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69 love songs a musical review in two acts

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Created by Jon Morris


A musical review in two acts

By Jon Morris

Songs by Stephin Merritt & The Magnetic Fields

Text by Charles Mee & Jon Morris
Draft 2

September 9, 2002


Jon Morris

Please do not distribute without permission of the author.

© 2002 Jon Morris


KERI… Smart precise passionate

BILLIE… Flirt with a doctorate

JEAN… Unbelievably charming & a bit French (in attitude)

MIKE… Clumsy philosopher poet

MC, TALK SHOW HOST, & 2nd HOST… Transsexual rock star bar tender

VIVA… Hipster guitar playing singer


  1. Luckiest Guy on the Lower East Side.

  2. Come back from San Fransisco

  3. Long Forgotton Fairytale

  4. The Way You Say Goodnight

  5. How Fucking Romantic

  6. All My Little Words

  7. Reno Dakota

  8. A Pretty Girl Is Like

  9. Crazy For You (But Not That Crazy)

  10. Lets Pretend We’re Bunny Rabbits


  1. Love IS Like A Bottle OF Gin

  2. Queen of the Savages

  3. The Night You Can’t Remember


  1. Roses

  2. I’m Sorry That I Love You.

  3. Acoustic Guitar

  4. Papa Was A Rodeo

  5. It’s A Crime

  6. Yeah Oh Yeah

  7. Busby Berkeley Dreams

  8. Nothing Matters When We’re Dancing

This is New York’s Lower East Side—Chic, hip, with an edge; a cabaret. There should be a raised area upstage for the band, a performance space downstage, and a bar to one side. A mix of furniture is scattered throughout; raised bed, sway back couch, chair…. VIDEO images projected on the back wall will play throughout for an ever-changing backdrop.
A woman’s white summer dress hangs from a single tree branch suspended over the space. The branch is one fourth each; bare winter, flowered spring, green summer, and red sugar maple fall.
It is not so much a set for a play, as an installation piece

in which a performance occurs, something against which the piece can resonate; 100 stars suspended from the ceiling, a spiral staircase, 300 red hearts on the floor, a disco ball.

The audience may eat and drink as waiters serve the house throughout. The band plays Lounge Love songs from the 69 and other famous love song hits from house open. They finish their last song and exit.
MC steps out of the sky, from behind the bar, leaps over a couch & speaks into a cordless microphone. VIDEO is projected backstage center



In the beginning there was God and God is love?

Therefore in the beginning there was?


The way I see it, following the word of religion and/or science,

The world began,

not with God or a giant world turtle, or a serpent, Or a big BANG,

But with an explosion of love

An overwhelming thumping heart of love

which keeps the world beating at a rabid pace.

[An explosion is heard through the speakers.]
Good Evening.

Is everybody Happy?

Here, everything starts and stops with love.

YES! Love! Love, Love,

So if in the beginning there was love,

How many of you have had love from the beginning?

You two there… in love from the beginning?

Pining for one another, romantic sunsets by the ocean,

Or a moonlit dinner in the mountains,

Perhaps a candlelit drink in a cabaret?


How does love begin? Why does love exist? Why do we exist?

This is what we are here to find out!

TONIGHT we will play music, we will dance, we will sing,

And hopefully we will find love,

No matter how beautiful or how tragic.

But first, for tonight, for the magic and fantasy of the theatre

It’s VALENTINES DAY! YES! Oh, I love valentines day!

The flowers, the colors, the red, I love red, the pounding hearts.


So let’s begin tonight with a dream

A dream of Love!

Everyone close your eyes.

Now, with your eyes closed I want you to drift into memory to the last time you felt love. Any kind of love trust your memory and let it take you to the last time you felt love.

[MC Exits the stage but his voice is still heard through the speakers so audience still believes he is on stage. MIKE enters, stands center, eyes closed, in the same position MC was in when the audience closed their eyes.]
So now , does everyone have there moment.

Think about that moment…

How did you feel? How did your skin feel?

Your toes? Your heartbeat?

What time of day was it? Where were you?

The sun, A Summers day, A red red rose…

How does this make you feel right now, tonight?

Now, lets try to keep this feeling in mind and hopefully body for

this evening we are to spend together.

When you’re satisfied with your feelings open your eyes.

[MC’s voice slowly fades from the speakers to a radio on stage with NOTHING MATTERS WHEN WE’RE DANCING playing in the background.]
And now, with this feeling

Are you seeing the world a little differently…

Open hearted to the world,

Open to those around you…

Open to today’s possibilities,
[Il libro di amore(THE BOOK OF LOVE)drops from the ceiling just missing MIKE’s head. BOOM is heard from the speakers. MIKE opens his eyes and is confused.]
Open to anything that may happen tonight.
This is what living with love is all about. Now go forth into the world with this new gained knowledge, this new perspective, this new openness to the world like thousands of others have done after reading my book, “LIVING WITH LOVE.”
[The love song comes to an end on the radio just as MC finishes Speaking. The stage direction below takes place during the following dialogue from the radio. MIKE is trying to read Il libro di amore. BILLIE enters on rollerblades doing tricks and filing her nails, MIKE tries to get her attention… a latzo which finally ends in him jumping in front of her. She bumps into him, he falls over. She skates away hops on the bed and bats her eyes at him and goes back to doing her nails. MIKE stares to BILLIE for a while then begins making a heart out of his bookmark to give to her. This scene is to establish their relationship for the audience from the start.]

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