Brain sandwich
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Real Man's Football: Here comes the cold just in time for the Patriots vs. Titans game. I guess McNair will be creaking pretty bad inthis weather. From the Weather Channel:
Keep in mind it's a night game so if there is any wind the wind chills will be well into the below zero range. Win or lose, all those dudes will earn their money saturday! Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 08, 04 | 8:50 am | Profile
[2] comments (248 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks LIAR! This guy is engaged to marry one of my co-workers. I am shocked that he has ruined his career, had the audacity to commit perjury, incarcerated people who may have been innocent, caused great county expenditures in freeing them from prison/releasing from probations, and now the payouts on the lawsuits that followed. I'd like to knock some sense into my co-worker so she will wake up and realize this guy is a loser. DIRTYCOP Posted by: cj on Jan 08, 04 | 8:43 am | Profile [4] comments (275 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Famous Patton Movie Speech: Here is the best opening movie speech ever. Did Patton actually say these things? I don't know and I don't care, it's a great and motivational bunch of words. ________________ As performed by the great George C. Scott in the opening scene of "Patton": Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country. Men, all this stuff you’ve heard about America not wanting to fight, wanting to stay out of the war, is a lot of horse dung. Americans traditionally love to fight. All real Americans love the sting of battle. When you were kids, you all admired the champion marble shooter, the fastest runner, the big league ball player, the toughest boxer. Americans love a winner and will not tolerate a loser. Americans play to win all the time. I wouldn’t give a hoot in hell for a man who lost and laughed. That’s why Americans have never lost and will never lose a war. Because the very thought of losing is hateful to Americans. Now, an Army is a team. It lives, eats, sleeps, fights as a team. This individuality stuff is a bunch of crap. The bilious bastards who wrote that stuff about individuality for the Saturday Evening Post don’t know anything more about real battle than they do about fornicating. We have the finest food and equipment, the best spirit and the best men in the world. You know, by God I actually pity those poor bastards we’re going up against. By God, I do. We’re not just going to shoot the bastards, we’re going to cut out their living guts and use them to grease the treads of our tanks. We’re going to murder those lousy Hun bastards by the bushel. Now, some of you boys, I know, are wondering whether or not you'll chicken out under fire. Don't worry about it. I can assure you that you will all do your duty. The Nazis are the enemy. Wade into them. Spill their blood. Shoot them in the belly. When you put your hand into a bunch of goo that a moment before was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do. Now there’s another thing I want you to remember. I don’t want to get any messages saying that we are holding our position. We’re not holding anything. Let the Hun do that. We are advancing constantly and we’re not interested in holding onto anything except the enemy. We're going to hold onto him by the nose and we're going to kick him in the ass. We're going to kick the hell out of him all the time and we're gonna go through him like crap through a goose. There’s one thing that you men will be able to say when you get back home. And you may thank God for it. Thirty years from now when you’re sitting around your fireside with your grandson on your knee and he asks you what did you do in the great World War II, you won’t have to say, "Well, I shoveled shit in Louisiana." Alright now, you sons-of-bitches, you know how I feel. Oh, and I will be proud to lead you wonderful guys into battle – anytime, anywhere. That’s all. Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 08, 04 | 7:48 am | Profile
[1] comments (242 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Yarbz Morning Photo Caption: Give Him A Big Hand... 
Oh, don't bother, he's already got one you see. Yarbz Caption: Democratic presidential hopeless, John Kerry, shows off his new hand he received during a 13 hour surgical operation at Massachusetts General Hospital Wednesday evening. The hand, which Kerry has nicknamed his "monster orgasm maker" will come in handy if he ever gets elected to the Presidency. His other hand was not large enough, in his opinion, to satisfy the needs of the interns he hopes to employ. Kerry stated his goal was to make all memories of Bill Clinton fade as he learns to use his new hand properly. When asked about the size of his member, Kerry would only say that he was hopeful that he would someday find it. Original Caption: Democratic presidential candidate U.S. Senator John Kerry (D-MA) waves to an onlooker as he boards his campaign bus after a speech in Bedford, New Hampshire, January 7, 2003. Kerry outlined a plan to protect workers' rights as a new poll showed him slipping further behind in New Hampshire's first state primary later this month. Building on economic initiatives announced on Monday, Kerry proposed creating a White House 'pocketbook watchdog' to guard Americans' pensions, protect their personal information from identify theft and ensure fair lending and housing. REUTERS/Brian Snyder Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 08, 04 | 6:42 am | Profile [3] comments (263 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Sugar Addict! I was getting my morning coffee and got my large cup and started pumping the coffee. The lady next to me, obviously not a corporate person, possibly semi-homeless or mental or something, filled her cup only half way. I thought to myself, ‘wow, she likes cream!’ I continued to pump the coffee as I watched this crazy lady turn over the glass container, eight inch tall sugar container, over to sweeten her coffee. I watched amazed as she let it pour into her coffee, and pour and pour. She literally used a quarter of the container. I was so amazed I forget I was pumping my coffee and I over-filled my cup and splashed all over my hand and the counter. The crazy woman looked at me like I was stupid. I was dumbfounded and in shock and awe because of what I saw. Remember the scene from Dirty Harry where he is in San Francisco and he walks into the coffee shop to get coffee and there are three evil doers who were in the middle of robbing the place. He didn't know and the lady kept putting sugar in his coffee and kept pouring and kept pouring to get his attention until he left. I thought of this scene when I watched her. Crazy man! Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 08, 04 | 6:32 am | Profile
[0] comments (204 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks This Week In Rock: Thanks to Musciansfriend.com: This is the week that was in matters musical... 1957, Elvis takes the army pre-induction exam in Memphis on his 22nd birthday and passes... 1966, the final episode of "Shindig" airs featuring the Kinks and The Who... 1968, Bob Dylan is elected president, Paul Butterfield vice-president, and George Harrison is elected U.N. ambassador ... the election is a grass-ballot held by San Francisco's KMPX-FM, a "pioneering underground" radio station ... Aretha Franklin earns her fourth gold single with "Chain of Fools" ... the song will later win a Grammy for Best R&B Performance by a Female ... this same week, The Supremes appear on the TV show "Tarzan" in unlikely roles as a group of nuns ... also this week, Jimi Hendrix, who has just moved into the home where Handel composed his "Water Music," tells The London Daily Mirror that he will maintain tradition by composing there... 1970, Max Yasgur is sued by his neighbors for property damage they suffered during the 1969 Woodstock Festival... 1973, Elvis sues Priscilla for divorce ... Eric Clapton plays a comeback concert at the Rainbow Theatre in London... More... Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 08, 04 | 6:28 am | Profile [2] comments (363 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Wed Jan 07, 2004 BALLS!!! BIG BIG BALLS!!! I love this guy!!! Unlike the other pussies who are running, he gets it. I had the fortune to serve under him twice, and I can tell you if Carl wants some... Clarks nuts... Posted by: The Theorist on Jan 07, 04 | 4:59 pm | Profile [6] comments (320 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks 50 ways to help a diet, MY ASS! Fucking Diet Commentary My buddy FB sent a link to me regarding 50 diet tips that was on yahoo news. They were fucking retarded. I have made a few comments on them: 1. Take three bites less of everything. Three bites less of a typical fast-food burger will save you 100 calories, while leaving a couple of bites on your plate at each meal will spare you significant calories. Since our portions are almost always more than we need, you won't even notice.
2. Streamline your pizza. By cutting out the cheese and meat toppings, and subbing extra sauce and veggies, you'll save about 100 calories per slice. Well, why not cut the dough with your cheese and meat? Or, just eat fucking vegetable and skip the pizza? Send the money you save to Ethiopia or some farmer who had his herd “thinned” by the feds killing of his mad cows. Christ! WTF? Order a pizza and hold the cheese and meat? That ain’t a pizza. There's more in the following spew link... More... Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 07, 04 | 2:47 pm | Profile [21] comments (468 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Here's a Laugh A jumbo jet is just coming into the Toronto Airport on it's final approach. The pilot comes on the intercom, "This is your Captain. We're on our final descent into Toronto. I want to thank you for flying with us today and I hope you enjoy your stay in Toronto." He forgets to switch off the intercom. Now the whole plane can hear his conversation from the cockpit. The co-pilot says to the pilot, "Well, skipper, watcha gonna do in Toronto?" "Well," says the skipper, "first I'm gonna check into the hotel and take a big crap.....then I'm gonna take that new stewardess with the huge tits out for dinner..... then I'm gonna wine and dine her, take her back to my room and bang her all night." Everyone on the plane hears this and immediately begins looking up and down the aisles trying to get a look at the new stewardess. Meanwhile the new stewardess is at the very back of the plane. She's so embarrassed that she starts to run to try and get to the cockpit to turn the intercom off. Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old lady's bag and down she goes. The old lady leans over and says: "No need to hurry dear. He's gotta take a shit first." Posted by: cj on Jan 07, 04 | 2:12 pm | Profile [2] comments (236 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks PRISON BOUND This couple caused the financial collapse of Enron and are now plea bargaining for prison sentences. WTF! I'm sick of plea bargaining. Put them in front of a bulldozer and flatten the fuckers. FASTOW Posted by: cj on Jan 07, 04 | 1:52 pm | Profile [7] comments (256 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks DORK FACE ALERT! Beware of Dork! 
D orky E ccentric A ss N ibbler Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 07, 04 | 12:01 pm | Profile [2] comments (233 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks IS ANYONE REALLY WORKING TODAY? This place sure is busy!!! Posted by: The Theorist on Jan 07, 04 | 10:30 am | Profile
[12] comments (289 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Star Wars: The Return of the Emperor! "In time you will call me Master!" 
Oh my God! The Emperor has returned to kill more little monkey/teddy bear looking Ewok bastards on that crazed planet Endor! Caption: Home coming : An Iraqi refugee woman who claimed to be 120 but refused to be identified, reacts as she arrives at the port of Basra after living in exhile in Iran. (AFP/Mauricio Lima) I would tend to believe her about her age. Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 07, 04 | 10:25 am | Profile [7] comments (283 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Dumb Grotesque Skank: How to Tell a Skank: 
In her other hand, there is a warm Budweiser. What a skank. Double extra skank... Caption: A woman smokes a cigarette as she holds an ice-cream cone in downtown Rome, Friday, July 26, 2002. Women who smoke may have a far higher risk of breast cancer than those who do not, or those who once smoked but quit, U.S. researchers reported on Tuesday. (AP Photo/Marianna Bertagnolli) Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 07, 04 | 10:20 am | Profile [7] comments (335 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Yarbz Morning Photo Caption: Vee Kill You! 
Yarbz Caption: Arnold Schwarzenegger delivers his first state Address at the Sacramento State Assembly Chamber in California. Mr. Schwarzenegger told it like it is to the over-spending , irresponsible members of the Assembly. "I vill mayk maahsive cuts in zee budget. You Baastards and Beeches have spent za money in ze irresponsible vay. You vill now do as I say you vill do. Vee shall not put up vit any more bull sheet from you faahkers. Anyvun who duz not see it zis vay must die. I vill do zee killing now." Nobody disagreed with the Governor, and nobdy spoke. California will have to go without kissing the asses of illegal aliens and Democratic votes bought from poor people with tax money. Original Caption: California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger delivers his first State address at the Sacramento State Assembly Chamber, January 6, 2004. Schwarzenegger, in his most important speech so far as governor, warned that he will have to make massive spending cuts and secure passage of a $15 billion bond plan to save California from going into bankruptcy in June. (Kimberly White/Reuters) Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 07, 04 | 10:03 am | Profile [1] comments (263 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks My Fun Tongue Click below: Tongue Posted by: cj on Jan 07, 04 | 9:34 am | Profile [2] comments (274 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Some things never change!!! 
When presented with a choice, Toby just couldn't make up his mind. Posted by: The Theorist on Jan 07, 04 | 9:09 am | Profile
[3] comments (263 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Talk about out of left field. This is one of the last things I ever thought I would see... You go Joe... Posted by: The Theorist on Jan 07, 04 | 8:40 am | Profile [13] comments (299 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Arkansas 86's Mentally Ill Murderer Here is Charles Singleton: mentally ill, convicted murderer and put to death yesterday in Arkansas by lethal injection. Why do they put the guy in a sterile room, prep his arm with alcohol, then inject him with a lethal cocktail of drugs to kill him? I have no problem with his execution, but as Yarbz points out, why don't we just put them under the Space Shuttle when it is taking off and then we don't have to waste money on sterile rooms and swabs and the like. We could probably do about 30 or 40 convicted murderers at once. We even save on burial expenses. I also don't get why we are infatuated with what a death row inmate has as their last meal. Unless it was Brittany Jean Spears, I don't wanna hear it. More... Posted by: FloridaBill on Jan 07, 04 | 7:58 am | Profile
[9] comments (304 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks BB Natural Selection Corner The Article Well this week we have two winners a mother and son team! VANCOUVER, Wash. - A man got his mother to try to post bail with $500 in poorly made counterfeit bills from his wallet, city police and Clark County authorities say. The episode began when Trilane A. Ludwig, 24, of Vancouver, was arrested after a traffic stop early New Year's Day for reasons that were not given in a police report. More... Posted by: Spazticus on Jan 07, 04 | 6:34 am | Profile
[1] comments (220 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Thieves vanish with a fortune in ladies underwear CARACAS (AFP) - A gang of thieves robbed a Caracas boutique of a small fortune in ladies underwear during New Year's festivities. Thieves forced the doors of El Palacio de Blumer (The Bloomer Palace) on Sabana Grande Boulevard in central Caracas sometime between New Year's Eve and January 1, police told the daily El Mundo. The thieves made off with a load of panties, brassieres and lingerie, police said. Posted by: Spazticus on Jan 07, 04 | 6:32 am | Profile
[4] comments (242 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Hillary Watch Article Hillary Clinton Regrets Gandhi Joke at Fund-raiser St. Louis (AP) - Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton apologized for joking that Mahatma Gandhi used to run a gas station in St. Louis, saying it was "a lame attempt at humor." The New York Democrat made the remark at a fund-raiser Saturday. During an event here for Senate candidate Nancy Farmer, Clinton introduced a quote from Gandhi by saying, "He ran a gas station down in St. Louis." More... Posted by: Spazticus on Jan 07, 04 | 6:29 am | Profile
[6] comments (600 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Tue Jan 06, 2004 WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME? A woman was taken off a flight from Paris to Cincinnati on Tuesday because of suspicious wires in her coat but security officials later determined she was not a threat. Still, out of an abundance of caution, U.S. officials said they planned to re-screen passengers and baggage aboard Delta Flight 43 after its landing, scheduled for around 3:40 p.m. EST Tuesday. Transportation Security Administration spokeswoman Jenifer Marty said the plane would be kept away from the terminal. A Homeland Security official, speaking on condition of anonymity, said a passenger was taken off the plane before it departed from France because of concerns about the wires. It later was learned the wires were part of her leather motorcycle jacket. Posted by: cj on Jan 06, 04 | 2:25 pm | Profile [8] comments (278 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Pete Rose OK, here is the place to lay it down, to get it off your chests. Let's here what you Juggies think about Pete Rose. I was a kid in Tampa when I first encountered Charlie Hustle. The Reds had spring training every year down there. We went and saw cheap games with the likes of Johnny Bench, Joe Morgan and of course, Pete. He was awesome: always on base; always running, even when he got walked. His glove was pretty good too. He was no less than great. Here is a guy destined for the Hall of Fame. He still holds the record for the most base hits. That is, until he gets cornered for betting on baseball and agrees to a lifetime ban from the sport, including any eligibility for the Hall of Fame. He AGREED to it. He then spends the next 14 years lying about whether or not he bet on baseball. Not until this week does he come clean. Try this one that calls Rose what he is, a big fat liar. Or this one from the Reds Enquirer that gives a time line for Rose's career. This one stops just short of changing Rose's nick-name to Charlie Hustler. Rob Dibble @ ESPN thinks he should get in now(see the full article in More of this Spew). I do not. This is a punishment metered out by the folks who supervise and control baseball. Rose AGREED to the ban when it was imposed. I agree that he should be in the Hall of Fame, but he has to get dead first. More... Posted by: FloridaBill on Jan 06, 04 | 12:11 pm | Profile
[18] comments (431 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Proud to be an American One Texas soldier was sent to his burial in style. We should all be proud. LINK HERE Posted by: cj on Jan 06, 04 | 10:52 am | Profile [2] comments (214 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks |