No, my friend, replied the Father, I shall not abuse my affection for you: desirous of your salvation, God calls you to another life while you are in the state of grace. I know not whether, if restored, to health, you would save your soul in the office which has been offered to you. The sick man peacefully accepted the stroke of death, and expired with sentiments of joy and resignation. " It is scarcely possible," says St. Bonaventure, " that he who delights in honors should not be in great danger." 1 To take complacency in any dignity, particularly in the office of abbess, of assistant, mistress of novices, or in any other charge to which are annexed serious obligations, exposes a religious to great danger of perdition. But the condition of the nun who through ambition has procured such an office is still more perilous. For she cannot, without great difficulty, refuse any request to the sisters by whom she was promoted, and thus she will probably be lost. Besides, God is not bound to give her the aid necessary for the discharge of the duties of an office which she has procured by her own exertions. How, then, can she, bereft of the divine assistance, fulfil her obligations? Oh! how many shall we see condemned on the day of judgment for having obtained offices by their own efforts! If, dear sister, you desire to preserve humility, do not allow yourself to be seduced by any desire of worldly glory. What shall I say of the nun who, to make a display of pomp and riches, is guilty of extravagance in the discharge of her office ? What shall I say of the nun who, though a poor religious, receives with pleasure worldly titles? Were she truly humble, she would tell all, even the servants of her parents, that such titles are neither agreeable nor suited to her. It is certain that to a nun the title of reverend is more honorable than the appellation of noble; because the former is given to her as the spouse of Jesus, but it is only as a person of rank in the world that she can claim the latter. |