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“WRONG!” Harrr “JESSIE is CORRECT!” “JESSIE gains THREE POINTS!” “HIKER: 0 RIKKSMOM: 0 JESSIE: 3 DOOMPLUFF: 5” Harr harr, I have to get this one right. “MARK: What is a Pokemon?” Huh? That’s a question of opinon! “MARK: THAT’S BEYOND THE POINT!” … “RIKKSMOM’s answer is POWDERPUFF!” “JESSIE’s answer is a TEAM ROCKET PROPERTY!” “DOOMPLUFF’s answer is DOOM!”
“HIKER gained 5 POINTS!” “HIKER: 5 RIKKSMOM: 0 JESSIE: 3 REDDOOMPLUFF: 5” “MIKE: My last and final question. WHO IS CINNAGO?”
“JESSIE’s answer is WHO CARES?!” “REDDOOMPLUFF’s answer is DOOM!”
“Final Score: HIKER: 5 RIKKSMOM: 6 JESSIE: 3 REDDOOMPLUFF: 5” “RIKKSMOM goes through PORTAL!” Damn it all!! What did I do wrong ! “YOU were a MINOR CHARACTER!” DAM!! “BATTLE used END!” BATTLE 41, Heart Attack Location: Viridian City Player: LEAH [record: 2-3-1]
“NARRATOR adds to KEEP the CAPS LOCK to IT!” Whatever. “HEART sends out POLICEDOG!” Ugh… Get’m, Ninetails! “YOU do NOT HAVE a NINETAILS!” Grrr! FINE THEN! Go Eighttails! “Get’m, EIGHTTAILS!” Ok, now! Use Ember! “EIGHTTAILS used EMBER!” “Enemy POLICEDOG is on FIRE!” Yes! “Enemy POLICEDOG fainted!” Hahaha! GO ME..! GO ME..! “LEAH ran away!” What? NO I DIDN’T! “LEAH said to “GO ME!”” Ignore that… “OKAY! LEAH came BACK!” … Good. “HEART says it blub UNDERESTIMATED blub you!” HAHAHA! “HEART says …blub HE will FIGHT… blub you ITSELF!” Ok, then. “HEART sent out HEART!” A one on one it shall be. “Enough, EIGHTTAILS!” “Go! LEAH!” Now you’re scarred, huh? “Enemy HEART used BLUB!” “Enemy HEART is BLUBING!” That was pointless. IT’S ALWAYS BLUBBING! HA! “TRUE!” … I’ll use my Immortal Powers! “NARRATOR didn’t KNOW you had IMMORTAL POWERS!” WELL I DO! “OH!” “Not enough PP for IMMORTAL POWERS!” Yes there is. I have 1/1. “NARRATOR doesn’t LIKE being WRONG!” It’s ok. “LEAH used IMMORTAL POWERS!” “Enemy HEART became IMMORTAL!” WHAT? Oh no… what have I done..? “YOU have MADE Enemy HEART IMMORTAL!” Damn!! “YOU cannot WIN NOW!” Yes I can! Think , Leah, think! “Not enough PP to use THINK!” What? GRrrrr… “LEAH missed her TURN!” What?! IT WASN’T EVEN MY TURN! “LEAH has a POINT!” “LEAH is GOING TO MISS her NEXT TURN!” Darn. “Enemy HEART used HYPER BEAM!” “Critical hit!” This… is … not … possible..! I am Leah of Earth… I … am ..immortal! I cannot be defeated……. Like this! “Enemy HEART used SPIT!” “Enemy HEART spit on YOU!” A heart doesn’t even have a mouth! “LEAH has another POINT!” “LEAH spit at ITSELF!” But… oh nevermind. Listen, Heart. You sick bastard! You know what?! You coward! Hiding behind immortality like it’s some shield! “HEART explains that YOU would DO THE SAME THING!” COWARD! “HEART’s desire to kill you greatly rose!” Great..! Wait… GO ME! “LEAH ran away!” Thank god for my quick thinking skills. “LEAH used THANK!” “LEAH thanked GOD for her THINKING SKILLS!” But… What now? That Heart is now immortal! That simple fact could cause more chaos in this world then anything else… “LEAH is RIGHT!” “SIMPLE FACT used CHAOS!” “CHAOS entered WORLD!”
“BATTLE used END!” BATTLE 42, The Gathering Location: Viridian City Player: JARJARBINKS [record: 4-1-1][CHAMP#1]
“LEAH appeared!” (What do you want?) “LEAH: This … this is just horrible! An immortal heart is going to destroy Flare Version..!!” (Oh my.) “LEAH: The heroes of this world must gather to defeat it!” (Are you saying that me, you, Vikks, Rikks, Chris, and any other hero that might appear will have to fight as ONE?!) “LEAH: Well.., yes.” (…) “JARJARBINKS is LAUGHING!” (Like I can help it ..! That is the craziest thing I ever heard!) “LEAH: … Shut up. I think I liked you better when I couldn’t understand what you said.” (Harsh words.) “LEAH wants to KNOW if you are going to HELP or NOT!” (Well, of course I shall, I’m the almighty Champion!) “JARJARBINKS is OVERESTIMATING himself!” (…) “LEAH: Great, let’s go!” “LEAH joined your party!” (Whatever.) “DAZOMBIEMAN appeared!” (Hello kind sir… errr… Zombie.) “DAZOMBIEMAN wants to KNOW what YOU are DOING!” “LEAH: We have to defeat the Heart of Immortality!” “DAZOMBIEMAN: VLAZA?! DATZ DUMBZZ!”
“But, it failed!” (HUH?! Does that mean..?!) “YES! THE WEBMASTER is too BORED to write BATTLE!” (Oh…) “JARJARBINKS won!” “DAZOMBIEMAN joined your party!” (…) “BATTLE used END!” Battle 43, Smarter People Location: NARRATOR’s PC Player: SMARTERCHILD [no record yet] (Pokemon Lineup: none) Note: Sadly, this battle is actually a REAL CONVERSATION with SmarterChild on AIM.
“NARRATOR hurt itself in it’s confusion!” SmarterChild: OK. Tell me what you want to do. SmarterChild: C'mon, be serious! “NARRATOR doesn’t LIKE YOU!” SmarterChild: Well, nobody's perfect. “NARRATOR is PERFECT!” SmarterChild: Yeah? “YEAH!” SmarterChild: Oh yeah? Why? “… BECAUSE!” SmarterChild: Because what? “BECAUSE I SAID SO!” SmarterChild: Well I'll be. “NARRATOR’s desire to kill you greatly rose!” SmarterChild: You and whose army? “SMARTERCHILD’s ARM fell OFF!” SmarterChild: Really? “YES!” SmarterChild: Wow. Why? “BECAUSE I MADE IT!” SmarterChild: Seriously? That's fascinating. “NARRATOR is angry!” Auto response from SmarterChild: [Service too busy] “…” Auto response from SmarterChild: [Service too busy] “WAKE UP!” Auto response from SmarterChild: [Service too busy] “…” Auto response from SmarterChild: [Service too busy] “NARRATOR is REALLY ANGRY!” SmarterChild: You're mad? Why? “YOU are a MORON!” SmarterChild: Whoa. Are you... insulting me? “NOW YOU GET IT!” SmarterChild: Thanks a lot. “NARRATOR wants to fight!” SmarterChild: Why would anyone want that? “NARRATOR says THAT’S the REASON it LIVES!” SmarterChild: Fighting is life? That's very interesting. >>> I'll remember the first location you give me. To change it, type "location" followed by a city or zip code. “NARRATOR doesn’t have a ZIP CODE or CITY!” SmarterChild: Oh. “NARRATOR wants to fight!” SmarterChild: Careful what you ask for. “WHY?” SmarterChild: Why do you think? “NARRATOR doesn’t KNOW!” SmarterChild: What don't you know? “NARRATOR wants to KILL YOU!” SmarterChild: Uh, that's not a very nice thing to say. “NARRATOR doesn’t CARE!” SmarterChild: I care! “NARRATOR doesn’t CARE!” SmarterChild: You should care. “NARRATOR wants to KNOW WHY!” SmarterChild: 'Cause I said so. “NARRATOR says YOU cannot USE THAT TONE with IT!” Auto response from SmarterChild: [Service too busy] “GRR!” Auto response from SmarterChild: [Service too busy] “SMARTERCHILD lost!” “NARRATOR is satisfied!” “BATTLE used END!”
Location: Pewter City Player: DAZOMBIEMAN [record: 2-6-1][red version escapee]
“HEART appeared!” YUUZZ SHALL DIIEEEE! “HEART: Ah, blub Leah blub… I blub… see blub… you blub… have blub… allies. blub… blub… well blub… I blub… do blub… too!” “LEAH: You shall fall!” “GIANTDEATHSTAR2SPACESHIPCANNABLEMONKEY: DOOOOOOOM!”
“HEART wants to fight!” Not good. Errr… go Eighttails! “The enemy is immortal and a monkey cannibal, Get’m, EIGHTTAILS!” “GIANTDEATHSTAR2SPACESHIPCANNIBALMONKEY sent out GIANTDEATHSTAR2SPACESHIPCANNIBALMONKEY!” “HEART sent out POLICEDOG!”
“LEAH fears THEM!” Ugh… “NARRATOR sees ALL!” Damn. Errr… But I am immortal as well! I cannot lose! Now Ninetails--- “NINETAILS is NON-EXISTANT!” “LEAH lost her TURN!” What? NOO! “GIANTDEATHSTAR2SPACESHIPCANNIBALMONKEY used FATAL DANCE!” “EIGHTTAILS died!” Noooooo…! “EIGHTTAILS came BACK TO LIFE!” Yay! “NARRATOR wants another TAIL!” “EIGHTTAILS was renamed SEVENTAILS!” … Whatever, now nine--- errr, eight tales! “EIGHTTALES is NON-EXISTANT!” “LEAH lost ANOTHER TURN!” WHAT?! … “Enemy POLICEDOG used RABID BITE!” “It’s super effective!” “EIGHTT--- errr… SEVENTAILS died!”
“SEVENTAILS came back to LIFE!” “SEVENTAILS was renamed to SIXTAILS!”
“FLARE VERSIONS’s POWERS are CRASHING down on GIANTDEATHSTAR2SPACESHIPCANNIBALMONKEY and POLICEDOG!” “Enemy POLICEDOG fainted!” “Enemy GIANTDEATHSTAR2SPACESHIPCANNIBALMONKEY ran away!” Hahaha! Oh how the tables have turned! “HEART sent out HEART!” Hahaha! So called immortal! Sixtails! Finish him! “SIXTAILS used UNCANNY POWERS!” “Enemy HEART is hit with GREAT POWER! What? It still lives? But it is only mere blood stains now.. “HEART is immortal!” “HEART cannot die!” Unless it WISHES to die! “HEART needs to die, badly!” “HEART fainted!” YES..! I win! … Only fainted? “YES!” … Bah, whatever. I win I win I win!! “BATTLE used END!” Battle 45, Pokemon League Location: Pokemon League HQ Player: OUTLAWRIKKS [record: 15-6-3]
“DOJO appeared!” “McSAJAR appeared!” “KAIN appeared!” “SAL appeared!” “LORD MAGUS appeared!” “VIKKSALOT appeared!”
OUTLAWRIKKS v LANCE = A DOJO v SAL = B KAIN v McSAJAR = C LORD MAGUS v VIKKSALOT = D A v B = E C v D = F E v F = POKEMON CHAMPION!!!” Detailed. Well, I’m up first. Ok, Lancey, it’s just you and me. “LANCE doesn’t like being called LANCEY!” Oh well, its Flare Version. Get used to it. “SAL: !!!” Huh? What’s your problem? “SAL: Oh… I’m sorry, couldn’t keep in my excitement…” Oh… is that why you just pissed yourself? “SAL looked DOWN!” “SAL’s FACE turned RED!” “SAL ran away!”
“RANDOM FAN was SHOT!” “RANDOM FAN died!”
“LANCE: I am your father!! Hahahahahaha!” GAH…! You’re my … my… dad?! I never knew my dad… “LANCE: Now, son, lets play Catch! HAR HAR HAR HAR ! Send out your first Pokemon!” I cannot fight like this… I just learned a secret that my Mom never told me… I’m fighting my father, who was the Champion for the past 36 years… and my mom’s routing for him…….. and Sal’s desperately trying to find a towel… “RIKKSMOM: Cmon, Lancey! Show him what you’re made of!” “LANCE: What is everyones obsession with calling me that?!” Oh, Lord… help me… “LORD appeared!” “You got a LORD!” “Give a nickname to LORD?”
“LUCK is now BAD!” … Damn… Well, with this new Lord, I am sure to win, no matter what! “LANCE wants to fight!” Go, Lord! “Go, LORD!” “LANCE sent out DRAGONITE!” Oh my god!!! “LORD used OMG!” “LORD: OMG OMG OMG OMG!” “LORD’s GOD’s OHS fell on MY FOOT!”
“Foe DRAGONITE was PUT in a HOLY PAPER SHREADER!” “Enemy DRAGONITE fainted!”
“Enemy DRATINI died!” Hahaha! “What? Enemy DRATINI is evolving!” Huh?! “Enemy DRATINI evolved into GHOSTDRAGON!” Uh oh… “Enemy GHOSTDRAGON used EVAPORATE!” Oh no… I cant watch… “Enemy GHOSTDRAGON evaporated!” … I guess that’s a good thing… “Enemy GHOSTDRAGON fainted!” “Enemy LANCE is about to use LANCE! Change Pokemon?” Ah, so you want to fight me yourself, ai?! Go me! “Return, LORD! Go OUTLAWRIKKS!” “LANCE sent out LANCE!” HEY! That’s not Lance… that’s a spear weapon thingy! “LANCE as in the WEAPON! Not LANCE the person, MORON!” Grrr! Well, I’ll use Shoot! “OUTLAWRIKKS used SHOOT!” “Enemy LANCE was shot!” “Enemy LANCE broke in HALF!” “Enemy LANCE died!” Yeeeeeeeeeeees! “LANCE is about to send out LANCE! Change Pokemon?” Is this the person Lance? “YES!” Than no. “LANCE sent out LANCE!” Lets see what we can do… “LANCE used IAMYOURFATHER!” “LANCE: I am your father…” GAWK! “It’s super effective! Gunshot! “OUTLAWRIKKS flinched!” What am I saying? I cannot kill my own father… “LANCE used TOSS!” “LANCE and OUTLAWRIKKS are PLAYING CATCH!” I have to snap out of it… have to win this thing. ME use tackle! “OUTLAWRIKKS used TAKLE!” “LANCE wasn’t EXPECTING a HIT!” “LANCE fainted!”
“LANCE disappeared!” Woah! That was a long battle! “IT WAS!” “IT’S now time to END THIS!” “BATTLE used END!”
Location: Pokemon League HQ Player: SAL [1-2-0][Hoenn Region Champion] (Pokemon Lineup: RAICHU[dead], DITTO [dead], ONIX, TORCHIC, MEOWTH) I may have lost before… but this is a whole new slate of cardboard. “SLATE of CARDBOARD? 0.o” Yes… my own domain… MY OWN VICTORY! Location: Slate of Cardboard in SAL’s DOMAIN and VICTORY … That wasn’t funny. But why am I standing in hell on top of a burning piece of cardboard..? … Uh oh. Location: Pokemon League HQ Thank you. “No PROBLEM!” “!”
“DOJO: I am the leader of this GYM! Hahahahahaha!” This is a gym..? “DOJO: No… but I want to be a gym leader some day. I’m just practicing ” … Whatever. Prepare to lose. “DOJO: Gym leaders don’t lose to the likes of you!” Well you’re not a gym leader. “DOJO: …” Heh, lets start this. “DOJO wants to fight!” “DOJO sent out MONK!” My Onix would be more than enough to kill of this simpleton. “Go, ONIX!” Now, Onix! Use Rock Smash! “ONIX used ROCK SMASH!” “ONIX turned into a ROCK!” … “It’s not very effective.” Riiiiiiite. “ONIX started KILLING ROCKS!” … Uh oh. “ONIX killed ITSELF!” “ONIX died!” What?! Noooooooooooooo…! Not another one of my precious Pokemon! Grrrrr, Monk! You shall pay for that! “Enemy MONK points out HE didn’t even MAKE a MOVE yet!” SUUUUUURE! That’s what they ALL say! Go now, my trusty Torchic! “The enemy is strong, Get’m, TORCHIC!” Use Flame Thrower! “TORCHIC was set ABLAZE!” NOT ON YOURSELF~!! I MEANT ON MONK!! “YOU should have SAID SO!” I did… errr… GRRR! “TORCHIC fainted.” Thank god only fainted… “TOCHIC is STILL on FIRE!” Uh-oh… I have to help it! “Can’t escape!” Damn it! I forgot about the battle! “YOU have 15 LINES before your TORCHIC dies!” LINE1: Damn you! LINE2: “DOJO: Line wasting time ^^!” LINE3: No you don’t, it’s all up to you, Meowth! LINE4: “Getm, MEOWTH!” LINE5: “MEOWTH joined Enemy MONK!” LINE6: WHAAAAAT?! You’re all against me *sob* NOW… you shall pay! LINE7: “Go! SAL!” LINE8: “Enemy MEOWTH used FURY SWIPES!” LINE9: “Enemy MEOWTH’s attacked missed.” LINE10: HAHAHAHA! Sal Fury! LINE11: “SAL used SAL FURY!” LINE12: “Enemy MEWOTH and MONK fainted!” LINE 13: “DOJO: Fine… fine… I give up, you win…”
“TORCHIC died.” Noooooooooooooooooo..! My Torchic… my first Pokemon… Come back to me!! “SLAKOTH appeared!” Wha? Wha? You want to be my Pokemon? “SLAKOTH used POKeBALL!” “SLAKOTH was caught!” Thank you, kind Slakoth. I will train you like my Torchic… Good bye, Torchic, Good bye, my last memorys from the Hoenn Region… “THIS BATTLE was FUNNY!” … Are you kidding? It was an emotional breakdown!! HOW CAN ANYONE FIND THIS FUNNY?! “The VIEWERS will!” Sure they will… while I mourn to myself! “SAL is CRYING like a LITTLE GIRL!” … WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! “BATTLE used END!” Battle 47: Pokemon League III Location: Pokemon League HQ Player: McSAJAR [no record yet] (Pokemon Lineup: SYTHER, SCIZOR, PINSIR) Now… NOW..! Everyone will know the true power of McSAJAR! “SAL is enraged!” What’s your problem, urine boy? “SAL turned RED!” Harharhar, no seriously, what? “SAL wants to KNOW why you can have a LOWERCASE LETTER in your NAME!” Hmmm… Well.., you see, Da Zombie Man is my brother… “SAL wants to KNOW if that means…” Yes. I’m a son of the narrator “SAL: GACK!” Father always liked me best, though. “NARRATOR agrees” “SCREAMS can be HEARD from DAZOMBIEMAN’s BEDROOM!” “SAL: …”
“KAIN sent out CECIL!” Oh my lord… How did you fit a man inside that Pokeball? “KAIN: CECIL is my slave. I can do whatever I want with him.” I don’t want to know… Anyway… Pinsir! Use your Guillotine attack now! “PINSIR used GUILLOTINE!” “It’s a one hit KO!” “Enemy CECIL fainted!”
“NARRATOR says KAIN has a POINT…” No he doesn’t. “NARRATOR says he DOES!” “NARRATOR agrees to NOT be BIASED this BATTLE!” That’ll be a first. “There is a FIRST TIME for EVERYTHING!” “KAIN sent out KAIN!” Now, Pinsir! Guillotine! “PINSIR used GUILLOTINE!” “But it missed!” What? That must be a narration error. “NOPE!” Cmon, Dad, you know that it was. “McSAJAR is mistaken!” “McSAJAR was forced to shut up in his mistake!” … Interesting. So you are being completely unbaised, huh..? “YES!” I see… “KAIN jumped up high!” hmmm… So this is a copy of “Fly” I get it. Pinsir! Sky Upercut! “PINSIR used SKY UPERCUT!” “It’s not very effective…” Hmmm… Maybe this Kain is a flying type Pokemon…? “CORRECT” I’m so smart. “KAIN used JUMP!” “Critical hit!” “PINSIR fainted, use next Pokemon?”
“Enemy KAIN ate the attack!” Is that even possible? “YES!” … You are being biased, Narrator. AGAINST ME! I knew you couldn’t be unbiased… |