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YOU JUST CAN'T DRIVE DRUNK From my perspective, Diana and Dodi died in a car crash as a result of extremely high speed in a tunnel. It didn't help that the lovely couple were in the backseat making out which was distracting the drunken driver. How could it have been such a foul proof plot to kill the couple with all the reporters around to witness the crash? Was the driver a terrorist? The rumor mill claims Diana was pregnant and they were heading to the Little Chapel in Las Vegas to get married. Below is the official inquest into their death paperwork. I couldn't get a copy of the marriage license. Sorry.
Posted by: cj on Jan 06, 04 | 8:14 am | Profile [1] comments (225 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks YES YES YES YES 
Posted by: The Theorist on Jan 06, 04 | 7:50 am | Profile [3] comments (254 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Good E-mail Got an e-mail from my dad. I usually don't post this stuff but I couldn't resist. "A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. She considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat, but her father was a staunch Republican. One day she was challenging her father on his beliefs and his opposition to high taxes and welfare programs. He stopped her and asked how she was doing in school. She answered that she had a 4.0 GPA, but it was really tough. She had to study all the time and never had time to go out and party. She didn't have time for a boyfriend and didn't really have many college friends because of spending all her time studying. On top of that, the part-time job her father insisted she keep left absolutely no time for anything else. He asked, 'How is your friend Mary?' She replied that Mary was barely getting by. She had a 2.0 GPA, never studied, but was very popular on campus, didn't have a job, and went to all the parties. To view the rest of the joke:
Posted by: Spazticus on Jan 06, 04 | 7:19 am | Profile [1] comments (256 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Yarbz Morning Photo Caption: Heinz on Kerry's Meat! 
Yarbz caption: John Kerry's wife, T. Heinz Kerry, watches him like a hawk as Bill Clinton introduces him to some of his former White House interns during the White House Intern Reunion and Wet T-shirt Contest. Heinz has been quoted stating, "I will always be on his meat, from his hotdog to his meatballs. I'll be his favorite spread and no intern shall cum between us." Heinz controls her man with sharp claws, steel eyed stares and biting teeth. Heinz, is also known for her very friendly face and smile, and is shown here during one of those famous smiling moments. Original Caption Theresa Heinz Kerry, wife of Democratic presidential candidate Massachusetts Senator John Kerry introduces her husband at a campaign event in Des Moines, Iowa January 5, 2004. Kerry proposed a $25 billion package to aid states and recharge the economy. REUTERS/Rick Wilking Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 06, 04 | 6:57 am | Profile [4] comments (294 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Bush Tries LSD, Sees Trails: Bush Amazed By Effects of LSD! 
Caption: President Bush is greeted at a political fundraiser at the America Center, Monday, Jan. 5, 2004, in St. Louis. The event is expected to raise $2.8 million for his re-election campaign . (AP Photo/Lawrence Jackson) Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 06, 04 | 6:54 am | Profile [5] comments (288 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Harassed 'Saddam' Seeks New Name Article from Yahoo I hope this guy was drunk when he named his kid. Wait he can't drink so he must have been sober. Can you say Dumbass! Posted by: Spazticus on Jan 06, 04 | 6:53 am | Profile [10] comments (348 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Ozzy "I'll never go near one of those damn bikes again ... I am lucky to be here today and not paralyzed." -- OZZY OSBOURNE, who fractured eight ribs and a vertebra after falling off his quad bike, in Britain's Sunday Mirror. Posted by: Spazticus on Jan 06, 04 | 6:48 am | Profile [3] comments (295 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Hey World! Deal With It! You Don't Have to Come! 
With all the whining and moaning about our new security policy, you'd think that people would just not come. OK! That's it. don't come or shut the fook up! We don't care. we are at war and if you can't allow yourself to be photographed, touch shit! Maybe we should charge the country of origin for any damages that occur as a result of anyone entering our country from that particular country. If some idiot comes from Brazil, performs an act of terror, or fellatio for that matter, we bill Brazil for all consequential damages. If they don't pay, we go get the money. Caption: A US Customs and Border Protection officer uses the new US-VISIT biometric program on a visitor from Brazil. The US began taking photographs and fingerprints of most arriving foreigners as part of a heightened anti-terrorist campaign, but its demand for armed sky marshalls on flights stirred new international controversy(AFP/Getty Images/Erik S. Lesser) Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 06, 04 | 6:44 am | Profile [3] comments (265 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Mon Jan 05, 2004 Incoming Hard to believe US Customs is beginning to fingerprint and photograph new immigrants. The US should have treated them like regular American citizens a long time ago. When I was born, fingerprints, footprints and photo were taken immediately. Blood was also drawn to determine my blood type (DNA is on file for everyone probably). There should not be any complaints from the immigrants.... the footprinting and blood giving we are forced to go through with our American newborns, then and now, is not being demanded from the incoming aliens. Posted by: cj on Jan 05, 04 | 5:29 pm | Profile
[1] comments (256 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Experience Eagles! I am lucky to live in Missouri, second only to Alaska for wintering bald eagles. I spent a lot of time this weekend watching them, seeing them dive for fish and mating. Wish everyone had the opportunity to sit in my wonderful viewing spot, 40 feet above the Osage River where the Eagles are almost eye level. Absolutely gorgeous. I thought I seen Buddha hugging a tree down below! Posted by: cj on Jan 05, 04 | 2:48 pm | Profile
[2] comments (270 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Spirit of Mars! In order for me to drive this thing I'd have to have a few drinks just to calm my nerves. One wrong turn and it's history......crash would be even more remembered than the landing probably. What a great landing it was! Congratulations NASA team! IMAGE! Posted by: cj on Jan 05, 04 | 2:42 pm | Profile [8] comments (344 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Now I'm scared!!! 
Howard Dean's response when asked how he would beat Dennis Kusinich if he was the only other Democrat in the race. When asked how he would beat General Wesley Clark, Dean responded, "Well-umm-well you know when I was governer of Vermont -" Posted by: The Theorist on Jan 05, 04 | 11:07 am | Profile
[4] comments (293 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks BB Natural Selection Corner 2003 Golden Butt Award Nominees I had a hard time deciding which idiot deserved the prestigious Golden Butt Award for 2003. Not surprisingly two of my nominees are also selected to the Darwin Awards. Here are the nominees: 1) Saddam Hussein– This one needs no links.
Help me to pick the winner. Please everyone who visits leave your vote and reason in the See What Others Oozed section. Posted by: Spazticus on Jan 05, 04 | 10:27 am | Profile [6] comments (321 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Numb Nuts Dude of the Day: "I Ate A Baby!" 
Why did he do this? He is a pretty interesting dude, but he musta' got jealous of MJ's bad press. The croc, like Fat Bastard, wants to eat that baby. The hell with that food in the other hand... Luckily, baby didn't get eaten. Dumb and numb! Caption: Australian Steve Irwin, famous for his TV show 'The Crocodile Hunter' cradles his month-old son, Robert, under one arm and feeds piece of meat to a 13-foot crocodile in an image from television during Friday Jan. 2, 2004, at his Australia Zoo reptile park in Brisbane, Australia. (AP Photo/Channel 7 via APTN) Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 05, 04 | 10:18 am | Profile [11] comments (457 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Mre of the Same at Democratic Debate: Sophomoric Antics! 
"Pull my finger butt hole" "No way assbag!"... Need I say more? Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 05, 04 | 10:15 am | Profile
[2] comments (313 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Yarbz Morning Photo Caption: Free Shelby! 
Yarbz Caption: Ford Motor Company has introduced the new Ford Shelby Juggernut. Ford has promised to deliver one free Shelby Juggernut to the member of Juggernuts.com with the most interesting, funny and insightful post buy the end of 2004. This concept car features and passenger side Democrat detector and auto-ejection seat set up to eject any democrat riding in the seat while you go through an underpass. Helmut not included. Original Caption: Ford Motor Company introduce's the new Ford Shelby Cobra concept during the press day at the North American International Auto Show in Detroit, Michigan, January 4, 2004. The concept features a 6.4-liter engine, with 605 horsepower and 501 foot-pounds of torque. The car gets its name from Carroll Shelby, the biggest name in American auto racing in the 1960s and a Ford icon for the ages. REUTERS/Rebecca Cook Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 05, 04 | 10:05 am | Profile [8] comments (418 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks NO TITLE NEEDED!!!! 
Posted by: The Theorist on Jan 05, 04 | 5:14 am | Profile [3] comments (259 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Sat Jan 03, 2004 Dumbass High-Dives into Muddy Tiber From CNN ROME, Italy (Reuters) -- Four Romans braved the chill to dive 52 feet (17 meters) off a bridge into the muddy River Tiber to mark a New Year tradition on Thursday. A crowd of hundreds cheered the divers as they flung themselves off the Cavour Bridge into the swirling river that winds through Rome. Italian diver Aldo Corrieri, 40, dedicated the event, which has taken place since 1946, to world peace. "I'm dedicating this to peace in the world and to the hope that these terrorist attacks stop -- these attacks that make humanity live in terror," he told Reuters Television. But fellow diver Maurizio Palmoni, in his late sixties, who has taken part for the past 16 years and is not sure whether he will be back next year, was less concerned about world peace. "This year I'm dedicating my dive to myself," he said. Posted by: Spazticus on Jan 03, 04 | 10:07 am | Profile [0] comments (251 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks What happened to Repulican Philosophy??? I have ALWAYS thought that smaller government and states right are VERY important. Along with Constitutional rights given to the federal government. These are NOT Repulican moves, and it makes me question who is running the party now, and what happened. How very Democratic... Posted by: The Theorist on Jan 03, 04 | 2:24 am | Profile [0] comments (253 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Fri Jan 02, 2004 VICTORIA'S SECRET Just a thought, new thongs from Victoria's Secret have cloth in the front and beads in the back. Would you want to have a beaded weggie? Or worst yet, be standing next to your department's director and the beads break and fall from under your skirt to the floor? Explain that. Hmmm? Posted by: cj on Jan 02, 04 | 2:56 pm | Profile
[3] comments (297 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks RIP-OFF MECHANICS I want to kick some major ass...place a man's balls in a snapping turtle's clutch..pour honey on this idiot and tie him to a red fire ant hole. I mean I am pissed off. I paid to have my car's transmission rebuilt, got a six month warranty, and thought all was fine..until my front end locked up while I was luckily going 30 mph instead of the 80 I was doing five minutes before. The next day I called the idiot mechanic who said he'd honor the warranty. It took him a week to get my car picked up and towed to his shop and that was only after I threatened lawsuit, reporting to better business bureau, demanded a refund and went to his place to kick his ass. Prior to him even towing my car back for the work...Get this he offered to trade me a Ford INSTEAD of fixing my toyota! WTF!!! That pissed me off. If I wanted a Ford I would have bought a Ford! He never fixed my car but he put in a used transmission and everything seems to being working okay, but a rebuild job is suppose to be like new -- isn't it? To top it all off after I got the first work done on the car I got a new set of tires too, thinking a trip to ocean would be wonderful and wanted my car in shape. Something wasn't right with the tires after a short time and I returned to the tire store where I am told my tires were wore out in 8,000 miles and they were 50,000 mile tires. Okay, tire failure and I get four more for a small fee. Now I know why the tires wore out. The guy who towed my car to get first work done on transmission towed it wrong and now my alignment is screwed. Why can't people do quality work anymore... what happened to customer satisfaction, quality over quantity? I need to go now and kick the tow guys ass. This flare up of memory was caused by a man who came in wanting to talk to an attorney about his tune up that cost him $215 and on Christmas his car wouldn't start because the rotor screw had broken off and it had to be tapped out costing him another $120 for a total price of $335 for a tune up. Hello man, we do child support and benefit hearings here, these attorneys aren't free even if your brother does work here. I have a hang over and I came to work when the weather is suppose to be 70 degrees on January 2nd in the middle of Missouri. My day sucks! Posted by: cj on Jan 02, 04 | 1:29 pm | Profile
[3] comments (341 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Thu Jan 01, 2004 British spies warned of U.S. plans to invade Arab states British spies warned of U.S. plans to invade Arab states. That's the Headline with a picture of Richard Nixon and alledged details of a plan to invade the Middle-East. I am outraged and demand that they send this to Showtime immediately! Posted by: FloridaBill on Jan 01, 04 | 3:23 pm | Profile [0] comments (234 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Weird and Wacky Reigned Supreme in 2003 Happy New Year Everyone! I am nursing a hangover today and suspect some of my fellow JuggHeads are doing the same. Thought I'd kick off the year with a nice article reviewing 2003 so enjoy! Weird and Wacky Reigned Supreme in 2003 
Posted by: Spazticus on Jan 01, 04 | 11:31 am | Profile [2] comments (299 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks |