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|  Yüklə 498.5 Kb.
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| “MARIO used MUSIC NOTE!”
“LUIGI fainted!” “LUIGI fainted due to horrible STARTING SPOT!”
“LUIGI fainted!” “LUIGI is out of useable lives!” “LUIGI whited out!” Just you and me, Como. “GIACOMO used BUT-BOUNCE!” “MARIO fainted!” Dooohh… “GIACOMO used PUSH!” “MARIO fainted!” Noooo! “MARIO is out of usable lives!” “MARIO whited out!” “GIACOMO wins!”
“SAL pissed his pants… AGAIN!” “BATTLE used END!”
Location: Littleroot Town, SAL’s House Player: OUTLAWRIKKS [record: 27-7-4]
“SAL wants to KNOW if he can have LOWERCASE LETTERS again!” “NARRATOR: NO! I AM THE ONE AND ONLY NARRATOR OF KANTO--- NOW OF HOENN! HAR HAR HAR! YOU RELEASED ME WHEN I WAS RELEASED FROM BLACK VERSION!” “SAL: Charming…” Heh.., whatever. “OUTLAWRIKKS used LOOK!” “OUTLAWRIKKS looked out WINDOW!” Wow… Looks like everyone’s here… Yup, look! There’s Brock’s Dad, Heart, McNabb, Jarjar… Yup, it seems nearly everyone is here. Funny, though, I don’t see Leah rpGamer or Oak around here… Wonder what happened to them… “EVERYONE doesn’t KNOW!” Hey… Who’s all in here anyway? “YOU, SAL, SPECIALVIKKS, and CINNAGOO” I see… So did anyone see where Leah, rpGamer and Oak ran off too? “SPECIALVIKKS: I saw OAK go through those BUSHES!” I see… “DOOR used KNOCK!” “DOOR is knocking!” Sal, go get that. “SAL used OPEN!” “It’s super effective!” “DOOR opened!” “PIZZAMAN appeared!” Ah, the Pizza man. How have you been, mate? “PIZZAMAN: Good… Hey, Vikks, Cinnagoo, ready to go?” “SPECIALVIKKS: Yea, sure. Mines well make the best of living in Hoenn…” “PIZZAMAN SPECIALVIKKS and CINNAGOO disapeared!”
“SAL: Hey, Pr. Bitch!” “PR. BIRCH: What did I say?! I’m BIRCH, not BITCH, think of Birchbear or something… “SAL: Whatever” “PR. BIRCH: So you are Rikks, and McNabb. Sal has told me much about you all. I take it that you are here to save the Hoenn Region.”
“OUTLAWRIKKS got 8 HOENN BADGES!” WHAT? YAY!!! “SAL: Don’t mention it. I have like 3 sets of Hoenn Badges. Gotta love Ebay.” Heh… Well thanks man. “SCREAMS can be HEARD from INSIDE nearby CAVE!” That’s my call. Well, see you Bitch later. “PR. BIRCH: Eherm… bye..?” Location: Nearby Cave Strange… In all odds, what is the chances of this cave actually being named “Nearby Cave” “PRETTY SLIM!” Bah… whatever. Where are those people? “Wild SEVIPER appeared!” “Wild SEVIPER is attacking a nearby PERSON!” GAH! DIE, VICIOUS POKEMON!” “Wild SEVIPER wants to fight!” Ha… ha … hahahahahaha! “Go! CHARMANDER!” Hurry! Use Mander! “CHARMANDER use MANDER!” “CHARMANDER summoned 10 SALAMANDERS!” Interesting. “Wild SEVIPER used EAT!” “Wild SEVIPER ate 5 SALAMANDERS!” Oh my god… “5 SALAMANDERS attacked!” “Wild SEVIPER fainted!” HAHAHA! Now who was the person we saved? “PERSON was renamed to LANCE!” DAD?! WHATS UP? “LANCE: There is something I must give you to aid you on your Pokemon Quest.” What’s that Lancey? “LANCE: FOR THE FINAL TIME, LANCE NOT--- GRRR! Why do I even bother?” Dunno, Lancey. “LANCE: Grrr! Do you want this or not?!” Sorry… “LANCE: Quite alright. Here. Take this Devil Pendant. “OUTLAWRIKKS got the DEVIL PENDANT!” Coooool! “What? OUTLAWRIKKS is evolving?” YESSS!! “OUTLAWRIKKS evolved into FLARIKKS!” “SAL: Duuuuuuuuuude! Rikks, you’re on fire… literally!” I… I can feel Flare Version’s power rushing through me… “LANCE: But everything costs something..” Huh? “FLARIKKS gained 10 LOSSES!” WHAT? NO FAIR! “LANCE: Too bad. I’ll be seeing more of you, my son.” “BATTLE used END!” Battle # 55, Strolling Along Location: Oldale Town Player: CINNAGOO [record: 6-4-2]
“TEAM MAGMA appears!” “TEAM AQUA and TEAM MAGMA are fighting!”
“TEAM MAGMA sends out 20 ZIGZAGOONs” “ZIGZAGOON used TACKLE!” “ZIGZAGOON used TACKLE!” … I stand corrected. Let’s go find something a bit more exciting, I’d rather not watch Level 30 Zigzagoons tackle eachother… Location: Route to the west Hmph.. BORING BORING BORING!! I can’t believe how boring this is…. “Wild RALTS appeared!” A Ralts? Lets see what the Pokedex has to say about it… “CINNADEX: Ralts. This POKeMON loves to eat CINNAMON. Be careful!” Shit. Just my luck too… “Wild RALTS wants to fight!” Cmon guys, you can help me… “SPECIALVIKKS and PIZZAMAN ran away!” WHAT? WHY? LOOK AT IT! IT’S SO SMALL “CINNAGOO realized that its LEVEL 100!” … DAMN IT! Ok… my mom can do this… “Go! HISMOMMY!” “Wild RALTS use VENOM BITE!” “HISMOMMY was poisoned!”
“It’s not very effective…” Oh yea… Ralts is like 5 feet smaller than my mom… forgot about that… “HISMOMMY fainted by poison!” HAHAHAHAHA! MY MOM IS DEAD! YAY YAY YAY! “The enemy wants to eat YOU, Get’m, TOONSKULL!” Ok, Toon skull! Quickly, use Terminate! “TOONSKULL used TERMINATE!” “It’s super idiotic!” WHAT? “Wild RALTS gathered up sunlight!” Damn… It’s preparing for Solarbeam… I can’t allow that!! Let’s see whats in my bag… “BAG: Potion x99 Super Potion x1 Master Ball x1”
Super Potion x1 MASTER BALL x1” You know, I’ve had that old thing for so long and I never figured out what it is… It looks like a Pokeball. But some dude named Poopavoni told me never to use it for a common pokemon… “WELL, A LEVEL 100 RALTS isn’t a COMMON POKeMON, is it?” Oooooh… “CINNAGOO used MASTERBALL!” “Wild RALTS was caught!” YAY!! “SPECIALVIKKS and PIZZAMAN come back!” “PIZZAMAN: Cool, dude. So like, I got directions to get to Peltaburg City.” Good… And I have a new invincible Pokemon to use at my disposal! HAHAHAHA! “BATTLE used END!” Battle #56, The Escape Location: Inside Pokeball Player: DANDAMAN [record: 0-1-0][captured by JARJARBINKS]
“JARJARBINKS: (Tell your Ho-oh to use Fire Sptiz!)" You heard him, Ho-oh. “HO-OH used FIRE SPITZ!” “Wild ZIGZAGOON fainted!” This would be when I get “returned” “JARJARBINKS: (Dan, return your Ho-oh.) … wait a sec… he can’t return me if my Pokemon is out… heh… NO! “JARJARBINKS: (What? How did you get to Level 40?!)” Hmph… I had to do something when I was in that dusty Pokeball… “JARJARBINKS: (What did you train on?!)” Oh, just the food you put in… “JARJARBINKS: (You got to Level 40 by training on Caterpies?!)” Yup. And now I’m starved. And it’s your fault. “JARJARBINKS: (Stop this now, before I force to destroy you in battle!)” Hmph… It’s go time! “JARJARBINKS wants to fight!” “YOU already have HO-OH out!” “JARJARBINKS sent out GHOST!”
“It’s super effective!” “GHOST fainted!”
“NARRATOR: I told you that that was A LONG time ago…” “JARJARBINKS: (grr!)” “JARJARBINKS sent out JARJARBINKS!” Ho-oh! Use Sky Dive! “HO-OH used SKY DIVE!” “HO-OH will reach the GROUND in 15 MINUTES!” … Great what am I going to do for 15 minutes?! “Go! DANDAMAN!” Oh. “Enemy JARJARBINKS used BOMB THROW!” “BOOM!”
“DANDAMAN used POKEATRONBOOZLE!” “JARJARBINKS is inflicted with LARGE AMMOUNTS of PAIN!” “JARJARBINKS fainted!”
Location: Romantic Garden in Peltaburg City Player: RIKKSMOM [2-0-0]
“LANCE: Yes, I’m here. Your Lancey is here.” Lancey… why did we ever brake up? “LANCE: Because you made me gay…” Oh yea… I’m sorry about your balls… you don’t mind do you? “LANCE: … … … … YES OF CORSE I MIND!” … Oh, well then I’m sorry. Can’t we put all this unpleasantness behind us? “LANCE: NOOOO!” Oh… ok then. Player: JAMES [record: 2-4-0] (Pokemon Lineup: WEEZING) You know…, after all that Kanto nonsense ended, Flare Version has been quite boring… WHATS THE POINT on this new land of nothingness? “YOU were hit by LIGHTNING BOLT!” OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! NARRATOR! DAM YOU! “IT WASN’T ME!” Then who..? “YAMIYUGI’s SPIRIT appeared!” Yami.. Yami Yugi!! GAH!! GET AWAY! “SPIRIT: I am but an illusion. The real me is in the Shadow Realm… errr--- Black Version.” Oh… I see. So what do you want from me? “SPIRIT: I want you to start a cult… The Cult of Moto!” Cult of Moto…? “SPIRIT: Yes… Tell them that rpGamer must be stopped at all costs!” … WHY SHOULD I? “SPIRIT drew FLARE GUN!” “SPIRIT: This is why.” GAH!!! Wait… you’re a spirit you can’t shoot! “SPIRIT: Want to test that theory?” “SPIRIT: Look, I only have a limited amount of time left on this Earth before my Spirit vanishes completely. Trust me, James! TRUST ME!” … Okay, I’ll do it… “SPIRIT vanishes!” Yami Yugi… I will finish your humble works… “What? JAMES is evolving!” … “JAMES evolved into YAMIJAMES!” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YAMI YUGI! I WILL NOT FAIL YOU..! Location: Rustboro City Listen, my children! Follow me if you want to know the way of True Light! “DOZENS OF PEOPLE are in close pursuit!” Now. My children. The MOTO CULT! We are here for a reason.. all of us. Long ago, in a land far lost there was an EVIL WEBMASTER GOD that wanted to destroy all of the beautiful land of Kanto. Kanto fell into the depths of the sea because of a very special person named Yami Yugi. He saved us all from the webmaster. However, that same webmaster is here among us… In Hoenn today! He now plots to destroy this world… We must stop him at all costs! “DOZENS OF PEOPLE agree!” "DOZENS OF PEOPLE want to join MOTO CULT!" Yes.. YES!, my children. Let us all ride into paradise! "FLARIKKS appeared!" "MCNABB appeared!" "SAL appeared!"
"FLARIKKS used SPIT!" "FLARIKKS spat on YOU!"
“DOZENS OF PEOPLE sent out DOZENS OF ZIGZAGOONS!” Hmph! Pathetic Zigzagoons! Undead Gates, dispose of this trash! HAHAHAHAHA! “UNDEADGATES used DISPOSE TRASH!” “No TRASH to dispose!” … I meant the Zigzagoons… “NARRATOR knows!” “NARRATOR doesn’t CARE!” Doh… “DOZENS OF ZIGZAGOON use DOZENS OF TACKLES!” OWWWW… Looks like that hurts… “UNDEADGATES fainted!” Grrr… Go, Charmander! “Go! CHARMANDER!” Use Flamethrower! “CHARMANDER used FLAMETHROWER!” “CHARMANDER took out a FLAMETHROWER and was FLAMMING DOZENS OF ZIGZAGOON!” “DOZENS OF ZIGZAGOON fainted!”
“CHARMANDER fainted!” CRAP! Duuuude, that’s not MORAL!! Grrr, take care of em Lord! “Go! LORD!” “NARRATOR is SCARRED at himself for all the POSSIBLE PUNS!” Uh oh… I think the Narrator saw the Passion -.- “Choose your own Narrator joke!” Great. “A. LORD was crusified! LORD died! B. JUDAS ISCARIAT used BETRAY! LORD died! C. LORD used PRAY. But, it failed and FLARIKKS loses!”
“YAMIJAMES: Now, young one. Join our cult! JOIN US! JOIN US! JOIN US!” “DOZENS OF PEOPLE: JOIN US! JOIN US! JOIN US! JOIN US!”
“MCNABB ran away!” “SAL walks away!”
“DOZENS OF PEOPLE: JOIN US! JOIN US! JOIN US! JOIN US!” “DOZENS OF PEOPLE: JOIN US! JOIN US! JOIN US! JOIN US!”
Location: Forest Somewhere in Hoenn Player: WEBMASTER rpGamer [record: Too many 0’s in the WIN section to display here]
“OAK: rpGamer, are you sure you thought this over? After all, Yami-Spirits are really powerful!” Yes… yes, I know. But right now I must focus on getting my God Powers back. Nothing else matters until then. “OAK: Alright, my Lord, I understand.” Thank you, I knew you would, my old friend. “LEAH: I have located a Yami-Spirit, my master!” Wonderful! Where? “LEAH: He’s in Rustburo City.” Who is it? “LEAH: Yami James…” Location: Rustboro City Well, let’s find them then. Player: YAMIJAMES [record: 2-4-0][Leader of Cult Moto] (Pokemon Lineup: WEEZING) OK! MY FOLLOWERS! OUR TIME FOR GREATNESS DRAWS NEAR! “DOZENS OF PEOPLE agree!” “FLARIKKS hates you!” Flarikks… Why do you hate me? The fact that you’re my Sex Slave shouldn’t mean much… “FLARIKKS: Damn you!!” Now now, a little fun is no need for harsh language. “FLARIKKS: I wanna go home…” TOO BAD! Hahahahaha! “FLARIKKS: ” Shut up and kiss me! “FLARIKKS used LOVELY KISS!” “YAMIJAMES is content!” Harharharhar!! “WEBMASTER rpGamer appeared!” “LEAH appeared!” “OAK appeared!”
“LEAH wants to know why FLARIKKS is in a PINK BIKINI and has his PANTS down!” “FLARIKKS: It’s not what it looks like!!” “LEAH: Really? Cause it looks like you’re in a Pink Bikini with your Pants down…” He’s my sex slave. “LEAH: Ahhhhhhhhhh!” “LEAH ran away!” “WEBMASTER rpGamer: COWARD!”
“WEBMASTER rpGamer wants to fight!” “Ally DOZENS OF PEOPLE wants to fight!” “Ally FLARIKKS wants to fight!” Go, Weezing! “The enemy is a former-god, Get’m, WEEZING!” “OAK sent out PIKACHU!” “WEBMASTER rpGamer sent out CRONO!” “Ally DOZENS OF PEOPLE sent out DOZENS OF ZIGZAGOON!” “Ally FLARIKKS sent out CHARMANDER!”
“DOZENS OF ZIGZAGOON fainted!” Doh… “Enemy PIKACHU used---“ PIKACHU? GAH!!! RUNNNN! “YAMIJAMES ran away!” Player: FLARIKKS [record: 28-18-4][Member of Cult Moto] (Pokemon Lineup: UNDEADGATES, RUBYVER, CHARMANDER, JYNX [dead], X-BOX, LORD [dead]) YAY! I’m FREEE!! “YOU exited CULT MOTO!” “YOU joined WEBMASTER rpGamer!” HAHAHAHAHA! Hehehe… “DOZENS OF PEOPLE sent out DOZENS OF PEOPLE!” Now, Charmander! Use Chardust! “CHARMANDER used CHARDUST!” “But, it missed.” Awwww… “DOZENS OF PEOPLE used RIOT!” “DOZENS OF PEOPLE are rioting!” A lot of good that will do… “KING OF FRANCE appeared!” “KING OF FRANCE outlawed CRONOs for this BATTLE!” “KING OF FRANCE disappeared!” “Ally CRONO fainted!” Nooooooo! “Ally WEBMASTER rpGamer sent out SQUALL!” “SQUALL used WARNING SHOT!” “Enemy DOZENS OF PEOPLE are retreating!”
“OAK appeared with YAMIJAMES!” “YAMIJAMES: No! NO! GET AWAY FROM ME!” “WEBMASTER rpGamer used DRINK BLOOD!” “WEBMASTER rpGamer became a GOD and assended up to EARTH!”
“OAK: Thank you for your help, Rikks” “LEAH: Yea thanks.. Now to return to my plot of killing the webmaster…”
“LEAH ran away!” “OAK ran away!”
Location: Evergrande City Player: MAY [no record yet] (Pokemon Lineup: MUDKIP, SWALLOW, RYHORN) Hmph… Where did Sal go? Hmmm… Maybe he’s in Rustboro… “SWALLOW used FLY!” Location: Rustboro City SAL! OH SAL! “SAL appeared!” “MCNABB appeared!” Hello SAL! How are you? Want to battle? “YOU want to fight!” “DUEL unaccepted!” WHAT? How can you deny me? “SAL: I’m sorry, not now, May, I have to find Rikks.” Rikks? You mean that kid I saw that was in a pink bikini with his pants down and was on fire? “SAL: … Yup, that was probally him. Where did you see him?” Ummm… he went that way. “MAY points to the DEVON CORP.” “SAL: Thanks, May I owe you one!” Player: MCNABB [3-2-1][Fushia Gym Leader][Cinnabar Pokeball Team] (Pokemon Lineup: WEEDHILL, EAGOFFENCE, EAGDEFENCE) Wooh… that’s a big building. “IT IS!” This city reminds me of Philadelphia. “…” Yup, good old Philly. “SAL: Stop lollygagging, Don! C’mon!” Location: Devon Corp. Building Oooooooooo, Pretty building!! “SAL: Glad you’re enjoying yourself… Now where did Rikks go?” I duno. “SAL: Grrr… I’ll look around here. You look upstairs.” Alright then. “MCNABB went upstairs!” “SITH appeared!” GAH!! SITH?! AS IN FROM STAR WARS? “YES!” “SITH looks evil!” GAH!!! “SITH wants to fight!” Okay… Eherm… CMON DARTHY! I CAN KILL YOU ANYDAY! “SITH sent out LIGHTSABER!” Not good. Well, the Eagles can handle anything!! HAHAHA “Except the POKEBALL TOURTAMENT and NFC DIVISION GAME!” Shut up. “MAKE ME!” Agh… Go, eagle offence. “Go! EAGOFFENCE!” “SITH says join the DARK SIDE!” What?! NEVER! “SITH is your father!” Noooooooooooooooo! “SITH tells you to join the DARK SIDE or ELSE!” Or else what? “SITH says to go to your ROOM!” I don’t have a room. “SITH is taking away your GAMEBOY!” You can’t touch my gameboy, Daddio. “SITH doesn’t like being called DADDIO!” Daddio. “SITH is angry!” “SITH withdrew LIGHTSABER and sent out SITH in his anger!” Grrr… I’m no coward either! “MCNABB withdrew EAGOFFENCE!” “MCNABB sent out MCNABB!” HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT! “SITH used FORCE!” And..? “MCNABB was forced to give GAMEBOY to SITH!” WHAT? NOOOO! “SITH grins!” Not that it makes much difference with that helmet on… “SITH removes HELMET!” Eeeww, put it back on… please. “SITH puts it BACK ON!” “SITH holds GAMEBOY over chasm!” That chasm wasn’t there a second ago… “SITH cares not for your ignorance!” “SITH says he with throw GAMEBOY into chasm if he DOESN’T join the DARK SIDE!” No! ANYTHING BUT THAT! “SITH isnt bluffing!” Look, daddio, I have 768 hours on that Pokemon Cart… “SITH says the batteries have been DEAD for a LONG TIME!” Hey, I still haven't gotten around to picking up those power converters! It's a long story, actually. You see, my uncle said that I had to- “SITH says you have 3 SECONDS to join the DARK SIDE!” You wouldn’t … not to your own son… “It’s super effective!” What? Me being your son? “It’s super effective!” “SITH is paralized!” HAHA! “SITH drops GAMEBOY!” “GAMEBOY fell into chasm!” Noooooooooooooooooooooo! “SITH fainted!” Well… at least… at least… I won!! Now to kick this dead corpse… “MCNABB used KICK!” “SITH is being KICKED!” HAHAHA! EAT THE RATH OF MY CLEETS! “What? MCNABB is evolving!” Waaa..? “MCNABB evolved into DARKMCNABB!” Great… So I joined the Dark Side? “CORRECT!” Oh well, I guess I mines well enjoy it! “DARKMCNABB used KICK!” “MEANWHILE…” Player: SAL [2-2-1][Hoenn Region Champion] (Pokemon Lineup: RAICHU[dead], DITTO [dead], ONIX [dead], TORCHIC [dead], EMPEROR SLAKING) Rikks?! RIKKS? “FLARIKKS appeared!” Ewwww… what are you doing in a Pink Bikini with your pants down? “FLARIKKS: Long story… Anyway, would you happen to have some spare clothes? Sure… “FLARIKKS put on COOL CLOTHES!” “FLARIKKS: Thank god… Where’s Mcnabb? He’s upstairs. “SCREAMS of AGONY can be heard from ABOVE!” Eherm… we should check on him. “FLARIKKS agrees!” “FLARIKKS goes upstairs!” “SAL goes upstairs!”
“FLARIKKS: Do you have any idea what something like that could do with a Narrator this insane?!” “BUBBLE used BURST!” “NUCLEAR EXPLOSION occurred!” “RUSTBORO CITY was destroyed except for the DEVON CORP.” “FLARIKKS ungrabbed MOUTH!” GOD! THE NARRATOR IS MORE INSANE THAN I THOUGHT! “SAL pissed himself--- AGAIN!” GAH!! “FLARIKKS hands YOU a TOWEL!” Eherm… Thank you. “DARKMCNABB: Ok, I’m ready now…” “BATTLE used END!” Battle # 60, New Plans Location: Police Station Ruins in Rustboro City Player: YAMIJAMES [record: 2-5-0][Leader of Cult Moto]
“DARKMCNABB appeared!” “FLARIKKS appeared!”
“SAL pissed himself!” DAMMIT! GET ANOTHER TOWEL! “DOZENS OF PEOPLE gave SAL DOZENS OF TOWELS!” “SAL: Eherm… Thanks.” ANYWAY… BACK TO … You… “FLARIKKS: You…” You know… Ever sinse Rustboro was destroyed I knew it was you three… Troublemakers! Now prepare to die! FOR RUSTBORO and the DESTRUCTION OF THE WEBMASTER!! “FLARIKKS wants to fight!” “SAL wants to fight!” “DARKMCNABB wants to fight!” “Ally DOZENS OF PEOPLE want to fight!” Ok. I get it. We all want to fight. “NARRATOR cares not for your humor!” Great… GO! WEEZING! “Go! WEEZING!” “FLARIKKS sent out UNDEADGATES!” “SAL sent out EMPEROR SLAKING!” “DARKMCNABB sent out EAGDEFENCE!” “DOZENS OF PEOPLE sent out DOZENS OF ZIGZAGOON!”
“SMOKE SCREEN was BLOWN at YAMIJAMES!” No!! I MEANT AT THEM! Grrr! “Enemy EMPEROR SLAKING used PUNCH!” “WORLD suddenly got PUNCHED by MASSIVE 10,000 POUND HAND!” “DOZENS OF ZIGZAGOON fainted!” “WORLD is moving away from SUN!” SHI… SHI… SHITT!! “WORLD is DOOMED!” “Ally DOZENS OF PEOPLE sent out DOZENS OF PEOPLE!” This isnt good… “Enemy UNDEADGATES used WINDOWS!” “WEEZING crashed!” “WEEZING fainted!”
“WORLD was SAVED and put BACK ON CORSE!” Phew… “Go! YAMIJAMES!” Awwwwww… “DOZENS OF PEOPLE used DOZENS OF ATTACKS!” “Enemy UNDEADGATES fainted!” “FLARIKKS sent out CHARMANDER!”
“DEVON CORP. FELL to the GROUND!” “YAMIJAMES and DOZENS OF PEOPLE got hit by DEVON CORP.!” “YAMIJAMES fainted!” “DOZENS OF PEOPLE fainted!”
(Pokemon Lineup: RAICHU[dead], DITTO [dead], ONIX [dead], TORCHIC [dead], EMPEROR SLAKING) Great. Now all of Rustboro is destroyed… Well, I always wanted to be a outlaw!! YAY! “SAL pissed himself!--- YET AGAIN!” Awww… Does anyone have a towel? “BATTLE used END!” Battle #61, Evil Ambitions Location: Lillycove City Player: SPANKY [no record yet] (Pokemon Lineup: URANUS) Pretty soon… THE WORLD SHALL BE MINE! AND EVERYONE WILL KNOW THE TRUE DIVINITY OF SPANKY THE CLOWN! Teehee! “YOU are INSANE!” Yes. I know. And so is Uranus. Teehee! “YOUR ANUS?” Yes. Uranus. Teehee! “NARRATOR blinks!” That’s odd. Why did it get all dark for a second? Teehee! “Because NARRATOR told it to!” REALLY? DO YOU THINK THAT YOU, NARRATOR IS MORE POWERFUL THAN I, THE GREAT SPANKY THE CLOWN?! Teehee! “YES!” OK! I CHALLENGE YOU TO A FIGHT! Teehee! “NARRATOR wants to fight!” HA! FOOL! GO URANUS! Teehee! “The enemy is invincable, Get’m URANUS!” INVINCABLE?! HA! Teehee! “NARRATOR sent out NARRATOR!” HA! YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE A POKEMON! Teehee! “Enemy NARRATOR used DELETE KEY!” “URANUS fainted!” WHATY? Teehee! “You are going to die, Get’m SPANKY!” I CANT DIE! IM SPANKY THE CLOWN! Teehee! “NARRATOR used NARRATE!” “NARRATOR narrated SPANKY being thrown off NEARBY CLIFF!” Location: Nearby Cliff AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!! Teehee! “SPLAT!” “BATTLE used ---“ WAAAIT! IM NOT DEAD YET!! HAR HAR HARHAR! Teehee! “BUT YOU LOST!” Well PLEASE CAN I FIGHT A NON-GOD?! Teehee! “FINE…” “HEART appeared!” “HEART: Blub”
“Enemy POLICEDOG used GROWL!” “URANUS’s anus greatly fell!”
“NARRATOR is HORRIFIED by all the POSSIBLE PUNS!” Teehee!? “URANUS used POOP!” “URANUS pooped his pants!” Teehee! Teehee! Teehee! Teehee! “SAL appeared!” “SAL pissed himself!” “SAL disappeared!”
“URANUS fainted!” UGH! RETURN… “Go! SPANKY!” I CANNOT LOSE! “SPANKY used HAPPY!” “SPANKY is getting happy!” Teehee! Teehee! Teehee! “Enemy POLICEDOG used CRUNCH!” “SPANKY was crunched!” OWWWWWWW… Teehee! “SPANKY fainted!” … Teehee! Teehee! Teehee! Teehee! Teehee! Teehee! “BATTLE used END!” Battle #62, End of the World Location: Lillycove City… at the bottom of Nearby Cliff Player: SPANKY [0-2-0] (Pokemon Lineup: URANUS) THE WORLD SHALL NOT END! THE WORLD SHALL BE MINE – TEEHEE! “END OF THE WORLD is simply a name…” Oh… teehee Of corse. “THE WORLD disappeared!” Location: In the middle of space GAH!! TEEHEE! MY WORLD! “YOU can’t breath!” GAH!! IR IN SPACE TEEHEE!! WHAT HAPPEN TO EARTH?!!! “It disappeared!” … Cant… breath……. “AIR SPHERE appeared!” “SPANKY went inside AIR SPHERE!” Heh… teehee teehee teehee! THE EARTH! GAH!!! “YOU must save the WORLD!” Noooooooooooooooo! CONQUER THE WORLD! “…” But first I MUST SAVE IT!! “EXACTLY!” “UFO appeared!” “UFO: GAH! There are survivors!” “UFO ran away!” GRRRR! COME BACK “SPANKY ran after UFO!” “SPANKY went out of AIR SPHERE!” Can’t…… .. breath “SPANKY ran back into AIR SPHERE!” DAM! That ufo has something to do with it!! I TEEHEE KNOW IT! “NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!” Teehee! BUT HOW DO I GETHIM?! “GOTTA CATCH EM ALL!” Now time for your puns now, narrator… “You got 10 BILLION POKeBALLS!” … “Wild 10 BILLION UFOS appeared!” Gotta catch em all? “TEEHEE!” I see… GO URANUS! “Go! URANUS!” “Wild 10 BILLION UFOS used 10 BILLION LAZER BEAMS!” “URANUS fainted!”
“10 BILLION UFOS was caught!” was? U MEAN WERE TEEHEE! “NO! WAS!” …WHATEVER TEEHEE “THE WORLD reappeared!” “HARMONY is restored!” Location: Lillycove City TEEHEE! 10 BILLION UFOS… WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH THESE? “TAKE OVER THE WORLD!” Good idea. “Go! 10 BILLION UFOS!” Take over the world MY PRETTYS!! “10 BILLION UFOS used DOMINATE!” “WORLD is now YOURS!” YAY!!! “SERVANT: What can I do for you my highness?” Get me some tea.. hee “SERVANT: Right away, my lord.” “GENERAL: Sir! A group of rebels are raiding towns in Southern Hoenn! What would you have me do?” Who is it ? “GENERAL: The Legendary Rikks, my lord.” Kill him. Teehee “BATTLE used END!” Battle # 63, Rikk’s New “Friend” Location: Fortree City Player: DAZOMBIEMAN [record: 2-6-1][red version escapee]
“SAL appeared!” “DARKMCNABB appeared!”
“SAL: …”
“FLARRIKKS: No, it’s alright, Zombie. You can come along if you want. “YOU joined FLARRIKS’s party!” YAYYZZZ “SPANKY appeared!” “SPANKY: HA! I’ve been looking for you Teehee!” VLAZZ? EVUL CLOWN EMPIRE?! “FLARRIKKS: Spanky! PERPARE TO DIE!” “SPANKY wants to fight!” “Ally FLARRIKS wants to fight!” “Ally SAL wants to fight!” “Ally DARKMCNABB wants to fight!”
“SPANKY: Cmon! JUST TRY TO HURT MY POKEMON! “SPANKY sent out 10 BILLION UFOs!”
“Ally SAL sent out LORDSLAKING!” “Ally DARKMCNABB sent out WEEDHILL!” “Ally DAZOMBIEMAN sent out JEEVES!” LETS GO! “Ally JEEVES fainted!” … “Ally DAZOMBIEMAN sent out DAZOMBIEMAN!” Oh god, help us… “10 BILLION UFOs used 10 BILLION LAZER SHOTS!” “CHARMANDER fainted. Use next Pokemon?” GOD! THAT WAS A BIT OF AN OVERKILL… Surprised it didn’t die… grr! GO UNDEADGATES! “There are 10 Billion UFOs wanting to kill you! Get’m, UNDEADGATES!” Cmon, guys! Lets take a few out! “Ally LORDSLAKING used PUNCH!” “Critical hit!” Wow… like he got 1 million of them… only 99 million to go -.- “What? Enemy 10 BILLION UFOs is devolving?” “Enemy 10 BILLION UFOs devolved into 99 MILLION UFOs!” Grrr… “Ally DAZOMBIEMAN used SPELLBREAK!” “Enemy 99 MILLION UFOs’s spell harshly fell!” WTF is “Spell?!” “Enemy 99 MILLION UFOs used SPELLCOUNTER!” “Ally DAZOMBIEMAN fainted!” Doh… Undeadgates! DO SOMETHING..! “UNDEADGATES used RAISEDEAD!” “1 MILLION UFOs rose from the DEAD and JOINED YOU!” YES!!! “SPANKY: Grrr! Using my own UFOs against me! You slime! NO! You’re worse than slime! YOU ARE A BOOZLETRON!” Boozletron? “YES!” “GENERAL appeared!” “GENERAL: Sir Spanky, Johto is starting a mass rebellion. It is wise to stop thinking about this minor threat and start thinking about the Johtos.”
“SPANKY: Alrite! LISTEN RIKKS! You havent seen the last of me!” “SPANKY and GENERAL disappeared!”
Location: Goldenrod City Player: FLARIKKS [record: 30-18-4]
“DARKMCNABB went to the west!” “DAZOMBIEMAN went to the east!”
“KID points threw forest!” EEEKKK! Isnt there kind of route to get there?! “KID: Nope. Spanky destroyed it.” I see… Well, I will find it and crush Spanky!! “KID: …. You and whose army. Spanky is invincable! I’m surprised that the Rebellion has lasted this long.” Hmph! Quiet you! “SAL appeared!” “DARKMCNABB appeared!” “DAZOMBIEMAN appeared!”
“TREE wants to fight!” …. HAHAHAHAHAHA! “TREE sent out TREE!” Hmph! It actually thinks it can win! HA! “SAL: Ummmm… Rikks time to run…” Why? It’s just a tree… “TREE wants to fight!” “TREE wants to fight!” “TREE wants to fight!” “TREE wants to fight!” Uh oh… Hmmm… Well, it’s a Grass type so I’ll just use my trusty Charmander! “Go! CHARMANDER!” “SAL sent out LORDSLAKING!” “DAZOMBIEMAN sent out JEEVES!” “JEEVES fainted”! “DAZOMBIEMAN: Awwww…” “DAZOMBIEMAN sent out DAZOMBIEMAN!” “DARKMCNABB sent out WEEDHILL!”
“SAL: YOU BASTARD!” Sorry… “Enemy TREE used DEATH!” “Ally LORDSLAKING fainted!” … HOW?! “DAZOMBIEMAN ran away!” “DARKMCNABB ran away!” “SAL ran away!”
“CINNAGOO appeared!” “PIZZAMAN appeared!”
“TREES used RED EYES!” “TREES look evil!” “SPECIALVIKKS: … Odd” GET AWAY FROM ME! “SPECIALVIKKS: Fine… if you don’t want my help.” “SPECIALVIKKS ran away!” “CINNAGOO ran away!” “PIZZAMAN ran away!” Uphm… now what? “TREE used FALL!” “TREE fell on CHARMANDER!” “TREE died!” “CHARMANDER fainted!” Great… Now what Pokemon to use?! Oh yes… these 1 million UFOs I have… “The enemy is invincable, Get’m, 1 MILLION UFOs!” USE LAZER BEAM ATTACK! “1 MILLION UFOs used 1 MILLION LAZERBEAMS!” “FLARRIKKS was hit by LAZERBEAMS!” OWWWWW!! “FLARRIKKS fainted!” “10 HOURS LATER…” “FLARRIKKS woke up!”
“It’s a CATERPIE!” “It’s a LOSER!” “No! It’s the One, the Only… SUPERMON!” Super MON..? “SUPERMON appeared!” “SUPERMON: Hello, civiallian. I just saved you from the forest of INVINCABE trees!!!” Yea… thanks. You know you kinda look like a Pokemon freak--- you know, with those glasses, and Pokefan look… “SUPERMON: You dare dis the 1337 Super MON?! Hark, mortal! How dare thee!” Eherm.. sorry. So, whats your hidden idenity? Professor Oak? “SUPERMON: … Super MON never reveals his identity!” Whatever. Hey--- where did Sal Mcnabb and DaZombieMan go? “SUPERMON: You must mean those weaklings that kept pissing their pants, kicking a dead sith and VLA-ing.” Yah, that’s them. “SUPERMON: Oh yes, that’s right! They told me to tell you something!!” What would this something be? “SUPERMON: That they are headed back to Hoenn and you can take ‘Spanky’ on all by yourself.” WHAAT?… NO WAY! “SUPERMON: But do not fear! SUPER MON IS HERE!” Great… Now to go to that city… “SUPERMON joined your party!” Joy. This is just perfect. “BATTLE used END!” Battle #63, Johto’s Last Hope Location: Over the Ruins of the Invincable Tree Forest Player: FLARIKKS [record: 30-19-4]
“SUPERMON: Glad to know I’m well known…” … I’m not even going to say anything. By the way, it would seem that the Wild Citizens are aiming that rather suspisous looking red cannon at us. I think--- “Hit a BUILDING!” DOH! “Fell to the ground!” ANYWAY… “Wild CITIZENS want to fight!” Uh oh. “Ally SUPERMON wants to fight!” “SUPERMON: I’ll protect you, soldier!” Great. I have a weakling on my side, while my enemys get a shiny red cannon, yea… this is fair. “Wild CITIZENS use RED CANNON!” “SUPERMON was hit!” “SUPERMON was BLASTED to the STARS!”
“Wild CITIZENS were drained of LIFE!” Heh… that should do the trick. Not hard at all, if I don’t say so myself. “Wild CITIZENS died!” Perfect. Now to find Spanky… “SPANKY appeared!” “SPANKY: So, Rikks… we meat again!” Spanky! “SPANKY: You may have gotten lucky last time, but this time you wont be so lucky!!” You’re so sure of this how? “SPANKY: Well… because… because! I’m the invincable Spanky!!” Trust me in this universe… Nothing is invincable. “SPANKY: Hah! Show me proof with your Pokemon, not with your words! Go 99 Million UFOS!” “SPANKY sent out 99MILLIONUFOS!” Grrr! “To be continued…” Battle #65, Within the Dark Location: Shadows of Horror Player: ZEROPH-ZEAL [no record yet] (Pokemon Lineup: NECROFEAR) Destiny, my family. I can feel destiny slowly moving towards us. “MARLO-ZEAL: Zeroph! How can we be sure?” Marlo… You started this! I would expect you of all people to finish… “MARLO-ZEAL: Spanky is losing confidence in himself… Take a look.” Location: In a Crystal Ball in the Shadows of Horror “SPANKY: GAH! NOT ANOTHER 50 MILLION!” “49MILLIONUFOS are about to EXPLODE!” “SPANKY: Oh… OH NO! NOOOOOO!” “49 MILLIONUFOS died!” “SPANKY: Uranus..?” “SPANKY sent out URANUS!” “CHARMANDER used FLAMETHROWER!” “URANUS fainted!” Location: Shadows of Horror “MARLO-ZEAL: See? Rikks is getting too powerful…” “SONAR-ZEAL: Perphaps it is time to show him his fate?” No! That’s too risky. We still need Spanky to do a few things before Rikks does that!! “SONAR-ZEAL: Spanky is defeated! He cant do a thing!” Hmph… There must be another way. “ZEALIOUS-ZEAL: Hmmm… another way… What about Janus..?” Janus… Hmmmmmmm… “LORD JANUS appeared!” Hnnnn… Lord Magus, I thought you were too scared to show around here again! Expecially with your humilating loss to Rikks! “LORD JANUS: I’m sorry. I’ve come to fight for the Shadow Way once more.” Very well then. We have need for your assistance… “LORD JANUS was renamed JANUS-ZEAL!” Very good. Now, Janus… It is time. “JANUS-ZEAL: Yes, Zeroph.” Very good. Lunar! “LUNAR-ZEAL said, ‘Yes?’” Hnnnnnnn… Your Pokemon all represent the opposites of the Shadows… See to it that Janus doesn’t fail!! Player: FLARIKKS [record: 32-19-4] (Pokemon Lineup: UNDEADGATES, RUBYVER, CHARMANDER, 1 MILLION UFOs, JYNX [dead], X-BOX, LORD [dead]) Location: City of Destiny “SPANKY: GAH! URANUS! TEEHEE!” Pathetic. I thought you would be more of a challenge then that… “JANUS-ZEAL appeared!” Yo! Lord Janus! What’s up? “JANUS-ZEAL: Today! Rikks! TODAY! YOU PLAY YOUR DESTINY!” Huh? Something wrong with you, dude? “JANUS-ZEAL: You!! RIKKS! Fate has chosen you to meet Destiny!” Whatever you’re on, I want it. “JANUS-ZEAL: Be serious. Come forth from the shadows! Lunar!” “LUNAR-ZEAL appeared!” “JANUS-ZEAL: Good luck, Rikks…” “JANUS-ZEAL disappeared!” Where… whered he go? “LUNAR-ZEAL: Let dawn occur! Come forth, Fate and Destiny! Show the wrath of yourselves to this induvidual!” “LUNAR-ZEAL sent out FATE!” “LUNAR-ZEAL sent out DESTINY!”
“LUNAR-ZEAL: It is pointless to stand up against Fate and Destiny. Now! Combination attack! “Enemy FATE used COUNTDOWN! 10!”
“Countdown went to 0 AUTOMATICALLY!” {O.O} Not good. “Enemy FATE used DEVISTATE!” “CHARMANDER fainted!” “UNDEADGATES fainted!”
“X-BOX: I HATE YOU!” Shut up! Look at them!! “X-BOX: … AAHHHHHHHHHHH w00000000000000t!” Now go fight unless you want to die! “X-BOX died!” Doh!! “Go! RUBYVER!” “RUBYVER wants to KILL YOU!” I don’t have time for this! “RUBYVER used---“ “Enemy DESTINY used TIMEWARP!” “RUBYVER was WARPED before its CREATION!” “RUBYVER died!” … Great. Ufos! You’re my last hope! 1 Million Lazer Beams ATTACK! “1MILLIONUFOS used 1MILLIONLAZERBEAMS!” “Enemy FATE and DESTINY ate the attack!” … Well I’ll be. “What? Enemy FATE and DESTINY are merging!” Mer… MERGING? “Enemy FATE and DESTINY merged to form TIMEDEVOURER!” {!O_O!} AHHHHHHHH! “Enemy TIMEDEVOURER used TIMEFREEZE!” “TIMEFREEZE ended!” What was that? “1MILLIONUFOs are fainted on the GROUND!” GAH~!! “Go! FLARIKKS!” GAH~~~~!!!! “LUNAR-ZEAL: Now! Time Devourer! Show this induvidual his FATE AND DESTINY!” “What? TIMEDEVOURER are unmerging!” “TIMEDEVOURER unmerged into FATE and DESTINY!”
“Enemy DESTINY used PORTAL-BETA!” “Enemy LUNAR-ZEAL used PORTAL-GAMMA!” “PORTAL opened!” … “Being SUCKED into PORTAL!” AHHHHHHHHHHH! “THROWN in PORTAL!” Location: Shadows of Horror Wher… where am I? “ZEROPH-ZEAL: Welcome to our domain, the Shadows of Horror!” What do you want with me? “ZEROPH-ZEAL: We have to show you something…” What? “ZEROPH-ZEAL: You still have that Devil Pendant, do you not?” I do… “ZEROPH-ZEAL: For your destiny to unfold, it needs to be nuetralized. Give it to me.” Wha…what?! Never! “ZEROPH-ZEAL stole the DEVIL PENDANT!” WHAT? “What? FLARIKKS is devolving!” “FLARIKKS evolved into RIKKS!” Ughh! “ZEROPH-ZEAL: Now, Zeroph! You are ready!” “RIKKS got the ANGEL PENDANT!” WHAT? GRRAHHHHGGGHHH!! “What? RIKKS is evolving!” …… “RIKKS evolved into SAINT RIKKS!” Ooooooo… Location: Destiny City … “SUPERMON came flying down!” “SUPERMON: Wooh! You’re not on fire anymore! You okay, civiallian?” I’m… I’m fine… I feel… fine. “SUPERMON: I’ll be off, stranger!” “SUPERMON flew off--- and hit AIRPLANE!” Doh. “SAL appeared!” “DARKMCNABB appeared!” “DAZOMBIEMAN appeared!” “SAL: RIKKS?!!” “SAL pissed himself!”
“SAL: Eherm… Thanks. “BATTLE used END!”
Location: Lillycove City Player: SPECIALVIKKS [record: 8-9-1]
“DOZENSOFPEOPLE appeared!” Well, if it isnt the loser cult… “YAMIJAMES: I care not for your ignorance! Surrender immediately! Anyone who disobeys master Yugi must DIE!” Bah… all the cult leaders of this world are gay. “CINAGOO agrees!” “PIZZAMAN agrees!” “YAMIJAMES: That’s it! Prepare to die!” “YAMIJAMES wants to fight!” “DOZENS OF PEOPLE want to fight!”
“DANDAMAN runs in nearby PHONEBOOTH!” “SUPERMON emerges from PHONEBOOTH!”
“Ally SUPERMON wants to fight!” “Ally CINNAGOO wants to fight!” “Ally PIZZAMAN wants to fight!” “Enemy YAMIJAMES sent out WEEZING!” “Enemy DOZENS OF PEOPLE sent out DOZENS OF ZIGZAGOON!” Let’s go team!! “Go! WARTURTLE!” “Ally SUPERMON sent out SUPERMON!” “Ally CINNAGOO sent out RALTS!” “Ally PIZZAMAN sent out CHEESEPIZZA!” Warturtle now! Hyrdo Pump!! “WARTURTLE used HYDRO PUMP!” “DOZENS OF ZIGZAGOON are angry!” Grrrr! “Ally CHEESEPIZZA used TACKLE!” “Enemy WEEZING ate the attack!” “Ally CHEESEPIZZA died!”
“Ally PIZZAMAN sent out SAUSAGEPIZZA!” Hey… where did Supermon go? “Ally SUPERMON used SKY DIVE!” Oh my lord… Hes slower than a speeding comet!! “SUPERMON smashed WEEZING with FOAM FISTS!” Dear lord! Fists of Foam!! Oh my! “Enemy WEEZING fainted!” “YAMIJAMES sent out YAMIJAMES!” This is looking up! “YAMIJAMES used YAMIKAMI!” “SUPERMON is hurled off to MARS!” “SUPERMON hit MARS and is FLYING BACK!”
“SUPERMON fainted!” Eh… Poor Dude. “Ally RALTS used PSYCHIC!” “Enemy DOZENS OF ZIGZAGOON fainted!” Good then. “DOZENS OF PEOPLE sent out DOZENS OF PEOPLE!” “YAMIJAMES used YAMIDAMI!” “YAMIJAMES wins!”
“BATTLE used END!” Battle #67, The Hoenn Cup Location: Evergrande City Player: MAY [no record yet] (Pokemon Lineup: MUDKIP, SWALLOW, RHYHORN) Hmmmm… the Hoenn Cup! Something no true Hoenn resident trainer can miss! Sal MUST be here! “HOST: Welcome one and all! Today we are going to host the annual HOENN CUP! Last year, player SAL won barely against our runner up, STEVEN. And of corse the other two semi finalists, MAY and DOZENS OF PEOPLE. This year, we have many new contenders that have collected all 8 HOENN BADGES! Let them come out now- SAINT RIKKS, ANG’US, DAZOMBIEMAN, DARKMCNABB, SAL…” Yes… Sal’s here! “…MAY, DOZENS OF PEOPLE, STEVEN. Unlike the POKEMON LEAGUE, this Cup will start off with a BATTLE ROYAL to decide who goes onto the SEMI FINALS! Good luck to one and all!” Let’s GOOOOOOO! “Go! RHYHORN!” “SAL sent out LORD SLAKING!” “SAINT RIKKS sent out UNDEADGATES!” “ANG’US sent out PORKCHOPS!” “DAZOMBIEMAN sent out JEEVES!” “JEEVES fainted!” “DAZOMBIEMAN sent out DAZOMBIEMAN!” “DARKMCNBABB sent out WEEDHILL!” “DOZENS OF PEOPLE sent out DOZENS OF ZIGZAGOON!” “STEVEN sent out SHINEY!” This is going to be too easy! Rhyhorn! ROCK ATTACK! “RHYHORN used ROCK ATTACK!” “RHYHORN was picking up ROCKS and ATTACKING them!” Wow. That’s never happened before. “Enemy LORD SLAKING used ETERNAL PUNCH WAVE!” … That cannot be good. “RHYHORN fainted!” Grrr… Go! MUDKIP!! “Go! MUDKIP!” “Enemy UNDEADGATES used PSHYPUNCH on PORKCHOPS!” “But, it failed…” “Enemy PORKCHOPS used SMOKE!” “Enemy PORKCHOPS is now TENDER!”
“Enemy PORKCHOPS died.” Wow. “ANG’US sent out PORKYPIG!” “DAZOMBIEMAN used SIT!” “DAZOMBIEMAN is just SITTING THERE!”
“MUDKIP’s speed harshy fell!” Grrr! You will pay for that! “Enemy DOZENS OF ZIGZAGOON used WORLDWIDE THREAT!” “DOZENS OF ZIGZAGOON were renamed THE ZIG-TALABAN!” Uh oh. “Enemy ZIG-TALABAN used TERROR!” “TERROR is being FEARED!” “DAZOMBIEMAN ran away!” “STEVEN ran away!” “ANG’US ran away!” “DARKMCNABB ran away!” “Enemy ZIG-TALABAN was renamed DOZENS OF ZIGZAGOON.
Location: Evergrande City Player: DARKMCNABB [5-3-1][Fushia Gym Leader][Cinnabar Pokeball Team] (Pokemon Lineup: WEEDHILL, EAGOFFENCE, EAGDEFENCE) GRR! How could I lose that? Stupid Talaban… “TALABAN MEMBER appeared!” Not now narrator, I’m not in the mood. “TALABAN MEMBER is walking into NEARBY STORE!” … I guess it is up to me! I must protect the people in that store!! Location: Evergrande Market “TALABAN MEMBER was renamed BILLIONS OF RED BLOOD CELLS SCATTERED AROUND THE ROOM!” Well I’ll be. I wonder who did that. “CASHIER appeared!” Wow! You did this? “CASHIER: Hello! How can I help you?” … Well, actually I would like to buy this Pokemon game… my dad kindof killed it. “CASHIER: Take your time.” Ummm… I don’t need to. I want THIS! “CASHIER: Pokemon Game? That will be 1,000,000,000 YEN.” ONE BILLION? FOR A POKEMON GAME!! WHAT KIND OF PRICES ARE THOSE! “CASHIER: Take your time.” … You will die. “CASHIER: Take your time.” Grrr! Go! Eagle Offence! “Go! EAGOFFENCE!” “CASHIER wants to fight!” “CASHIER sent out MEGACYBER!”
“Enemy MEAGCYBER’s power is building!” Whats this?! “SONAR-ZEAL: Megacyber’s special attack… there is no way you can win.” Errrr… right… Eagle Offence! Use Headbutt! “EAGOFFENCE used HEADBUTT!” “It’s not very effective…” Grrr… “Enemy MEGACYBER unleashed POWER!” “Enemy MEGACYBER used GIGABLAST!” What the..? Hey! My Pokeballs!! “Go! WEEDHILL!” “Go! EAGDEFENCE!” What’s happening? “SONAR-ZEAL: Whats this?! You… You are the owner of the Brace of United We Stand? No way! “GIGABLAST hit EAGOFFENCE, EAGDEFENCE, and WEEDHILL!” “What? EAGOFFENCE EAGDEFENCE and WEEDHILL are merging!”
“EAGOFFENCE, EAGDEFENCE and WEEDHILL merged into HILLYBILLY!” “HILLYBILLY ate the attack!”
“Hit 46 times!” “Enemy MEGACYBER fainted!”
“HILLYBILLY unmerged into EAGOFFENCE, EAGDEFENCE, and WEEDHILL” Yay!! “SONAR-ZEAL: You give me no choice.” “SONAR-ZEAL used MASTERBALL!” “You were caught!”
Player: SAINT RIKKS [record: 33-20-4] (Pokemon Lineup: UNDEADGATES, RUBYVER [dead], CHARMANDER, 1 MILLION UFOs, JYNX [dead], X-BOX [dead], LORD [dead]) Hey, Sal have you seen McNabb anywhere? “SAL: No… I thought he went into that store.” Let’s check it out! Location: Evergrande Markets “BLOOD STAINS are all over WALL!” WTF?! “SONAR-ZEAL appeared!” Sonar… ZEAL? “SONAR-ZEAL: So, you are the friends of this madman… trying to rob my store?” Your impressions don’t fool me!! I know you are from the Zeals! “SONAR-ZEAL was renamed CASHIER!” “CASHIER: I’m sorry, I … forgot to change my name due to ummmm… yes, I was changing my name too… ummm… erm… Yes! I remember. I’m an international spy so I changed my name to Sonar Zeal to catch an enemy off guard.” Oh, ok. So what do you have for sale? “CASHIER: Phew… anyway, we have this large selection of… Ooooo, Pretty Pokeballs! “CASHIER: Eherm… please don’t touch them. “Go! DARKMCNABB!” WTF?! “CASHIER: Damn… I was hoping to catch you offguard… but o well!” “CASHIER was renamed SONAR-ZEAL!” GAH!! So you are a Zeal!! So what did you want him for? “CASHIER: Bait… for you… Plus this…” “CASHIER flashed the UNITED WE STAND BRACE!” Isnt that the brace I gave him? “SAL: Yea, I could have sworn that was the brace that Yami James made you wear when you were in a Pink Bikini with your pants down…” … Ok, enough of that… “DARKMCNABB: WHAT? You gave me THAT? I thought we were friends!!” Well, We’re not. “DARKMCNABB: Grrr..” As for you Sonar! Prepare to die! “SONAR-ZEAL: You think I take threats from you? Then you have something definatly coming… Go! Megacyber!” “SONAR-ZEAL sent out MEGACYBER!” “Go! CHARMANDER!”
“MEGACYBER is now FOREVERLY BURNING!” Good job! Now finish the deal! “CHARMANDER used BITE!” “Enemy MEGACYBER used BITE!” HUH?! Oh NOOOO! “CHARMANDER and MEGACYBER combo attack! KISSING MORONS!” {o.o} Holy god. “CHARMANDER’s and MEGACYBER’s attack continues!” Tooo painful…!! “SONAR-ZEAL: Gah!! What is this insanity?!” “Both Enemy MEGACYBER and CHARMANDER fainted of EXTREME DISCOMPHERT!” “SONAR ZEAL: Hmmmm… Perphaps I have underestimated your abilites… I will be back!!”
Location: Underground Labatory Somewhere Secret in a Secretly Secret Location Someplace Secret Player: DANDAMAN [record: 1-1-0]
“MON SCREEN ONLINE!” YAY!! “MON SCREEN: You got mail!” I got mail! I got mail! YAY!! Open it. “MON SCREEN: Mail from XXX PORN WEBSITE DUDE.” “RAMSLY: I’m sorry, that’s for me.” Errrrrr… this is not what I had in mind when I said you could use my email--- HEY! No masterbating in the Underground Labatory Somewhere Secret in a Secretly Secret Location Someplace Secret!! “RAMSLY: I’m sorry, sir. I cannot help myself, I get alone sometimes. Just my cooklie bear and I.” Cooklie bear? “RAMSLY: My teddy bear, sir. We shared great nights together.” … “RAMSLY: Just me and my Cooklie bear… OoOoOOoOOOOOOo” WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT MASTERBATING IN THE… Underground Labatory Somewhere Secret in a Secretly Secret Location Someplace Secret!!! “RAMSLY: Dreadfully sorry, sir.” Errrr.. right… MON SCREEN! SEARCH FOR TROUBLE “MON SCREEN: Searching for Trouble please wait.” Hmmmmmm… “2 hours later.” …. WTF? Why is it taking so long? “MON SCREEN: 45% remaining!” RAMSLY!! WHAT IS THIS? IT TAKES SO LONGGGGG! “RAMSLY: This is the MS Mon Screen 2004!” … MS standing for what..? “RAMSLY: Microsoft, sir.” “DANDAMAN used PUNCH!” “RAMSLY was punched across the face!”
“MON SCREEN: Search complete!” FINALLY!! AND..? “MON SCREEN: SEARCH has performed an illegal operation and must be shut down.” WTF? “MON SCREEN: Please restart your MS Mon Screen 2004.” … “6 hours later.” “MON SCREEN: Search complete!” … And..? “MON SCREEN: 1 Items found!” “MON SCREEN: SEARCH has perfromed and illegal operation and must be shut down.” WTF?!! “MON SCREEN: Please restart your MS Mon Screen 2004.” Nooooooo!! WTH!! “6 hours later.” “MON SCREEN: Search complete!” Zzzzzzzzzzzz… “MON SCREEN: 1 Items found!” “MON SCREEN: …Evergrande City…The Zeals…Save the people, the Zeals are invading this turf..” All that time FOR THAT?! “MON SCREEN: UPDATE!” Really? “MON SCREEN: Mission ‘Evergrande City’ is over. Zeals retreated but took one prisioner: MAY.” Then I shall save her!! “MON SCREEN: SEARCH has performed an illegal operation and must be shut down.” Whatever. LETS FLY!! “What? DANDAMAN is changing in the PHONE BOOTH!” Player: SUPERMON [1-2-0][Super Hero] (Pokemon Lineup: HO-OH) “DANDAMAN has changed into SUPERMON!” Awesome. “RAMSLY: Oh dear, he’s fater than a Slowpoke…. higher than a druggie… greater then a bug…. It’s Lord Supermon…” You know the entire time I had that rhyme, I never thought it suited me… “RAMSLY: Trust me… It suits you perfectly sir.” If you say so…. Anyway I’m off to save may! Open the doors, Monscreen! “MON SCREEN: You must reboot your Mon Screen 2004 for these changes to occur. Would you like to reboot your Mon Screen 2004 now?” Errrrrrrrrr… Yea. “15 minutes later…” …
It’s about time. “DOORS opened!” TIME TO SAVE MAY! Location: Outside, in the sky “SUPERMON is headed to his DOOM!” Ha! What do you know? “NARRATOR knows A LOT!” Sure… THAT’S WHAT THEY ALL SAY, BUB! “BATTLE used END!” Battle #70, Rikks meats Crono Location: Evergrande City Player: SAINT RIKKS [record: 33-20-4]
“SAL pissed himself!” “SAL: Dammit!”
“CRONO: ..!” “MARLE: Whats your name?”
“LUCCA: Oh great… here we go again! Marle! We have stuff to do!” “MARLE: Puff down, Lucca! Can’t anyone around here have any fun?!” “LUCCA: God, you have Crono to do that shit with!” … “MARLE: We need a tourguide anyway!” “LUCCA: Fine, lets go.” So errr… what do you want me to show you? “MARLE: I dunno. Something” What about this? “Go! CHARMANDER!” “MARLE: Now that is hot.” “LUCCA: Indeed. According to my Sensors, that Charmander has more firepower then I!”
“CRONO walked in!” “CRONO wants to KNOW why you are both NAKED!”
“CRONO wants to fight!” GAH! OH NO! “Go! CHARMANDER!” “CRONO sent out KATANA!” Charmander!! Use Inferno Rage! “CHARMANDER used INFERNO RAGE!” “But the INFERNO wasn’t raging today…” That’s really gay. “NOT as gay as YAMIJAMES!” So true. “KATANA used CYCLONE!” “CHARMANDER fainted!” Gah! Oh no! Grrrr! Go my trusted Undead gates! “Go, UNDEADGATES!” Hurry use Break! “UNDEADGATES broke the sword!” “KATANA died!” Hahahahahaaaa!! “MARLE: Crono! You have to win this sweeeeeeetie! For me?!” “CRONO sent out CRONO!” Puh… like that even matters. Undead Gates, use Buy! “UNDEADGATES bought out CRONO’s company!” “CRONO: Curse you, Gates!!” “CRONO used LIGHTNING2!”
“1004 of them were CRITICAL HITs!” “They are ALL super effective!” “CRONO died!” Hahahaha! Die, bastard! “MARLE: Crono?! CRONO?! Noooooooo! Well, Marle, it would seem that you have no choice but to come with me! “MARLE: Crono died… again?! Lucca!!!” “LUCCA: What? GAH!” “LUCCA died from a HEARTATTACK!”
“MARLE: Errrr… Can I have that… please?” Uhhhh… No. “SAINT RIKKS breaks TIME KEY in HALF!” “MARLE: Nooooooooooooooo!” You mines well just join my party now. “MARLE: You bastard! But alas, I have no choice…” “MARLE joined your party!” Yay!! Location: Campfire just outside Evergrande City “MARLE is asleep by NEARBY TREE!” Awwwww, she’s so cute when she’s sleeping. “SAL: Good god, you think shes cute all the time.” That’s a bit beyond the point… “SAL: Rikks, let me get 1000 G from our pile, I need to get a few Potions.” 1000 G… uhhhh… “SAL: Where the hell is the money?!” Sal… now don’t get mad… I used all that money to get Marle this. “SAINT RIKKS flashed the ENGADGEMENT RING!” “SAL: She’ll kill you. Dude, let me see that… YOU SPENT 999,999,999 G ON A FAKE PLASTIC RING?!” What?! The Cashier said that was a 1000 Carrot Gold! “SAL: Has it ever occurred to you that THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS 1000 CARROT! YOU RETARD..! …. Uhhhh” “NARRATOR: What?” “SAL: I just find it strange that I havent pissed myself yet…” “NARRATOR: NARRATOR was getting to that!” “SAL pissed himself!”
“SAL: Not really…” “DARKMCNABB hands SAL the TOWELL”
Location: Underground Labatory Somewhere Secret in a Secretly Secret Location Someplace Secret Player: RAMSLY [no record yet] (Pokemon Lineup: COOKLIE BEAR) Now, where were my my DARLING Cooklie bear? Oh yes, about to jack off… Now that Supermon’s not here, that shouldn’t be a problem. “No, but the NARRATOR is!” What’s your point? “The NARRATOR REFUSES to NARRORATE you MASTERBATING! NARRATOR wants to keep this PG-RATED!” Errrrr… Please? “NO!” Pretty please? “NO!” Oh well, I’ll do it anyway. Let’s see…. Ah here’s a good one from mailer “XXX SexEr 2k4” … Wow, gay porn. Just what I needed right now. “COMPUTER explodes!” Hey..! I was using that! No matter, I’ll just use this. “RAMSLY pulled out the GAY PORN MAGAZINE!” Ahh yes, one of Cooklie bear’s and I’s favorite. Now let’s go to page… “GAY PORN MAGAZINE IMPLODES, then EXPLODES, and then IMPLOADS and EXPLOADS again!!” … Narrator, you’ll pay for that! “HOW, exactly?” I get it! You discriminate against gay people, don’t you?! “…” Don’t you want this version to be NON-DISCRIMINATE?! “The NARRATOR came to the CONCLUSION that its PERFECTLY FINE to be…” Good. “DISCRIMINATING against GAY PEOPLE!” … I hate you. “MUSIC to the NARRATOR’s EARS.” You don’t have ears. “INTERESTING POINT…” I mean your just a big booming voice, how harmful can you be? “RAMSLY got hit by LIGHTNING BOLT!” Doh! I forgot about the god like powers… “NARRATOR is a GOD!” Sure… “NARRATOR was renamed GOD for this battle!” Great… “GOD: Mwahahahahhaaaa! I am GOD! GOD I SAY! GOD!! GOD OF DOOOOOM!” Great, the Narrator has lost his mind. “GOD used BACKSPACE!” Great, God has lost his mind. … What the hell? “GOD will RIGHT any MISTAKE you make!” Damn narrator… “GOD used BACKSPACE!” Damn God… Good god… “THANK YOU!” Errrrr… anyway, I’m still gay and there’s nothing you can do about it. “GOD used BACKSPACE!” Errrrr… anyway, I’m now strait and there’s everything you can do about it. WHAT THE HELL? I didn’t say that! “YES you DID!” This is insulting. I don’t want to be marked as strait for the rest of my life! “GOD used BACKSPACE!” This is awesome. I don’t want to be marked as gay for the rest of my life! This is getting annoying. “GOD used BACKSPACE!” This is getting exciting. Goddamit! “GOD used DAMMIT!” “GOD DAMNED IT!” Uhhhhh… anyway. “THIEF appeared!” GAH! “THIEF told you to GIVE HIM all of your MONEY!” Oh my god! Oh my god! “YES, I am GOD!” Supermon’s base is under attack Geehehehehgeasdgfa! “RAMSLY hit WALL!” “RAMSLY fainted!” “THIEF: …” “SUPERMON came BACK!” “SUPERMON: I couldn’t find those bastards… Good god!!”
(Pokemon Lineup: HO-OH) Okay, narrator, explain. Why is Ramsly naked on the floor unconcious with his cooklie bear also naked sitting right next to him while a thief is stealing my stuff? “GOD used BACKSPACE!” Okay, god, explain. What the hell? “DON’T ASK! ANYWAY, the THIEF is STEALING STUFF!” Grrrr… Die thief!! “SUPERMON used DIE THIEF!” “Wild THIEF died!” Mwah…hwahahhahahaahaa! “GOD was renamed NARRATOR… God that was fun” “BATTLE used END!” Battle #72, Turkey Day Location: Underground Labatory Somewhere Secret in a Secretly Secret Location Someplace Secret Player: MARLE [no record yet] (Pokemon Lineup: CROSSBOW) “ALARM CLOCK rings!” Go awaaay… I’m too sleepy. “SAINT RIKKS: Awww, cmon! Dear! Get up!” …Did he just call me ‘dear’? “MARLE woke up!” “MARLE used ICEBEAM on Enemy SAINT RIKKS!” Hahahaaaa! Take that you stupid son of a bitch! “SAINT RIKKS didn’t DIE! SAINT RIKKS cannot DIE!” Curse you, giant voice… thing! “THAT hurts the NARRATOR GREATLY!” Whatever… Now what is it that you wanted Rikks? “SAINT RIKKS: Marrrrrrrrrry meeeeeeee! ^_^” “SAINT RIKKS flashes WEDDING RING!” No way you freak!! “MARLE used B****SLAP” “SAINT RIKKS: That hurts my feelings…” “SAL woke up!”
“DARKMCNABB wakes up!” “DARKMCNABB: What the..?” “SAINT RIKKS: So… sniff sniff… you don’t want to marry me?” … “SAINT RIKKS: I’ll take that as a no…” Hey, Rikks, Look! There’s a butterfly! “SAINT RIKKS: Oooooo! A butterfly!” “MARLE attempts to run away!” Well, that makes it A LOT harder when someone NARRORATES IT! “NARRATOR doesn’t CARE!” “NARRATOR finds DELIGHT in your MISERY!” “DAZOMBIEMAN: Raawwwwrrr!”
“SAL: Lett’s EAT!!” What is there to eat..? “DAZOMBIEMAN: Vlaaaazzz… I CANTZ EAT!” “SAINT RIKKS: Where ARE YOU MY BUTTERFLY PRECIOUS?” … Can I kill him nooowwww?! “NARRATOR: No.” Awwwwwwwww…. Well, what is there to eat..? “SAL: Uhhhhhh…” We have nothing to eat?! “SAL: Rikks did use all of our gil on that stupid ring…” “SAINT RIKKS: Where is the damn butterfly?!” “DARKMCNABB: Awwwww… If we were back in Philadelphia, we could have those Boy Scouts donate to us…”
“DAZOMBIEMAN: Vlaaa.a.. FATEZ CAN BE CRUELZX!” … You make Saint Rikks look almost attractive. “SAL: I’m really that bad?” Yes. Don’t talk to me. Fetch the turkey oh great football player man! “DARKMCNABB: Alright.” (Soon my plan to be rid of the fools will be possible!) Player: DARKMCNABB [5-3-1][Fushia Gym Leader][Cinnabar Pokeball Team] (Pokemon Lineup: WEEDHILL, EAGOFFENCE, EAGDEFENCE) Hmmmm… where am I going to find a turkey..? “Wild TURKEY appeared!” That was easy… Go my trusted Pokeman! “It’s uhhh… a POKEMON…” Whatever. “Go! WEEDHILL!” “TURKEY used GOBBLE” Noooooooooooooooooooo…! “TURKEY: Gobble. The gobbles! It will one day smite us all…. Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! “MEANWHILE…” Player: SAL [4-2-1][Hoenn Region Champion] (Pokemon Lineup: RAICHU[dead], DITTO [dead], ONIX [dead], TORCHIC [dead], EMPEROR SLAKING) “SAL pissed himself!” DAMMIT! “To be continued…” “BATTLE used END!” |