|THE ONE WHO LOVES YOU UNDERSTOOD, BUT YOU DID NOT.
EXISTENCE IS ALWAYS COMPASSIONATE towards you -- it is bound to be so. It has created you. The painter loves his painting, the poet loves his poetry -- existence loves you. Existence goes on creating people. Unless there is great love in the very center of existence, life will disappear. Who will sustain you? Who goes on breathing in you? It is a mystery! Who goes on circulating in your blood? -- it is a mystery. Who beats in your heart? -- it is a mystery. Who is alert and aware in you? -- it is a mystery.
But one thing is certain, absolutely certain, call it God or call it existence -- the whole loves you. And the whole goes on showering with grace and gifts, and each moment it is pouring on you. If you remain a beggar, only you are responsible, nobody else. Existence would like you to be an emperor.
THE ONE WHO LOVES YOU UNDERSTOOD, BUT YOU DID NOT.
Existence understands you, but you don't understand existence. And sometimes when you come to a man who has understood existence -- that's what enlightenment is all about -- he also loves you, but you will not understand him either. You have lost the capacity to trust, because trust comes only as a shadow of love. If love is missing, trust will be missed.
You live in thoughts, and thoughts create doubt. Thoughts are based in doubt -- the greater the thinker, the more and more he has to enter into doubt.
Here, being with mc, you are not to be great thinkers, because the thinkers miss all. They only live in their thoughts, and thoughts are castles in the air. Nothing about those thoughts is existential; they can spin and weave beautiful systems, but they are all useless -- you cannot live in them. And they dissipate your energy.
Be lovers, not thinkers! If you truly want to be religious, be lovers not thinkers. And the heart has its own reasons that reason knows not. Once you have started moving into the world of love, you will be surprised that a new phenomenon starts arising in you: the phenomenon of trust -- SHRADDHA. And that is the greatest experience in life: to trust -- because the man who trusts transforms not himself, but transforms his whole world. He starts living in a totally different world.
Doubt, and you are expelled from the Garden of Eden. Trust, and you are received back, welcomed back -- you are home again.
The man fell over a cliff and in the last moment was able to get hold of a branch that was sticking out of the wall. He heard voices above and shouted for help, "God, help me! Is there anyone up there?"
The answer came, in a deep voice, "My son, relax, let go of the branch."
The man could hardly believe what he had heard and yelled, Is there anyone else up there?"
Even if God responds to you, you will not understand. You cannot relax because you cannot trust. The modern man suffers from great anxiety; it has never been so -- man has never suffered so much from anxiety. Why is there so much anxiety? Amidst so much scientific, technological growth, amidst so much affluence, why does man suffer, why is man in so much anxiety? One thing has disappeared from his heart: trust is no more there, only doubt... doubt and doubt. You are surrounded by doubts, a thousand and one doubts. They are like ghosts torturing you. Your life has become a nightmare.
But remember again: nobody is responsible except you. You can be surrounded by trust, by the milieu of trust, by a climate of trust. And when the climate of trust is there, the spring has come -- you start blossoming, for the first time you start releasing your fragrance. Flowers burst forth, life becomes a celebration.
THE ONE WHO LOVES YOU UNDERSTOOD, BUT YOU DID NOT. YOU FORGOT TO MAKE A PLACE IN YOUR BED NEXT TO YOU. Listen to the words of Kabir: he is talking in the language of love. God has not to be worshipped but loved -- prepare a place for him in your bed.
YOU FORGOT TO MAKE A PLACE IN YOUR BED NEXT TO YOU. INSTEAD YOU SPENT YOUR LIFE PLAYING.
Playing with toys -- money, power, prestige -- ALL toys. And all is vain, because death will take everything away. And you KNOW it! And still you go on clinging, because the idea in your head is: anything is better than nothing. You will have to change it -- you will have to change it diametrically. You will have to learn: nothing is better than anything -- because it is in nothing, in nothingness, in emptiness, in silence, that you become a womb so that God can descend in you.
IN YOUR TWENTIES YOU DID NOT GROW BECAUSE YOU DID NOT KNOW WHO YOUR LORD WAS.
YOU HAVE LOST YOUR YOUTH, which was the MOST precious time. Birth is missed, but it can be forgiven; love missed cannot be forgiven. You wasted your youth on playthings -- you did not really love. Your love never became prayer; your love never attained the glories that it contains in it -- your love remained lust, your love remained a very mundane passion. Your love remained sexual: it never became spiritual.
And love has two aspects: one is sexual, the other is spiritual. And unless love becomes spiritual, it keeps you in the mud; you cannot fly in the sky, you cannot have wings.
And remember: sexual love does not contain spiritual love, but spiritual love CAN contain sexual love -- but then it changes the quality of the sexual love too. This is one of the fundamental laws: the higher contains the lower, but the lower does not contain the higher. So don't be worried and afraid that if you rise higher in your love the joys of your sex will disappear -- no -- they will become intenser, more orgasmic. They will become more deep, more satisfying, more penetrating, and they will have a quality which is not of this world. Your orgasms will not be simply sexual -- they will have the quality of meditativeness in them. Time will disappear and ego will disappear, and for a few moments you will be in God. Your beloved will disappear, you will disappear... the twoness will disappear and there will be oneness, and you will feel an orgasmic oneness with the whole.
IN YOUR TWENTIES YOU DID NOT GROW...
Very few people grow up. People simply grow old, but they never grow up. And growing old is not growing up.
... BECAUSE YOU DID NOT KNOW WHO YOUR LORD WAS.
When you fall in love with a woman do you think you are falling in love with a woman? If you ask Kabir or if you ask me I will tell you you are not falling in love with a woman -- nobody has ever fallen in love with a woman or with a man: you have had a glimpse of the God in the woman... you have fallen in love with that glimpse.
One ALWAYS falls in love with God. When the rose flower opens up its petals in the morning, fresh with the morning dew, dancing in the morning wind, just joyous with the sun, and you fall in love, do you think you are falling in love with the chemistry of the rose? -- no -- but with the soul. You don't fall in love with the chemistry of a man or a woman, you don't fall in love with the biology -- you fall in love with something invisible, intangible. You may not know it! -- and that is your misery. If you knew it then each love would be prayer, then each love would bring you closer and closer to God, then your gestalt would be different, then your love would not be so much rooted in the earth -- it would have wings, it would have the capacity to fly.
Kabir says, You missed, you could not grow:
... BECAUSE YOU DID NOT KNOW WHO YOUR LORD WAS.
WAKE UP! WAKE UP! THERE IS NO ONE IN YOUR BED --
HE LEFT YOU DURING THE LONG NIGHT.
And this happens again and again: you fall in love with a man or a woman and soon everything disappears, the Lord is gone -- because you never paid any attention to the Lord. You became too much focussed on the physical, hence the spiritual disappears. Almost always by the time the honeymoon is over, love is finished -- by that time the Lord is gone. Then only two physical bodies...
Two physical bodies can have a few sexual contacts, but no sexual contact can ever be satisfying, fulfilling. It brings more and more frustration. All sexual experiences end in frustration; in the wake comes great frustration, a kind of hopelessness. And the reason is that you paid attention to the wrong side, you became too much interested in the physical and you did not pay enough respect to the spiritual.
If you focus on the spiritual, by and by the physical becomes secondary. And then the honeymoon is the beginning of a great love affair. It doesn't end with the honeymoon; in fact, it only starts after the honeymoon is over. Then it is a totally different phenomenon. Intimacy goes on growing and growing. Sexuality becomes less and less; intimacy becomes more and more, deeper and deeper.
And soon you find the beloved is not just the woman: the beloved is the ultimate Beloved. And then there is great reverence for the other. And then love gives freedom, and then love does not possess; then love has no violence in it. Then love is sacred, holy.
WAKE UP! WAKE UP! THERE IS NO ONE IN YOUR BED -- HE LEFT YOU DURING THE LONG NIGHT.
But you go on making love, and the lover is gone! You are making love to a corpse when the love is gone. When the Lord has disappeared, when you no longer see in the eyes of your woman or man the presence of God, you are making love to a corpse. How can it give you contentment? And how can it help you to soar high.
Yes, in some moments you imagine, in some moments the nostalgia of the past... those beautiful days which are just like dreams now; in fact it is unbelievable that they ever happened. But people are living in imagination, not in reality. If you live in reality, God is everywhere. If you live in imagination, then you are living in a loneliness, there is no God -- the world is empty, then the world has no meaning, then the world is just a nightmare.
The priest, the parson and the rabbi were walking down the street together in New York when they came upon a grubby urchin sitting on the kerb, playing with himself.
The priest was outraged and went over to the kid and asked, "How can a child of decent Catholic parents behave in such an unspeakable fashion?"
Without missing a stroke, the youngster retorted, "Push off! I am not Catholic, and anyway I am not doing what YOU think I am doing."
Speechless, the priest retreated to his companions. The parson took it upon himself to remonstrate with the boy. How can you behave so sinfully after everything you have been taught in chapel?"
"Push off!" said the kid. "I am not Protestant, and anyway I am not doing what you think I am doing." With his tail between his legs, the parson rejoined the other two clergymen.
"This is outrageous," said the rabbi. Striding over to the urchin, he thundered, "Little boy, little boy, you have been raised in accordance with the law of your forefathers and of their forefathers before them. How dare you behave in such an unspeakably vile manner?"
"Aw, push off and leave me alone," the boy responded. "I am not Jewish and anyway I am not doing what you think I am doing."
"In that case," demanded the rabbi, WHO do you think you are and what do you think you are doing?"
"Well, if you must know," said the child, "I am a Christian Scientist and I am making love with my girlfriend in Poona."
From New York... Christian Scientists can do such things, because they think the whole world is nothing but thought. The world is not thought, and if you live in thoughts you will miss the reality of the world. Come out of your thoughts -- that's what Kabir means when he says: Wake up! Wake up!
Move from the head to the heart. A heart wakefulness is needed. Don't live in imagination. Don't live in thoughts! Live in silence -- and only the heart knows how to be still, because in the heart there are no thoughts. Thoughts cannot penetrate into that innermost shrine. No noise ever penetrates there; it is absolute silence, it is virgin silence.
Move into the heart, and suddenly you will see yourself waking up in a totally different kind of waking that you have not known ever before. Your whole life will become full of light and full of life and full of love, and full of energy. And wherever energy is there is delight. Overflowing energy is delight.
Kabir says: THE ONLY WOMAN AWAKE IS THE WOMAN WHO HAS HEARD THE FLUTE!
AND ONLY IN THE HEART, in the deepest recesses of your heart, will you hear the flute of Krishna. This is just a metaphor: you will hear the music, the celestial music of existence, what Zen people call the sound of one hand clapping, what other mystics have called the soundless sound, what in India the Upanishadic seers have called Omkar -- the sound of Aum. Kabir calls it 'the flute' -- the flute of Krishna.
THE ONLY WOMAN... Remember, again he uses the word 'woman'.
THE ONLY WOMAN AWAKE IS THE WOMAN WHO HAS HEARD THE FLUTE! And unless you have heard the flute, don't rest. Go on searching and seeking inwards. A moment comes when you hear the flute, when suddenly a celestial music bursts forth in you. You will be bathed in a totally new experience -- the experience of deathlessness, the experience of timelessness; not the experience that God is present, but the experience that "I am part of God, God is part of me -- I am God -- AHAM BRAHMASMI! ANA'L HAQ! -- I am truth!"
Jesus says: "I am truth! I am the door, I am the way." About whom is he talking? Is he talking about the son of Joseph the carpenter? No. He is talking about the innermost core of your being which is immortal -- he is talking about the flute that he has heard, he is talking about the one hand clapping, creating sound. He is talking about the cosmic sound, the cosmic melody.
THE ONLY WOMAN AWAKE IS THE WOMAN WHO HAS HEARD THE FLUTE!
Remember, till you have heard the flute you are asleep, till you have started feeling God everywhere you are asleep. The only criterion to judge whether you are awake or asleep is this: Do you see the world as matter? -- then you are asleep. Do you see the world as divine? I am not saying: Do you believe? I am saying: Do you see, experience the world as divine? -- then you are awake.
I PLAYED TOR TEN YEARS WITH THE GIRLS MY OWN AGE BUT NOW I AM SUDDENLY IN FEAR.
Kabir says: I have been playing with the same kind of seekers.
I PLAYED TOR TEN YEARS WITH THE GIRLS MY OWN AGE...
Remember, again he use the word 'girls'. He was moving with seekers, searchers, he was sitting in satsang, singing songs of God, dancing, meditating.
I PLAYED FOR TEN YEARS WITH THE GIRLS MY OWN AGE BUT NOW I AM SUDDENLY IN FEAR.
But when you really start approaching closer to the heart, a great fear grips you. Hence, whenever a sannyasin comes to me and says, "I am very much afraid of you," I always say this is a good sign. It simply means the head is losing its grip on you and the heart is coming closer. The fear arises because the head says, "Now, you are falling in danger. Who will protect you? I was protecting you. Who will guard you? I was guarding you. Who will keep you on the right track? Now you are moving into the madness of the heart, you are going beyond me -- I will not be of any help. And you have depended on me up to now. I have been your security, your safety."
Hence, the fear arises.
I AM ON THE WAY UP SOME STAIRS...
Kabir says: Now, some doors are opening -- some stairs I can see going upwards.
... THEY ARE HIGH.
And they are high -- higher than me. I will have to surpass myself, hence the fear. I will have to transcend myself, I will have to drop the ego and go without the ego, and I will have to drop the whole baggage of the mind and go unburdened -- hence the fear.
YET I HAVE TO GIVE UP MY FEARS IF I WANT TO TAKE PART IN THIS LOVE. One has to give up one's fears if one wants to live in love, because it is the SAME energy that becomes fear and that becomes love. If you live in fear, your energy will remain involved, occupied, vested in fear. Drop the fears. Risk... and suddenly the same energy that was contained in the fear is released and becomes a flower of love.
YET I HAVE TO GIVE UP MY F EARS IF I WANT TO TAKE PART IN THIS LOVE.
I HAVE TO LET GO THE PROTECTIVE CLOTHES...
... all the defence measures, all the armours that you are carrying around yourself. One has to be in utter trust. One has to be ready to die -- even if existence kills, it is okay. Only then will you be able to drop your armour. And everybody is carrying a great armour around himself. We are carrying our prisons around ourselves; they are transparent prisons, but you know they are there.
If you want to reach somebody, suddenly there is a glass wall and you cannot reach. People come close, but not really close, because those two walls won't allow. Only walls clash. Hence, all lovers are in conflict -- it should not be so. Lovers should be in deep harmony, but they are in conflict because those walls don't allow you to be in harmony. Each is living in his fear and pretending to be loving -- that love is false, it is a mask.
I HAVE TO LET GO THE PROTECTIVE CLOTHES AND MEET HIM WITH THE WHOLE LENGTH OF MY BODY.
You have to face love utterly naked, absolutely vulnerable.
MY EYES WILL HAVE TO BE THE LOVE-CANDLES THIS TIME.
Enough time is wasted, so many lives wasted. Let your eyes be love-candles this time.
Kabir says: MEN AND WOMEN IN LOVE WILL UNDERSTAND THIS POEM.
This poem will not be understood by the scholars, by the pundits, by the so-called learned people. This poem can be understood only by a loving heart. This poem will be understood by you, my people, because my basic message is love. Love and love and nothing else... because love is enough unto itself.
Kabir says: MEN AND WOMEN IN LOVE WILL UNDERSTAND THIS POEM.
Nobody else will understand it.
IF WHAT YOU FEEL FOR THE HOLY ONE IS NOT DESIRE THEN WHAT IS THE USE OF DRESSING WITH SUCH CARE AND SPENDING SO MUCH TIME MAKING YOUR EYELIDS DARK?
PEOPLE GO TO THE TEMPLES, and the mosques, and the Churches and the gurudwaras -- for what? And you are not in love with God! It is so stupid. You need not waste your time in the temples and the churches if you are not in love. Then why go on...
... DRESSING WITH SUCH CARE AND SPENDING SO MUCH TIME MAKING YOUR EYELIDS DARK?
If you are NOT in love, then why go on doing these empty rituals? Do something else! Do something else that you love. Don't waste your time in the name of religion, because religion is possible only if you are in love. In a deep, intense love, only then is your prayer true. And then whatsoever you say has a sacred quality to it. You need not go to the temples then -- wherever you sit will be the temple. You need not do rituals: worshipping God with flowers and candles and this and that -- whatsoever you do will be your prayer.
Kabir says in another poem: I don't go to the temple, because wherever I sit I find him present all around me. He cannot be in the temples more -- he is not more and less and where: he is exactly the same everywhere.
Kabir says: I don't go with special food to offer to God -- when I eat, that is my offering to God. See the beauty of his statement. He says: When I eat, that is my offering to him -- because HE is inside me. Why should I go to a stone statue which cannot eat at all. If I have more food, I invite friends And when they eat, I know he has accepted my offerings.
Religion is not ritual, religion has nothing to do with formalities -- with Christianity, Hinduism, Islam. Religion is an individual love affair. Be in love with people, be in love with the world, be in love with trees and birds and animals and stars -- BE IN LOVE! And slowly slowly, your love will bun candles in your eyes and you will be able to see him.
He is present, but you are blind. He is playing on his flute, but you are deaf.
FRIEND, WAKE UP!
The Fish in the Sea is Not Thirsty
Chapter title: An Alive Buddhafield
15 April 1979 am in Buddha Hall
Archive code: 7904150
Length: 99 mins
The first question
OSHO, I AM HERE ONLY FOR A VERY SHORT VISIT. I HAVE COME TO TRY TO UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU HAVE HERE THAT THE REST OF THE WORLD DOES NOT. CAN YOU HELP ME?
I HAVE NOTHING TO OFFER TO YOU -- only nothing. But that is the greatest thing that can be given as a gift. My only advice to my people is to be nothing, to be nobodies, to be utterly nude of all the clothes that the society has given to you -- of thought, of religion, of philosophy -- utterly empty of all the conditionings that have been forced on you by others, utterly devoid of all the inhibitions and taboos that time has gathered around you like dust.
If you can be an empty mirror, then God is. In that empty mirror, God reflects -- and there is no other way.
I have nothing substantial to give to you, because all that is substantial is mundane. I have something intangible to give you, non-substantial, something that you cannot grasp with your hand, something that cannot be measured or weighed. It is called nothing, it is called meditation, it is called a state of consciousness without content.
But I can only point the way. I cannot give it to you. because it is untransferable. It is not a thing -- how can it be transferred? You cannot purchase it, you cannot steal it -- you can only allow it to happen. I am just a certain space, a certain context, in which this immensely potential nothing can happen. But all depends on you, not on me. All depends on you: if you allow it to happen, it will open doors into the divine, it will reveal to you the mysteries of life. It is not going to answer your questions, because life is not a question/answer thing, it is not a problem. It will dissolve your questions, certainly, although it will not solve them -- but you will be transformed. It is not knowledge that you will gain but knowing, eyes, insight.
But, Mrs. Ward, you say:
I AM ONLY HERE ON A VERY SHORT VISIT...
In such a hurry it is not possible. In such a hurry, you will not be able to relax, to imbibe. An ancient Zen story says:
A young man came to a Zen Master to learn about meditation. The Zen Master said, "Are you capable of waiting?"
The young man, of course, asked, "How long?"
The Zen Master said, "That is enough for me to reject you. To ask 'how long?' means you are not ready to wait. If you can simply wait without asking 'how long?' then you are capable of waiting."
The young man understood the point. He bowed down, remained with the Master.
One year passed, and not a single word was said to the disciple. And two years passed... and three years passed..."Now it is too much! Nothing has even been started, not a single lesson. How long can one wait?" Again the question became very prominent in his consciousness: "How long?"
He went to the Master and asked, "I have waited three years." The Master said, "So you have been counting? That simply shows you don't know how to wait. Counting? Counting days with the Master?
"In one sense, each moment is an eternity; in another sense, eternity is just a moment. You are unworthy! You will have to wait. You will have to learn how to wait. Be alert -- from tomorrow the lessons will start."
And the lesson was very strange: the young man was sweeping the floor; the Master came from the back and hit him hard with his staff on his back. Shocked, the young man said, "Is this the beginning of meditation? after three years of waiting?" The Master said, "Yes -- now be alert. I will hit you any moment, any time -- be watchful, be alert, be on your guard." And it continued for months. His whole body would ache in the night, because in the day many times it would happen: the Master would suddenly jump from somewhere... he was very old but he was really a cat.
But, slowly slowly, a strange awareness started arising in the young man. Just when the Master would be on the verge of hitting him, he would dodge -- even from the back; although he was occupied in his work a subtle awareness remained there. It was bound to be so; he was suffering so much. Pain is a must for growth, suffering is absolutely necessary for growth. Unless you suffer you cannot be aware. Suffering brings awareness, and voluntary suffering brings tremendous awareness. Willingly he was suffering! He could have escaped; nobody was preventing him -- it was his own choice. HE had chosen the Master.