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The Geisha

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Entrance of Officers

Chorus. Here they come! Oh, look and see!
Great big English sailor men!
Englishman he likes our tea,
Comes to taste it now and then.
Great big sailors walk like this (imitating)
Fight with any man they please –
Marry little English Miss,
Flirt with pretty Japanese!
Here they come! etc.

Enter Fairfax, Cunningham, Grimston, Bronville and Stanley.

Fairfax. Tho’ you’ve seen a good deal in your walks about,
Here’s the prettiest place of the lot!
It’s the Tea House that everyone talks about,
A delightfully curious spot.

Cunningham. Are your stories a myth and a mockery
Of the excellent tea that they bring,
Of the quaint little pieces of crockery,
And the gay little geisha who sing?

Officers. Oh, we’ve heard of the frolic and fun
Of those dear little Japanese elves,
So we thought the best thing to be done
Was to come here and see for ourselves.

Chorus. Oh, we’ve heard of the frolic and fun, etc.

Pretty geisha will amuse,
Dance or song she won’t refuse,
Great big English sailors, please
Try our tea-pot Japanese!
Sailors please oh try our tea-pot Japanese.

Fairfax. Now boys, here we are! This is the place I told you of – the Tea House of Ten Thousand Joys!

Bronville. (Chucking a Geisha under the chin) We don’t want ten thousand of them – two or three will be enough to go on with!

Fairfax. (Laughing) Well, you’ve heard me talk of the geisha of Japan. Now you’ll find that I didn’t say half enough in their favour!

Cunningham. If these are a few specimens, I must say that I’m satisfied!

Flirting between Officers and Geisha – except Fairfax, who stands aloof. Enter Wun-Hi from Tea House.

Stanley. So am I. All you girls are very small. Don’t you grow much in this country?

Violet. Sailor officer, we have no time, we are always so busy in Tea House.

Fairfax. (To Wun-Hi) Where is Mimosa?

Wun-Hi. O Mimosa San is in Tea House, makee wait and makee sing for English sailor officer. (Fairfax gives money) Thank you very muchee, capital Captain! (Exit into Tea House)

Fairfax. All right. And now, boys, I am going to leave you for a time.

Cunningham. Leave us? Where are you going to?

Fairfax. Never you mind! You will get on very well without me! (Indicating Geisha) I have another engagement! (Laughs) You see, this is not the first time I’ve been here!

Stanley. Do let me come!

Fairfax. No, you mustn’t follow me. This is no place for little boys. (Exits into Tea House)

Cunningham. What’s your name?

Violet. Little Violet.

Blossom. That English Officer has gone to see O Mimosa San.

Cunningham. Holy Moses who?

Violet. O Mimosa San.

Cunningham. Who’s that?

Violet. Oh, you stupid officer! (To other Girls) This English officer doesn’t know who Mimosa is!

Golden H. How silly!

Cunningham. I’m silly, am I? I daresay you’d feel silly in our country. Come and tell me what it is – fish, flesh or foul?

Blossom. O Mimosa San is a great geisha. The finest singer in all Japan. And she sings to your officer every afternoon.

Cunningham. Then that is why he comes here! I’ll tell his mother. I suppose she loves him very much?

Violet, Oh, no, geisha have nothing to do with love.

Cunningham. Well, I hear a different yarn on board our ship.

Song – Cunningham and Little Violet

Cunningham. There came to the land of Japan
To the seaport of fair Nagasaki,
From an island afar
Such a jolly Jack Tar,
With his hornpipe, his grog and his baccy!
Now it chanced that he picked up a fan
For a dear little Japanese party,
And he turned her young head
When he gallantly said:
“You’re a trim little vessel, my hearty!”

So that dear little Jappy, Jap, Jappy,

Set her smart little cappy, cap, cappy
At that jolly Jack Tar
From the island afar
In the West of the mappy, map, mappy!

Cunningham So that dear little Jappy, Jap, Jappy, etc.
& Violet.

Cunningham. They walk’d in the shade of the trees
In the garden of fair Nagasaki,
And her cheeks they were pink
At the nautical wink
And the maritime manners of Jacky!
Though the Tar couldn’t speak Japanese,
Yet in English he asked her to marry,
Then she crept to his side
And her fan opened wide
As she murmured: “Hai! Kashikomari!”

But he knew not a scrappy, scrap, scrappy

Of the language of Jappy, Jap, Jappy
Had she told him to go
With a Japanese “No!”
Or with “Yes” made him happy, hap, happy?

Cunningham But he knew not a scrappy, scrap, scrappy, etc.
& Violet.

Cunningham. So Jack has departed in doubt
From that maiden of fair Nagasaki:
Tho’ he wept and he sighed
At the loss of a bride,
Till the captain and crew thought him cracky.
And he vows, as he cruises about,
Though by lessons and books as a rule bored,
That all seamen A. B.’s
Should be taught Japanese,
By a rather too liberal School Board!

But that dear little Jappy, Jap, Jappy,

She has filled up the gappy, gap, gappy
And has chosen instead
To be happily wed
To a Japanese chappy, chap, chappy!

Cunningham But that dear little Jappy, Jap, Jappy, etc.
& Violet.

Dance and Exeunt.

Enter Wun-Hi from Tea House.

Wun-Hi. Very nice – very good indeed! Our busy season has commenced. Now Frenchee girl, come this side. Chop, chop!

Enter Juliette.

Juliette. Well, Monsieur le Chinois, here I am, ready for my work. What shall I do?

Wun-Hi. You little interpreter? You speakee English welly well?

Juliette. Yes.

Wun-Hi. Me speakee English too! Damn! Me learn that from noble shippee sailor man – what time foreign devil come my Tea House, you makee understand what little geisha speakee, you makee do that?

Juliette. It is easy. Men make love the same in all countries. There is only one language for love.

Wun-Hi. Yes, me know – good language before malliage, after malliage, bad language. And, Frenchee girlee – you know language for love, too?

Juliette. I should think so – or you wouldn’t have engaged me in your Tea House.

Enter Chrysanthemum.

Chrysanth. The Marquis Imari is coming!

Juliette. A Marquis! Tell me, Chinois, who is he?

Wun-Hi. He great big mannee – Governor of this Province – and Number One mannee Chief Magistrate.

Juliette. What does he want here?

Wun-Hi. Oh dearee me! Oh dearee me! This is very awkward – and most obstrepulous! He wantee O Mimosa San, and O Mimosa San makee sing-song for English officer, who givee me plenty much money. What will Wun-Hi tell Marquis?

Juliette. A Chinaman is never at a loss for a lie.

Wun-Hi. Me very like a woman! Oh, here he comes! The is very awkward, most unrelishable. What me do? You, Frenchee girl, be very nice to Marquis. Perhaps Marquis like French girlee – leave Mimosa San – makee much money for me!

Music. Enter Imari over bridge, followed by Takemini carrying umbrella.

Juliette. Be nice to a Marquis! I should think I would. Japanese Marquis would be a great success in Paris.

Wun-Hi. Most Noble Marquis, plenty much welcome!

Imari. Of course I am welcome, Chinaman! Yes, but where is the light of my eyes, the arch of my eyebrows – the bloom of my lips – the inner circle of my heart – where is Mimosa?

Wun-Hi. Me bringee O Mimosa San to you (Turns to go).

Imari. Stay! She must not yet know the honour in store for her.

Wun-Hi. (Aside) Good gette out for Chinaman, Marquis not know Mimosa sing better for officer! (Aloud) Most Noble likee O Mimosa San, that belongee welly great honour!

Imari. I am going to exalt her further. I have applied for the Emperor’s permission to marry O Mimosa San.

Wun-Hi. (Gesture of surprise) Marry her?

Juliette. (Aside) I hope I’m not too late!

Wun-Hi. Most Noble marry O Mimosa San? Makee marriage for always – not Japanese marriage?

Imari. I shall be her husband permanently, if not exclusively. I expect the Imperial permission at once, and I shall marry O Mimosa San to-morrow.

Wun-Hi. Suppose you do that, me losee geisha catchee most money! If Noble Marquis marry O Mimosa San, pay Wun-Hi plenty much money.

Imari. Not a yen! (Hits hand with fan) You Asiatic bloodsucker. The fact that she married into aristocracy will be an excellent advertisement for your Tea House.

Wun-Hi. (Wringing hands) Suppose Wun-Hi losee O Mimosa San, Wun-Hi be ruined little mannee!

Imari. I shall still allow you to sell tea.

Wun-Hi. O thank you very much!

Imari. Meanwhile, remember this – don’t let any of those foreigners see O Mimosa San – reserve her for me solely!

Juliette. (Aside) For him solely! Not if I can help it!

Wun-Hi. Very well, Marquis. Wun-Hi makee obedience.

Imari. Of course you must, for if you don’t I shall revoke your licence for this Tea House. You understand?

Wun-Hi. I understand you makee destroy me suppose you want to.

Imari. I can and will unless you obey me. What is the good of my high official position if I don’t use it to gratify my private tastes? (Turns to go, when Juliette puts herself in front of him as though by accident.) Who is this? A new geisha?

Juliette. (Making a very low obeisance) No, most wonderful Marquis, I am not a geisha – I am a tea-girl.

Imari. A tea-girl? With the lid off.

Juliette. From France.

Imari. You’re a long way from home.

Juliette. Oh, I love the Japanese nobility!

Imari. Really? A very intelligent foreigner. We do get a few of them over here.

Juliette. I came to visit your country and I shall remain for ever if the Most Marvellous Marquis will permit.

Imari. I think I may graciously allow that. (Aside) She seems quite a superior preson. (Aloud) What are you staring at?

Juliette. Forgive me, most remarkable Marquis, but a poor French girl seldom sees such a great and beautiful nobleman.

Imari. (Patting her head) Poor girl, I suppose it is a treat for her! There, you may walk part of the way home with me. The other half’s engaged. Wun-Hi, remember that to-morrow I marry O Mimosa San. Come along, first half!

Exit Imari, followed by Takemini.

Juliette. (To Wun-Hi on exit) Le premier pas! It begins very well! (Exit)

Wun-Hi. Oh yes, you are all right. What price me, Marquis marry O Mimosa San, my number one geisha girl! What fashion I take her from Englishman sailor officer who pay so wellee? (Shakes fist after Imari) You belong vellee wicked man! (English Party laugh off) English Missee comee, more customers – female foreign devils this time! (Exit)

Enter Lady Constance Wynne, Ethel Hurst, Mabel Grant and Marie Worthington.

Lady C. How those rickshaw men do gallop along! If they went as fast in our country they’d find a police trap at every half mile!

Ethel. (With guide book) The guide book doesn’t say anything about those fast men.

Lady C. No, guide books tell most about the fast women.

Marie. (Making notes in pocket book) It’s an interesting subject. When I’ve finished my work on Japan, I’ll write a book and call it “Women of Every Country.” (Makes note)

Lady C. Don’t ask me to read it.

Mabel. So this is the Tea House! I wonder if we shall see anything very naughty?

Lady C. No, but unless I’m wrong we shall see Reggie Fairfax and that wonderful singing girl he is always talking about.

Mabel. Reggie wouldn’t bother about her while Molly Seamore is here.

Ethel. Surely you can trust an engaged man?

Lady C. Even an engagement doesn’t keep a man away from other girls when you are in Japan.

Mabel. (Sigh) Oh dear, what a pity we can’t travel in some country where there are no other girls!

Lady C. Now girls, don’t complain! You can’t expect a Paradise on earth, even in Japan. (Music – Mimosa sings off) It is Reggie – and oh! such a pretty Japanese girl!

Girls stroll away and seat themselves under trees, leaving Lady C. leaning against post of Tea House.

Mimosa enters, followed by Nami who places cushions for her. Mimosa then turns and beckons Fairfax to join her – he comes down stage to her, carrying small cup of tea which he drinks during first verse of song, and Nami brings him a stool, which she places R. of the cushion and exits. All this is done during the symphony.
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