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Waitress comes in and puts some bread on the table


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Magnolia
Claudia

Did you ever go out with someone and just lie, question after question? Maybe you are trying to make yourself look cool or better than you are or whatever, smarter, cooler and you just.. Not really lie, but maybe you just don’t say everything.


Jim

That’s a natural thing, You know, two people go out on a date or something. They want to impress people, the other person. Or the are scared they’ll say something that will make the other person not like them.


(Waitress comes in and puts some bread on the table)
Claudia/ Jim

Thank you, Thank you


Claudia

So you’ve done it?


Jim

I don’t go out very often.


Claudia

Why not?
Jim

I never found someone, really, that I’d like to go out with.
Claudia

I bet you say that to all the girls.


Jim

No.
Claudia

Want to make a deal with me?
Jim

Ok.
Claudia

What I just said… people afraid to say things, no guts to say the things that are real or something.

Jim


Yeah.
Claudia

To not do that. To not do that, that maybe we’ve done before.


Jim

Let’s make a deal.


Claudia

Ok. I’ll tell you everything and you tell me everything and maybe we can get through all the piss, shit and lies that kill other people.


Jim

Ohh.. uh. ‘piss and shit”


Claudia

What?
Jim

You really use strong language.
Claudia

I am sorry.


Jim

No, It’s fine.


Claudia

I didn’t mean--- It seems vulgar or something, I know.


Jim

It’s fine.


Claudia

I’m sorry.


Jim

No, it’s nothing. I am sorry.


Claudia

I am gonna run to the bathroom for a minute maybe, just..


Jim

Ok.


Claudia

Ok.
(She comes back from the bathroom and gives a kiss)


Claudia

I wanted to do that.


Jim

Well…
Claudia

That felt good to do—to do what I wanted.
Jim

Yeah.
Claudia

Can I tell you something?
Jim

Yeah, of course.


Claudia

I am really nervous that you are gonna hate me soon. You are going to find stuff out about me and hate me.


Jim

No. Like what? What do you mean?


Claudia

You have so much, so many good things and you seem so together. You are a police officer and you seem so straight and put together without any problems.


Jim

I lost my gun today.


Claudia

What?


Jim

I lost my gun today. I lost my gun today when I left you, and I am the laughingstock of a lot of people. I wanted to tell you. I wanted you to know. It’s on my mind. It makes me look like a fool. And I feel like a fool. You asked that we should say things, say things that we’re thinking and not lie about things. I can tell you that I lost my gun today. I am not a good cop. I’m looked down at, and I know that and I am scared that once you find out, you won’t like me.


Claudia

Jim, that was so great.


Jim

I’m sorry.


Claudia

What you just said.


Jim

I haven’t been on a date since I was married, and that was three years ago. Whatever you want to tell me, whatever you think might scare me won’t. I’ll listen to you. I’ll be a good listener if that’s what you want. And I won’t judge you. I do that sometimes. I won’t. I can listen. And you shouldn’t be scared of scaring me off or whatever you think that I think and on and on. Just say it, whatever it is, and I’ll listen.


Claudia

You don’t know how stupid and crazy I am.


Jim

It’s ok.
Claudia

I got troubles, ok?
Jim

I will take everything at face value. I will listen.


Claudia

I started this, didn’t I? Fuck!


Jim

Whatever it is, just say it. You’ll see.


Claudia

You want to kiss me?


Jim


Yes, I do.

(They kiss)


Claudia

Now that I’ve me you, would you object to never seeing me again?


Jim

What?
Claudia

Just say no.
Jim

I won’t say no, wait Claudia.


Claudia

Just let me go, Jimmy.


Jim

What is it?


Claudia

Please, please.


(She exits)


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