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***DAILY DOSE OF WEIRD NEWS
***CREATION MOMENTS MINUTE
PRINTER FRIENDLY VERSION:
WELCOME TO THE SHOW!
Hi. (Sorry, that’s about all I have the energy for right now.)
BIBLE VERSE OF THE DAY
“I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge -- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” --Ephesians 3:17-19
The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights. — Habakkuk 3:19
HEARTLIGHT VERSE & THOUGHT
Since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. — Colossians 1:9
Thought: When we hear of Christians in other places, especially where circumstances and times are difficult, or they are new in the Faith, let's intentionally and purposefully pray this prayer for them!
Prayer: Loving Father please bless my brothers and sisters in Christ all over the world. Strengthen those under attack and facing oppression. Mature those new to your family. Enlighten those who are facing doubt and uncertainty. Please bless your people today with peace. In Jesus' name I ask it. Amen.
The Thoughts and Prayers for Today's Verse are written by Phil Ware. You can email questions or comments to email@example.com.
“BIRTH VERSE” OF THE DAY
The chapter and verse corresponds to the month and the day!
Ephesians 6:15 NIV = And with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.
TODAY IS MONDAY – JUNE 15, 2015
(NOTE: Some holidays may be duplicated due to various calendars reporting conflicting dates)
WEIRD, WACKY, STRANGE, ZANY, ODD, BIZARRE, QUIRKY, UNUSUAL HOLIDAYS!
THERE ARE ONLY 194 SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS.
Today is HEE HAW DAY, marking the debut of the TV show on June 15, 1969. Critics hated the show. ***MARLAR: Which explains why it lasted 20 years. (audio clip)
Today is SMILE POWER DAY.
Today is NATIONAL SNEAK A KISS DAY. ***MARLAR: And if you do so successfully, you’ll probably get a powerful smile!
TODAY IS ALSO. . .
Global Wind Day
Magna Carta Day
Native American Citizenship Day
Nature Photography Day
National Day of Prayer for Law Enforcement Officers
Ride to Work Day (Motorcycles)
World Elder Abuse Awareness Day
Worldwide Day of Giving
COMING UP NEXT
TUESDAY, JUNE 16
Ladies’ Day (Baseball)
WEDNESDAY, JUNE 17
Eat Your Vegetables Day
Stewarts Root Beer Day
World Day to Combat Desertification and Drought
THURSDAY, JUNE 18
International Sushi Day
Dump the Pump Day
Recess at Work Day
FRIDAY, JUNE 19
Garfield the Cat Day
National Flip Flop Day
Ugliest Dog Day
Work at Home Father’s Day
World Sickle Cell Day
World Sauntering Day
SATURDAY, JUNE 20
American Eagle Day
Dollars Against Diabetes Days
Flitch of Bacon Day
Polar Bear Swim
World Productivity Day
World Refugee Day
SUNDAY, JUNE 21
Alzheimer’s Awareness Day
Ann & Samantha Day
Atheists Solidarity Day
Cuckoo Warning Day
Family Awareness Day
Go Skateboarding Day
National Daylight Appreciation Day
National Selfie Day
Husband Caregiver Day
Summer Solstice (12:38pm)
Tall Girl Appreciation Day
World Handshake Day
World Humanist Day
World Music Day
MONDAY, JUNE 22
Global Smurfs Day
Stupid Guy Thing Day
Baby Boomers Recognition Day
ON THIS DAY
1860: Florence Nightingale started her School for Nurses at St. Thomas Hospital in London.
1902: In possibly the worst baseball game ever pitched, Texarkana's C. B. DeWitt lost 51-3 to Corsicana in the Texas League. Corsicana’s Nig Clark hit eight home runs in a small park in Ennis, where the game had to be played because of Corsicana’s Sunday "blue" law.
1928: During a triple steal, 41-year-old Ty Cobb stole home the 50th and final time in his 24-year major-league career. Cobb’s Tigers beat the Indians 12-5.
1950: Michel Lotito was born in Grenoble, France. Known as "Mr. Eat-It-All," Michel ate metal and glass for years. According to the Guinness Book of World Records, he is the only human known to have actually eaten 10 bicycles, seven TV sets, a shopping cart, a coffin (handles and all), a computer, and a small Cessna airplane.
1956: John Lennon met Paul McCartney in Woolton, England, at a church party. John was 15; Paul was 13.
1990: In Madrid Keith Richards and Charlie Watts overdubbed tracks for a tribute album to the late Charlie Mingus. Both played on "Oh, Lord, Don’t Drop That Atomic Bomb On Me."
1992: U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle advised a Trenton, New Jersey, elementary school student to spell "potato" p-o-t-a-t-o-e.
1994: Disney’s movie "The Lion King" opened in American theaters.
1996: Ella Fitzgerald, the "first lady of song," died in Beverly Hills at age 78. Her #1 hits included were "A-Tisket, A-Tasket," "I’m Making Believe," and "Into Each Life Some Rain Must Fall."
1996: Roy Jones Jr. successfully defended his IFB super-middleweight boxing title against Eric Lucas after scoring five points that afternoon in a U.S. Basketball League game to help the Jacksonville Barracudas beat Treasure Coast.
2001: A Houston jury convicted accounting firm Arthur Andersen of obstruction of justice, the first conviction involving the collapse of Enron.
2003: A specialty grocery store opened in London that sold only tomato ketchup. Tammy Omoniabipi and sister Patsy stocked their store with 9,432 bottles of ketchup.
2004: Tim Berners-Lee received the $1.2 million Millennium Technology Prize in Helsinki, Finland, for creating the World Wide Web.
2005: An autopsy on Terri Schiavo showed she had been in a persistent vegetative state. The medical examiner in Largo, Florida, found she had massive and irreversible brain damage and was blind, and found no evidence that she was strangled or otherwise abused.
TODAY IN CHRISTIAN HISTORY
1215: King John signs the Magna Carta, which begins, "The Church of England shall be free.
1520: Leo X issued the papal encyclical Exsurge Domine, which condemned German Reformer Martin Luther as a heretic on 41 counts and branded him an enemy of the Roman Catholic Church.
1649: Margaret Jones of Charlestown became the first person tried and executed for witchcraft in colonial Massachusetts.
1686: In Boston, the King's Chapel was organized. It was the first Anglican church established in colonial New England.
1950: American missionary martyr Jim Elliot wrote in his journal: "A man without Christ has his roots only in his own times, and his fruits as well."
1979: Greater Europe Mission moved its headquarters from Chicago to Wheaton, Illinois. Founded in 1949, GEM is an evangelical missionary agency involved in church planting and evangelism in over a dozen European countries.
1997: NewSong's "Rhythm of the World" was the #1 song on CRR's AC and CHR charts.
HOLLYWOOD, SPORTS AND CELEBRITY FIGURE BIRTHDAYS
Actor (“Doogie Howser, M.D.”, Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle, “How I Met Your Mother”) Neil Patrick Harris, 42 (audio clip)
Actress (“King of Queens”) Leah Remini, 45 (audio clip)
Actress (“Friends”, Scream movies) Courtney Cox, 51 (audio clip)
Actress (“Mad About You”, What Women Want, Twister, As Good As It Gets) Helen Hunt, 52 (audio clip)
Actor (‘According to Jim”, Jingle All The Way, “The Defenders”) Jim Belushi, 61 (audio clip)
(Music Artist Birthdays From SongFacts.com)
1843 : Edvard Grieg
1910 : David Rose
1929 : Nigel Pickering (Spanky and Our Gang)
1937 : Waylon Jennings
1941 : Harry Nilsson
1946 : Ian Matthews
1946 : Noddy Holder (Slade)
1949 : Russell Hitchcock (Air Supply)
1950 : James Smith (The Stylistics)
1951 : Steve Walsh (Kansas, Streets)
1954 : Garry Roberts (The Boomtown Rats)
1954 : Terri Gibbs
1956 : Bernie Shaw (Uriah Heep)
1963 : Scott Rockenfield (Queensrÿche)
1966 : Michael Britt (Lonestar)
1966 : Rob Mitchell (Sixpence None the Richer)
1969 : Ice Cube
1976 : Dryden Mitchell (Alien Ant Farm)
1981 : Billy Martin (Good Charlotte)
SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE
Why do pigeons so easily adapt to city living?
One could speculate that it's because cities have the greatest concentration of automobiles and window ledges. The pigeon's mission in life is to befoul these objects, and city living gives them a clear shot at many targets -a turkey shoot, you might say. Those who study such things, though, have a different view of the matter. They point out that pigeons have a long history of domestication. Being descended from tame birds makes them used to always having people around. These experts also observe that pigeons appear to have originated in areas of North Africa characterized by cliffs. Tall buildings thus remind them of their ancestral homes. Anyway, whoever comes up with a definitive answer will have scored a real coo--uh, coup.
CHRISTIAN ARTIST NEWS
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Another groaner from Citizen Way: Do people in Australia call the rest of the world "up over"?
A random thought from Jamie Grace: y'all know what's cute?!?! Chipmunks
Did you know that time machines already exists? Sidewalk Prophets Ben McDonald tweeted: Love listening to old records and being transported back in time.
From Casting Crowns Megan Garrett: You know it's gonna be a long day when you wake up wanting to take a nap.
A bit of trivia about Plumb. She collects aprons to wear when she makes pies.
Jodi from Love and The Outcome wants to know: Does watching Chris exercise count as a workout? How about if I'm eating a cookie while doing it?
A question from Colton Dixon: Who else besides me spells it out "Wed-nes-day" in your head? I can't be the only one.
The Sidewalk Prophets Ben McDonald says he has met a lot of awesome people in his life but Ben says there is still one person he would love to meet. He tweeted: I am still longing for the day I get to meet Mr. T.
Big Daddy Weave front man Mike Weaver says the bands name started as a joke. Mike is a big man so, when they were invited to play their first concert while still in college, they jokingly gave their bands name as Big Daddy Weave of the Institution. Mike says the moral of that story is be careful what you name your band because it could be something that decades later you’re still explaining. He says Big Daddy Weave stuck and that is what they have been called ever since.
Words of wisdom and deep insight from David Crowder: 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the population.
WEIRD & WACKY
2 girls told to close lemonade stand for lack of permit
OVERTON, Texas (AP) — Two Texas girls whose lemonade stand was shut down because they lacked a permit will instead offer the drink for free. HASH(0x13f7fa0) A police officer on Monday approached the stand, which offered lemonade for 50 cents and "kettle korn" for $1. In patrol-car video, the...
Man dismissed from jury duty for wearing prisoner costume photo
ST. JOHNSBURY, Vt. (AP) — A Vermont man has escaped jury duty — by getting dismissed for wearing a prisoner costume. James Lowe of Barnet says he was released from jury duty on Tuesday when he showed up to court wearing a black-and-white-striped jumpsuit with a matching beanie....
Typo corrected on Ernie Pyle statue at Indiana University
BLOOMINGTON, Ind. (AP) — Ernie Pyle's statue has filed a correction. The bronze statue of the famed World War II journalist on the Bloomington campus of Indiana University had misspelled the word "correspondent" by dropping an "r." But on Wednesday, a bronze artist from Detroit fixed the...
Report of plane crash actually monster truck's bath time photo
SPRINGFIELD, Mo. (AP) — Ambulances, law enforcement officers and several emergency responders rushed to a property in southwest Missouri upon receiving a report of a possible plane crash. Instead, they found a man washing his jet-powered semi — named "Shockwave" — on Monday...
Police: Woman reports drug deal rip-off, ends up charged
FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. (AP) — Authorities say a South Florida woman who called 911 to report that she was getting stiffed in a drug deal ended up reporting on herself: She now faces charges including drug possession. The Broward Sheriff's Office reports that 19-year-old Daneshia Heller told a...
Missing 50-pound pet tortoise is found alive and well
PLAINFIELD TOWNSHIP, Mich. (AP) — Frank, a 50-pound pet tortoise, has been found in western Michigan after a two-day search. Owner Bradley Clark tells The Grand Rapids Press that he got a call from someone who said the tortoise was munching on flowers Tuesday, 7 miles from home in Kent...
'Throwing shade'; Taco Bell execs bone up on youth lingo photo
NEW YORK (AP) — Taco Bell executives are studying a strange new vocabulary emerging on this side of the border — the lingo of its young customers. CEO Brian Niccol said the company features a "Millennial Word of the Week" at its headquarters as a reminder of how the chain's biggest fan...
Colorado sees 1st camp resort for pot users
DURANGO, Colo. (AP) — Colorado is full of all-inclusive ranch resorts where guests hike, fish, play horseshoes and roast marshmallows. This one has a new offering — smoking pot. The 170-acre CannaCamp opening July 1 in Durango in southwest Colorado calls itself the nation's first...
Homeless man gets back nearly $10k in cash left on bus bench
LAUDERDALE-BY-THE-SEA, Fla. (AP) — A South Florida homeless man has been reunited with an inheritance of nearly $10,000 in cash, stuffed into two envelopes, which he'd accidentally left on a bus bench. A Broward County sheriff's deputy and a good Samaritan found the cash and authorities were...
Traps set for remaining loose piglets after Ohio truck crash photo
XENIA, Ohio (AP) — Federal officials are setting traps for any piglets that may still be in the area after a semitrailer carrying 2,200 of them overturned on an Ohio highway. HASH(0x1428540) Agencies and volunteers worked to corral the animals after the Monday night crash. About 1,100 of the...
Report: Chimps enjoy fermented palm sap, get drunk off it
DAKAR, Senegal (AP) — Chimpanzees in West Africa get inebriated during lengthy "drinking sessions" featuring the fermented sap of palm trees — normally used to make palm wine — according to a new study published Wednesday. The report in the journal Royal Society Open Science...
HEALTH & FITNESS
South Korea reports 10th death from MERS virus photo
SEOUL, South Korea (AP) — South Korea reported a 10th death from the MERS virus on Thursday, although officials say they believe the disease has peaked. The victim was a 65-year-old man who had been treated for lung cancer and was hospitalized in the same facility as another MERS patient, the...
Spike in heroin overdoses takes toll on Ohio town's psyche photo
MARION, Ohio (AP) — The usual handwringing over the heroin problem turned into panic in this small city in May when a supercharged blue-tinted batch from Chicago sent more than 30 overdose victims to the hospital and two to the morgue in a 12-day stretch. Like many places in America, Marion...
Health officials tell US doctors to watch for MERS
NEW YORK (AP) — Health officials are advising U.S. doctors to be on the lookout for people sickened by Middle East respiratory syndrome, also called MERS, following an outbreak in South Korea. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention on Thursday reminded doctors to ask patients with...
Advocates aim to extend benefits for 9/11 first responders
WASHINGTON (AP) — Advocates for ailing Sept. 11 first responders urged Congress on Thursday to permanently extend a law providing medical monitoring and treatment for the rescue workers, saying they need reassurance that their health care will not be cut off. Dr. John Howard, the...
FDA panel backs Amgen cholesterol drug for some patients photo
WASHINGTON (AP) — Federal health advisers said Wednesday that a highly-anticipated cholesterol-lowering drug from Amgen Inc. should be approved for patients with dangerously high levels of the artery-clogging substance. But as with their review of a similar drug a day earlier, the Food and...
Study: Rape prevention training works, cuts sex assault risk photo
A program that taught college women ways to prevent sexual assault cut in half the chances they would be raped over the next year, a Canadian study found. It was the first large, scientific test of resistance training, and the strong results should spur more universities to offer it, experts say....
NYC Health Department proposes high-sodium warning on menus photo
NEW YORK (AP) — New York City's Health Department wants all chain restaurants to warn customers about products that are high in salt. The department voted on Wednesday to consider the proposal at a meeting of the Board of Health that all chain restaurants add a salt-shaker-like symbol on...
Johnson & Johnson starts project to prevent Type 1 diabetes photo
TRENTON, N.J. (AP) — Johnson & Johnson has begun a research partnership to find the root cause of Type 1 diabetes and stop the hormonal disorder in its tracks. It's the health care giant's first project under its ambitious initiative to prevent or at least intercept and reduce harm from many...
San Francisco moves to put warnings on ads for sugary drinks photo
SAN FRANCISCO (AP) — Soda and some other sugary drinks contribute to health problems, San Francisco supervisors said as they voted unanimously to approve health warnings on ads for such beverages. The soda industry said it might sue to block the ordinance, while supporters said they will seek...
Blue Bell: Listeria source likely ID'd at Oklahoma plant
HOUSTON (AP) — Blue Bell Creameries believes the listeria found at its Oklahoma facility is likely linked to a non-sanitary room, though the company has not been able to pinpoint a single source for the contamination at its Texas plant, according to a report released Wednesday. The...
Health head: Congress' problem if court voids health law aid photo
WASHINGTON (AP) — Congress and the states will need to find an answer if the Supreme Court strikes down the federal subsidies that are a foundation of President Barack Obama's health care law, his health secretary told lawmakers Wednesday. Sylvia Burwell also said the president would reject...
(None on the weekends)
NEW NEWS KICKERS…
Senator Ted Cruz says if he's elected president, he plans to hold a Cuban pig roast on White House lawn. *** Which is a terrible thing to say about Raul Castro.
A Florida couple are accused of giving their teenage daughters cocaine and marijuana if they went to school and did household chores. *** Remember when your allowance was only like five bucks a week? Boy have times changed.
Pizza Hut is set to begin selling a pizza with 28-hot dogs stuffed in the crust. *** Congratulations, Pizza Hut – you just out-trailer-trashed yourself.
A 60-year-old Massachusetts woman has pleaded not guilty to running a crack cocaine delivery service from her pickup truck. *** Sounds like a pickup and delivery service to me.
NEWS KICKER EVERGREENS…
Bottled water may not be any healthier or safer than tap water, according to Florida-based sports nutritionist and dietician CynthiaSass, who says that 25% of bottled water on store shelves is actually just repackaged tap water. A recent Gallup poll found that we drink bottled water because we think it is purer than tap water, tastes better and is more convenient. ***MARLAR: More convenient? What can be more convenient than walking outside and drinking from the hose?
Smoking damages the body in minutes rather than years, according to research in the US. The report, published in Chemical Research in Toxicology, shows that chemicals which cause cancer form rapidly after smoking. Scientists involved in the small-scale study described the results as a stark warning to people considering smoking. The long term impact of smoking, from heart disease to a range of cancers, is well known. This study suggests the damage begins just moments after the first cigarette is smoked. ***MARLAR: In fact, cigarettes are so dangerous that they will now be banned from even being looked at without proper I.D.
British scientists have developed a new melt-proof recipe for chocolate. The heat-tolerant chocolate, developed by Cadbury engineers, remains solid even when exposed to temperatures in excess of 104 degrees (40 degrees Celsius) for more than three hours. ***MARLAR: It doesn't melt in your mouth or your hands! It won't melt at 104 degrees – but our own body temperature is 98.6. That means it won't melt in our mouths either – unless we have a really bad fever. At which point, do we really need chocolate?
So ladies, how do you make him fall in love? Take him on a rollercoaster ride. Or bungee-jumping. Or whitewater rafting. Literally. It turns out that stomach flips, adrenaline and screams associated with any white-knuckle event create a rush of the hormone that makes us fall in love, according to research from Richard Robinson, author of "Why the One You Fancy Never Fancies You." That hormone is called phenylethylamine. An important component in the science of attraction, it is secreted when you see someone you really like. ***MARLAR: I fell in love with my wife Robin from the adrenaline rush of being in the passenger seat when she was driving. My heart is still racing.
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… “Zero in Roman Numerals”
DAILY COMEDY CLIP
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE... Thor Ramsey, “Drunk Proposal”
AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – WEEKDAY VERSION
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD MONDAY’S EPISODE
OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns! Last time, Rita the Skunk received an “A” on the first day of turning in her Accelerated Math homework. And on her second day she received a gold star! But the truth is that Rita doesn’t deserve either of those things – because she’s been manipulating her Uncle Racquet to do her homework for her… and it’s getting harder!
CLOSE: Well now, look who suddenly has in interest in learning! And look who’s having difficulty doing so! Will Rita be able to learn addition, subtraction, multiplication and long-division before school? That’s some major cramming! We’ll find out next time, As the Jungle Turns!
AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – SATURDAY/SUNDAY VERSION
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE EPISODE FOR THE WEEKEND OF JUNE 20/21, 2015
OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you another inspiringly inspiring inspirational story in the never-ending deep-jungle soap-opera saga that is As the Jungle Turns!
CLOSE: Being a boy is tough – and going to school, doing homework, chores, and cleaning up your room may not be very fun, but what WOULD happen if you never had to work? Tune in next time, for As the Jungle Turns!
***You may simulcast “As the Jungle Turns” on the Internet stream of your live broadcast only. Any other Internet use of As the Jungle Turns in whole or part including podcasting of your live broadcast is a violation of copyright law. Thank you for your cooperation on this vitally important issue. If you have any questions, please e-mail us.
MOMENT OF DUH
What do you do for a man who has cancer? Fire him from his job, of course!
54-year-old Ronald Michalowicz is a fire inspector for Bedford Park, Illinois. That is he WAS a fire inspector. He was fired after 28 years on the job -- about one year shy of retirement -- for violating the town rules against soliciting charitable contributions. But get this -- the solicitation was initiated by other people to help pay for Ronald's treatment for tongue cancer, which was thought by doctors to be quickly fatal. However, Ronald got his miracle, beat the odds, and survived after chemotherapy. So he returned to work. But even though a town official, having noted Ron's near-terminal condition earlier, approved the solicitation, when he came back to work other officials insisted on enforcing the no-solicitation rule and had him fired! Heartless jerks. He has rightfully sued for wrongful discharge.
TOP TEN THINGS YOU WON'T HEAR DAD SAY!
10) Can you turn up that music? It really calms my nerves.
9) You can't finish your peas? Go ahead and throw 'em away.
8) Here, you take the remote.
7) Oh no, kids, this sled is too fast!
6) No, honey, sit this one out. I really can't wait to change that diaper.
5) As a matter of fact, let's both go get nose rings!
4) Hey, kids! Sit down at the table and try my vichyssoise.
3) Go ahead, take my car-and here's fifty bucks for gas.
2) Waiter! More ice cream for the little one!
1) Where do babies come from?
THE FILES OF LAW & DISORDER
What people sometimes fail to realize is that it isn't important whether the police get their man. It's only important that the police get A man.
FILE #1: Brian Mulligan was arrested on a driving charge. He spent 20 hours in a police cell before being driven 150 miles for a court appearance. You see, he had the same name as a man on an arrest warrant. His address and date of birth did not match but it was close enough for the police. Never mind the fact that they had the wrong man. It was close enough for the Greater Manchester Police, but not close enough for the courts who released him because he was, after all, the wrong man. So they let him go, 150 miles from home, with no means to return home. He had to hitch a ride. Needless to say, he's upset... and he's suing. I would too.
FILE #2: When rescue crews arrived at McCail's home in Akron, Ohio, after a series of confusing phone calls, they did not find a medical emergency. But they did find a batch of newborn puppies. McCail delivered 13 healthy puppies on her own. In the process, authorities say she abused the 911 emergency system meant to save human lives. "That means they can't respond to another call that may be in their immediate vicinity," said Lt. Alan Bragg of the Akron Fire Department. "And that call could be for something that's very serious." McCail is now facing criminal charges for calling in a false alarm. "We're trained to save human lives, not animal lives," Bragg said. "Woman in labor? Yes, we do [that]. Dogs, no."
FILE #3: An Illinois man robbed a gas station and then fled, well maybe 'fled' is not a good word, who slowly, very slowly, drove off in an 18-wheel tractor-trailer, which also had his name on the door. He drove away so slowly, in fact, that the manager had time to call the police and get into her own car and tail him, even having to slow down at times so she wouldn't bump into him. Easy day for the Illinois police.
STRANGE LAW: In Pueblo, Colorado, it is illegal to let a dandelion grow within city limits.
THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS
A man is acquitted of drunk-driving because he was too drunk!
In August, a Portland, Ore., jury acquitted drunk-driving defendant Robert Lee Buskirk after a judge accepted his argument that incriminating statements he made at the scene not be used against him because he was so drunk he didn't know what he was doing when he waived his "Miranda" rights.
Dads love to tell the same stories over and over, don’t they? All dads do. What story does your dad love to tell, and will do so at the drop of a hat?
BIBLE BRAIN BUSTER!
QUESTION: Reuben, Gad, and half the tribe of __________ inherited land on the east side of the river Jordan.
ANSWER: Manasseh (Joshua 1:12-15)
QUESTION: How many siblings did Snoopy from the “Peanuts” comic strip have?
ANSWER: Seven siblings. Snoopy's father once received a Father's Day card from "all eight" of his children, which means Snoopy has seven siblings. However, only five names are known: Spike, Andy, Olaf, Belle, and Marbles. Snoopy grew up on the Daisy Hill Puppy Farm.
TRUE OR FALSE
Pay attention! If our next player doesn’t answer all ten T/F questions correctly we start all over from question #1! First person to answer question #10 correctly is our winner!
1. There are only three animals with blue tongues. (True: the Black Bear, the Chow Chow dog and the blue-tongued lizard)
2. Hacky-sack was invented in Hackensack, New Jersey. (False - it was invented in Turkey0
3. The pupil of an octopus' eye is rectangular. (True)
4. In every episode of Seinfeld there is an image of Superman somewhere. (True)
5. Pledge Floor Cleaner is the chemical most commonly used to clean elephants. (False - Murphy's Oil Soap)
6. The United States has never lost a war in which mules were used. (True)
7. The reason firehouses have circular stairways is to keep horses from going upstairs. (True. From the days when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight staircases.)
8. The airplane Buddy Holly died in was called "American Pie." (True, thus the name of the Don McLean song.)
9. The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year. (True, because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.)
10. The roaring lion in the MGM logo was named Leo. (False, it was named Volney and lived at the Memphis Zoo)
TABLOID MATCH GAME
You have to match the blank in the tabloid headline with the word or phrase that has been removed!
MAD ______ ON THE LOOSE! (DENTIST)
El Dentista is on the loose in New Mexico – and he’s coming after your teeth!
Police say Alejandro Colinas, known as El Dentista, is attacking citizens in New Mexico and cleaning their teeth, giving them root canals, and extracting wisdom teeth.
Colinas has been practicing out of his car for five years. Officers found portable drill, teeth molds and prescription drugs scattered around the vehicle
El Dentista has attacked hundreds of citizens. In public places, he puts a gas mask over their face and drags them to his car where he works on their teeth.
It started with Colinas operating as a ‘mobile dentist’ out of his small sedan around Santa Fe. But soon he realized that many people did not take care of their teeth properly and “that really set him off.”
“Colinas started attacking people and making sure that they had their cavity filled and that they understood the importance of good hygiene,” said Sgt. John Malley. ”He’s sort of a Robin Hood of dentists. He takes bad teeth and makes them good. Unfortunately, he’s also attacking people and operating on their teeth without their permission.”
Authorities are asking all victims of a man known as ‘El Dentista’ to file a report.
One woman told investigators she had teeth removed by Kestler but he didn’t come through with replacements.
Celina Westervelt, a spokeswoman for the Santa Fe Police Department, described the conditions inside Kestler’s dental practice on wheels as ‘disgusting,’ explaining that the car was filled with ‘leftover residual materials.’
Among the items seized from the red Chevy sedan were teeth molds scattered around the interior and prescription drugs, including Lidocane, Epinephrine, Septocaine and Disprospan.
Colinas was arrested but escaped from jail using a dentist drill he had in his pants. If you see him in Santa Fe – cover your mouth and run!
THE WAY TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING TO UNDERSTAND THE PUNCHLINE EVEN AFTER TWO CUPS OF COFFEE JOKE OF THE DAY
Two elderly gentlemen were visiting. "I guess you're never too old," the first one boasted. "Why just yesterday a pretty college girl said she'd be interested in dating me but to be perfectly honest, I don't quite understand it."
"Well," said his friend, "you have to remember that nowadays women are more aggressive. They don't mind being the one to ask."
"No, I don't think it's that."
"Well, maybe you remind her of her father."
"No, it's not that either. When she mentioned that she wanted to date me, she also said something about Carbon 14."
Three seniors were discussing the problems of getting older. One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and can't remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich."
The second senior chimed in, "Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can't remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down."
The third one responded, "Well, I'm glad I don't have that problem---knock on wood. "She rapped her knuckles on the table, pause for few seconds and then said, "That must be the door, I'll get it."
It was Mickey's first night in the penitentiary. All of the inmates were in their cells and he was trying to become a bit more comfortable with his meager surroundings. As he leaned against the bars at the front of his cell, Mickey heard a voice call out "44" and the whole cell block erupted into laughter!
Another voice called "16" and again there was laughter.
A third voice called "62" which was followed by laughter throughout the block.
Mickey didn't know what was going on so he rapped on his cell wall.
"Yeah, whaddaya want?" came the gruff reply from next door.
"What's going on, here?" asked Mickey.
"Well," said the other inmate, "down in the prison library there's only one joke book. We've all read the book so many times that we don't waste time telling the joke, we just call out it's number."
So the next day Mickey went down to the library and, sure enough, found the yellowed, dog-eared joke book and read it from cover to cover.
That night, wanting to be part of the group, Mickey confidently called out "44" and everyone laughed! He tried calling "16" and "62" and again there were peals of laughter. Then he called 57, and the halls rang with laughter.
After several minutes, one prisoner was still rolling on the floor laughing. More minutes - still laughing.
Mickey rapped on the cell wall.
"Yeah, waddaya want?" asked the other inmate.
"I don't understand it," asked Mickey, "Why is Tommy STILL laughing?"
"Well," said the gruff inmate, "He'd never heard that one before!"
For the first time, lifeguards in Sydney, Australia, will be allowed to fine swimmers who disobey orders and do things like swim outside designated safe surfing sections on beaches. ***MARLAR: The fines range from $32 for swimming outside the flagged areas to $118 for singing Beach Boys songs without a clear understanding of four-part harmony.
Norway struck an unprecedented blow for sexual equality when the government said it would force companies to guarantee that women could be in board meetings. ***MARLAR: Male board members unanimously agreed, and then immediately asked the women to bring them coffee and Danishes.
A FATHER'S NOTE TO PROSPECTIVE SUITORS
Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.
Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am thebarrier, and I will kill you.
Rule Five: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge e. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?
Rule Six: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.
Rule Seven: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a pot-bellied, balding, middle-aged, dim-witted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am all-knowing!
IT MUST BE TRUE BECAUSE I HEARD IT ON THE RADIO!
An elderly couple has been found after being missing for six days... turned out they were just lost.
We've all been on a road trip and taken a wrong turn, right? Or maybe you know where you're going, but didn't realize that there was going to be construction and that you'd have to take a detour. It takes a little longer to get to our destination, and it's a bit annoying, but it doesn't cause a huge problem in our lives... right? That's not the case for Albert Boveroux and Marie Schellings. Albert and Marie were on their way to go see some local waterfalls about 46 miles from their home when they ran across some construction, diverting traffic. Somehow, they got lost, ended up in Germany, couldn't figure out the traffic signs, and were lost for almost an entire week! For six days they did nothing but drive in their car, eat their picnic lunch, drink bottled water, and stop for gas. I know what you're thinking... obviously it was Albert that was driving. He'd stop for gas, but asking directions was apparently out of the question. Typical man driver, right? Well, in his defense, you should probably know that he had no idea how to speak German, and neither did Marie.
QUOTES ABOUT DADS
"It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was." -- Anne Sexton
"I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection." -- Sigmund Freud
"A father is a guy who has snapshots in his wallet where his money used to be." – Unknown
"A man knows when he is growing old because he begins to look like his father." -- Gabriel Garcia Marquez
"If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right." -- Bill Cosby
"If my son is getting half as much out of college as the college is getting out of me, he'll be a success." -- Unknown
DRIVE TIME DEVOTIONAL
Do you scare easily?
Someone has written that the words "Do not be afraid" appear 366 times in the Bible in some form. That's one for each day of the year, with one left over for leap year! Those words of encouragement and exhortation meant a lot to those who received them, including Mary (Luke 1:30), Joseph (Matthew 1:20), and the shepherds who heard the angel's announcement of Christ's birth (Luke 2:10).
Five-year-old Nathan had to go to the doctor. As they walked back to the examining room, his mother whispered to him, "Don't be afraid."
Abby was beside her grandfather as they started to cross a busy street. "Nothing to worry about," he reassured her.
Max was headed off to kindergarten on the big yellow bus. "Don't worry," his mom said. "You'll be safe."
In each instance adults reached down and the children reached up, and they held hands as they faced the realities of life together.
In Isaiah, chapter 41, God had been reassuring Israel that even though they were going to go through rough times, He would be with them. Then He said of Himself, "I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand" (Isaiah 41:13). His touch, His presence, His encouragement would carry His beloved people Israel through the difficult times before them.
The same is true for us. When we are facing a few rough days of exams or car trouble or the flu or work (what student hasn't had days or weeks like this?), it's God's powerful, large hand that reaches down to where our small hands can reach up and grasp His. Then He walks with us all the way.
When by faith you're holding hands with the Lord of the universe, you do not need to be afraid.
I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand. --Isaiah 41:13
MAYBE HE RUNS THE COMPUTER’S TREADMILL?
A computer engineer has found a live mouse inside a faulty PC's hard drive. Gary Taylor, of Coppull, Lancashire, says the creature caused the machine to short circuit by chewing through wires to make a nest. He thinks the rodent may have crawled into the computer through a tiny hole at the back. The engineer said he looked inside the computer and saw a little face staring back. Mr Taylor, who runs Taylormade Computer Services, cleaned the computer out and set the mouse free. ***MARLAR: Don’t all computers use a mouse?
LIFE... LIVE IT
IMAGES OF FATHER:
At 4 years of age: My daddy can do anything!
At 8 years of age: My Dad knows a lot! A whole lot!
At 12 years of age: My father doesn't quite know everything.
At 14 years of age: Naturally, Dad doesn't know that, either!
At 16 years of age: Dad? He's hopelessly old fashioned.
At 18 years of age: The old man? He's way outta touch!
At 25 years of age: Well, he might know a little about it.
At 35 years of age: Before we decide, let's ask Dad about it.
At 50 years of age: I wonder what Dad would have thought?
At 60 years of age: Wish I could talk it over with Dad once more
JUST FOR FUN
T-REX NO MORE?
When is a Tyrannosaurus Rex not a Tyrannosaurus Rex?…
…When it’s Manospondylus gigas! The good old T-Rex might be losing his familiar name. Some T-Rex bones unearthed in South Dakota could be part of a fossil found in 1892, before the T-Rex was named. According to the rules of paleontology, the first person to find it names it, and the man who found that skeleton called it "Manospondylus gigas," which means "giant, thin vertebrae." "Tyrannosaurus Rex," by the way, is Latin for "tyrant lizard king." ***MARLAR: T-Rex’s everywhere are already agonizing over all the potential paperwork… getting their driver’s license changed, their social security cards, monogrammed shirts, etc. Either that, or they’ll go by "The Dinosaur Formally Known as Tyrannosaurus Rex".
TOP 10 FATHER'S DAY FLICKS
10) Any John Wayne Movie
9) Field of Dreams (Dad fulfills baseball fantasy)
8) Vacation (Clarke Griswold...nuff said)
7) Parenthood (Dad struggles to control kids)
6) One Fine Day (single Dad meets single Mom)
5) Mr. Mom (Dad finds Mom's job isn't so easy)
4) City Slickers (Dad does dude ranch)
3) Mrs. Doubtfire (Dad does high heels)
2) Honey, I Blew up the Kid (Dad messes up)
1) Father of the Bride (Dad pays for wedding)
MORE SHOW PREP STUFF...
GET A GOOD NIGHT OF SLEEP
Find information on how to sleep better online from the National Sleep Foundation. http://www.sleepfoundation.org/
Here are some simple tips to beat insomnia and get a good night's sleep:
Do something dull before retiring. Do your taxes, read a phone book, sort your laundry. A little of this boredom goes a long way toward promoting sleep.
Drink milk before bedtime. Milk contains substance that relax the body. And the great news is it doesn't even have to be warm to be effective. Warm it only if you like that way.
Keep the bedroom dark. Light interferes with sleep. Even when your eyes are closed, they still perceive light. Avoid nightlights and illuminated clock dials, and close the shades if light from the outside comes through the window.
Keep the bedroom cool and the bed warm. The ideal sleeping situation is to be bundled warmly in a snug bed in a room that's well ventilated and a little bit chilly.
Enjoy herbal tea before bed -- but not too much of it. Many people sip relaxing teas made from chamomile, passionflower, hawthorn and other herbs to help them get their rest. But remember, drinking too much of any liquid before bedtime can have the opposite effect, particularly if you have a sensitive bladder.
Use your bed for only one thing: sleep. If you like to read yourself to sleep, or knit or work puzzles, do these activities in a favorite chair or sofa. We want our minds to associate bed with sleep.
Imaging being told you can’t graduate, because during your graduation you threw your cap into the air!
(From 2013) Administrators have had a change of heart after withholding diplomas from an entire graduating class because students defied instructions not to toss their caps in the air at graduation. Ridgewood High School in Norridge, a suburb of Chicago, referred to the cap-tossing at the ceremony on a Tuesday as "disrespectful and insubordinate behavior.” (Disrespectful? Insubordinate? Have these people never attended a high school graduation before? It’s tradition!) By that Thursday morning, officials had reversed course, saying it had "re-thought" its policy and would be sending out diplomas immediately. Ridgewood High School is known as the home of the Rebels. ***MARLAR: You’re school is the home of THE REBELS, and it surprises you that the student body defied you? Maybe the educators need to go back to school and learn how to use a dictionary. If they’d looked up the word “rebel”, maybe they wouldn’t have been so shocked at the results.
THE WAY WE WORK
(Wednesdays only; The Way WE Work is written by Mark Elfstrand from 1160Hope.com in Chicago.)
OTHER STUFF I WANT TO CRAM INTO TODAY’S PREP
(Weekdays Only, None On The Weekends)
It took Connie Vitolo 95 years, but she finally found her calling. According to the Charisma News article, it wasn't that long ago that Mrs. Vitolo didn't care whether she lived or died. It was during that dark time that her daughter saw an ad on a bulletin board stating that volunteers were needed to make items for orphans in India. And with that ad, Connie found her purpose. Over the past year she had made 12 blankets for the orphanage and says she prays over each one.
Who knew you could freeze non-citrus fruits for up to one year? According to the Huffington Post, Other foods also can last for months longer than you might think. You can also freeze vegetables, juice, steak, margarine, spices, lobster, whole chickens and turkeys, muffins, pork roast and beef roast for an entire 12 months. It's all listed in the freezer guide from freezerlabels.net.
Some people spend their entire lives trying to escape poverty. According to Mission Network News, one Gospel for Asia preacher did escape but now is going back. Pastor Marty grew up under a bridge in the slums of Mumbai, India. He was able to escape the grip of poverty, eventually enrolling in Bible college to become a pastor, but he never forgot the suffering of his childhood. After graduation, Marty returned to the slums. Now, he is sharing Jesus and meeting the same needs he himself once faced.
AND I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS THOUGHT
Remember, in case of a tornado, stay tuned to this station to hear (OTHER JOCK) scream.
THE TICKET Movie Reviews with MARIE ASNER
Marie Asner has been reviewing films for over 30 years. Her outlets include radio, print and Internet. For more in-depth movie reviews of the following films, visit www.Tollbooth.org. Ratings from 1 (Low) to 5 (High).
JUNE 12, 2015…
Jurassic World---Yes, we go back to that famous…or infamous island of creatures from long, long ago. They are still there and doing a great business. The theme park is functional and guests are happy. You know when they are this happy, something will happen and it does…a rogue, intelligent dinosaur (think T-Rex). Now the chases begin. The cast includes Chris Pratt (“Guardians of the Galaxy”) and Bryce Dallas Howard. “Jurassic World” is rated PG 13 and may be a reboot of the series.
Madame Bovary---Films like “Anna Karenina” or “Madame Bovary” are remade every 20 years or so. This time, Mia Wasikowska has the title role of the woman, married to a doctor and living away from high society, who is dissatisfied with her marriage. Also in the cast is Henry Lloyd-Hughes. “Madame Bovary” is rated PG 13. No rating.
Me and Earl and the Dying Girl (opening in select cities)---Thomas Mann stars in a film of teens who try to help a really ill friend by acting out famous movies of the past. Also in the cast are Olivia Cooke and R. J. Cyler. “Me and Earl and the Dying Girl” is rated
PG 13. No rating.
The Wolfpack (opening in select cities)---A documentary by Crystal Mosell and it concerns the Angulo brothers, who are home-schooled and don't leave the family apartment in New York City. The children become intensely interested in watching movies. “The Wolfpack” is not rated.
JUNE 17, 2015…
The Tribe is set in a school for the deaf and people communicate only in sign language. The film has won major awards.
JUNE 19, 2015…
Dope has a comedy about a boy from the streets who wants to attend Harvard. Stars Shameik Moore.
Inside Out is an animated film, one voice being Amy Poehler, and it concerns one’s emotions which have individual voices and individual personalities. Wasn't there a TV series about this years ago?
Manglehorn has Al Pacino as a man who had a battle with relationships from his son to his two girlfriends.
The Overnight stars Adam Scott in a family about what happens when you invite someone to be your friend.
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Darren Marlar credits all non-original material to the author whenever possible. All other material is original, used with permission, or author unknown. We welcome all comments, questions, and suggestions. Darren can be reached via his website at www.DarrenMarlar.com.