Marshmallow with a penis
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|  Yüklə 28.5 Kb.
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| Matterhorn
ARLEEN. I do not hate you. JERRY. Sure, you do. ARLEEN. I am not a hateful person. JERRY. I suppose “marshmallow with a penis” was a term of endearment. ARLEEN. Are you seriously suggesting we just go around matter- of-factly hating each other? JERRY. Yes. ARLEEN. Don’t you think that might have a negative effect on the chil— (Calling out:) Kevin, put your clothes back on! Lisa, get off that dwarf!!
ourselves. ARLEEN. I do not hate you. JERRY. I hate you. ARLEEN. That’s a fine thing to say in the Magic Kingdom. JERRY. But you do hate me. ARLEEN. The subject is closed. JERRY. Arleen... ARLEEN. (As in, “Shut up!”) Jerry! JERRY. (Trying to make his point:) You know I will never go more than five miles over the posted speed limit... (Arleen doesn’t want to hear about this. JERRY presses on.) JERRY. You know I will never complain about food at a restaurant, no matter how bad it is... (Arleen is beginning to get angry but tries not to show it.) JERRY. I’m never going to improve sexually... (Arleen starts to boil but holds it in.) JERRY. I’m going to be eating large curd cottage cheese and Melba toast for breakfast every morning for the rest of my life. (Arleen can barely hold it in, but she refuses to respond.) JERRY. (Singing, sort of:) “It’s a small world after all, It’s a small world after all...” ARLEEN. (Exploding:) ALL RIGHT! I HATE YOU!! Now are you satisfied?! I hate you! I hate your ugly little toes, and I hate your grubby little hairs, and I hate everything that’s in-between. God, I hate you! I hate you so much I not only hate everything about you I’ve always hated about you, but I even hate all those things about you I once found cute! Are you satisfied?! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! (Her explosion over, ARLEEN now feels very vulnerable. JERRY can sense this.) JERRY. (Warmly:) If it makes you feel better, I hate you just as much. ARLEEN. You do? |