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The Geisha

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Chorus of Lamentation

Chorus. Oh, will they sell our master up,
Or take him off to gaol?
And on the Tea House plaster up
The notices of sale?
Whatever will become of us
If this should come to pass?
It’s bound to ruin some of us,
Alas, alas, alas!

Geisha & Here’s a dreadful blow – oh, oh!
Attendents. Filling us with woe – oh, oh!
How could geisha know – oh, oh!
Fate would treat them so – oh, oh!
Pretty faces show – oh, oh!
Tears that faster flow – oh, oh!
Please at prices low – oh, oh!
Do not let us go – oh, oh!
Here’s a dreadful blow – oh, oh!
Filling us with woe – oh, oh!
How could geisha know – oh, oh!
Fate would treat them so – oh, oh!
Whatever will become of us
If this should come to pass?
It’s bound to ruin some of us,
Alas, alas, alas!

At the end of Number they are all prostrated on the ground. Enter Lady Constance, with Ethel, Mabel and Marie. Enter Fairfax and Officers from Tea House.

Cunningham. I say, here, look at them playing honeypots!

Chorus rise.

Fairfax. What is this? These dear little singing girls to be sold off?

Wun-Hi. Allo faultee you. Takee Mimosa away from greatee Marquis spoil wedding – ruin poor Wun-Hi. (Wun-Hi is wound round from one Officer to another and kicked off.) English sailor belong number one big beastee!

Golden H. That’s right, it is the law.

Fairfax. The law! And this is civilised Japan!

Wun-Hi re-enters. During this Wun-Hi is weeping, beating his breast, while the Geisha are trying to console him.

Wun-Hi. Me velly solly for me! Last year belongee bad season, this season begin good season, makee plenty money, lots of you foleign devils! (Again kicked off) Oh, oh!

Fairfax. Well, boys, we’re not going to stand it, are we?

Officers. No, certainly not!

Fairfax. We will prevent the sale, anyhow.

Wun-Hi re-enters again.

Stanley. Quite right, sir.

Ethel. Who is going to sell the little girls? (To Wun-Hi)

Wun-Hi. He most expensive gentleman – he Governor of allee Province, and he most Noble Marquis Imari.

Lady C. The Marquis Imari! Why, I know him. At least – when I say I know him, my dear, I have not met him yet, but I have a card inviting us all to a Chrysanthemum Fete in honour of his wedding tomorrow.

Stanley. I shan’t go to his party, the brute.

Wun-Hi is kicked off again.

Lady C. Oh yes you will, my little man. We’ll all call on him and tell him we have come to accept his invitation. Then when I meet him I will talk him over and save these little geisha girls.

Cunningham. I’d like to argue it out with a big stick!

Ethel. Let is all go and tell him what we think of him!

Concerted Piece – Marie, Farifax,
Cunningham, Stanley, Grimston
and 3 Geisha

Fairfax. This infamous lord shall have his reward
My anger each moment increases.
Let’s quietly slip away to our ship
And blow the old beggar to pieces.

Cunningham. Of course to bombard a fellow’s back-yard
Is jolly good fun, but you’ll rue it!
You’d better instead try punching his head;

Girls. We’d like to be there while you do it!

All. We’re going to call on the Marquis
To pay off a nice little score
And won’t he be chatty when rat-a-tat-tatty
We knock at his dignified door?
We’ve something to say to the Marquis
It’s something too funny to miss,
For after pooh-poohing all how-do-you doing
We’re going to say it like this! (Bus. with fists.)

Officers. You’ll pardon us, pray, for asking the way,
Our ignorance kindly forgiving,
But Oh! we are so impatient to know
Where Mr. Imari is living.

Geisha. We’ll show you the road to reach his abode,
Delighted your favour at earning.
Simplicity quite, keep well to the right,
And carefully look for a turning.

All. We’re going to call on the Marquis, etc.

Exeunt, leaving Fairfax and Wun-Hi.

Wun-Hi. Most noble shippee sailor man with white trousers! (Howl.)

Fairfax. When you have finished howling, tell me how this sale is to be put a stop to.

Wun-Hi. No power stop Number One Marquis. (Fairfax attention L., Wun-Hi gets watch. bus.) He does just as he likee with poor Chinaman.

Fairfax. (Discovering loss of watch) Here, what are you doing?

Wun-Hi. Me only passing the time away.

Fairfax. You’d make time fly! But have you no laws here – no courts, or anything – or nothing in this country?

Wun-Hi. Marquis Imari, he the law, he the courts, he everything! Wun-Hi ruined mannee! (Crash off.) Whattee whattee? Oh, velly funny! Little English lady pullee coolie in rickshaw! (Crash off.) Now she droppee him out, nearly breakee neck! Allo light – only coolie neck. Velly cheap neck!

A noise outside of a cart upsetting. Enter Molly Seamore, in smart yatching costume, drawing an empty rickshaw. She is stopped by Fairfax.

Molly. (Comes down and sees consternation – looks round at empty rickshaw) I have had a run! I’ve lost him!

Fairfax. Lost him? Lost whom?

Molly. Why, my fare, to be sure! I engaged this cart and a man, but I didn’t like him in front of me.

Fairfax. Why not?

Molly. He had so few clothes on, so I tucked him inside and took him for a drive round.

Fairfax. (Laughs) He must have come untucked. But where is he now?

Molly. I suppose he’s fallen out.

Fairfax. Is he hurt?

Molly. I hope not. Ah, here he is. (To Coolie.) I am so sorry for you. Are you hurt? (Enter Coolie, rubbing himself. Molly runs to him, taking out her purse, opens it to give him money, gives purse instead.) I don’t know the Japanese for sticking plaster, but buy yourself something.

Coolie about to run off, delighted; Wun-Hi intercepts him, takes purse, gives him a coin and kicks him.

Wun-Hi. Too muchee money for coolie, just enough for Wun-Hi. Go along! (Takes purse and kicks Coolie over bridge and Exit.)

Molly. (Chuckles) Is that a Japanese salute?

Fairfax. Tell me, why didn’t you come on with Lady Constance and the others?

Molly. I wanted to find you.

Fairfax. How sweet of you! You wanted to be alone with me?

Molly. No, it wasn’t that altogether – I wanted to see what you were up to with the Japanese girls.

Fairfax. Molly, surely you don’t doubt me?

Molly. Not a bit of it! I trust you so thoroughly that I know you would like to take me wherever you go. (Points to Tea House) We’ll go in there now.

Fairfax. (Stops her gently) No, I don’t think you’d care for it. Let us talk about ourselves. You don’t forget your promise to marry me?

Molly. I don’t forget – but I don’t know what papa’ll say – you see, he has only one daughter.

Fairfax. That will be all right. I only want one. But I say, look! (Points off, bus. kisses her.)

Molly. No, no flirting – not this morning! I believe you learnt that in there – take me inside!

Fairfax. You surely don’t want me to go in there amongst a lot of Japanese tea-girls?

Molly. Yes, I do - (Catches sight of flower in his coat) I want to see which of them gave you that! (Snatches flower) And you’ll catch it!

Fairfax. What for?

Molly. For wearing a flower in uniform.

Fairfax. (Hesitates) I bought it for you – and I bought a pin, too!

Molly. (Turns away and laughs) Did you? Now take me into the doll’s house.

Fairfax. It’s not a doll’s house, it’s a Tea House.

Molly. A Tea House with live dolls in it! And I believe you’ve been nursing some of them!

Fairfax. Oh no, I haven’t! I’m too old for dolls!

Molly. You usen’t to be. Do you remember when you used to nurse mine, and then try to nurse me?
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