Bittersweet Goodbye’s

“YUUUUUUGIIIIIIIIIIIIII.”

“Alright, sheesh!”
~*~
Tea had made some macaroni and cheese, and that had been inhaled by everyone, except Yugi, who had instead had to be cajoled into a few bites of Yami’s, but he did eat a little, and for his friends sakes at least. Yami sat with his back against the couch Indian style, with Yugi sitting in the hollow between his legs. Yugi was leaning back against Yami contentedly, and was sipping a soda. The others were occupying the couch like a litter of puppies, everyone lopped over everyone else, except for the ever antisocial Yami-Bakura, who was still holding his sleeping Aibou, and was tolerating Tristan’s cheek resting against his knee surprisingly well. Tea had turned on the television, and they had universally decided on some T.V show about gardening. It was that or the news. Everyone seemed to be getting a kick out of it though; the host was obviously half drunk or something. Either way, it was as close to a comedy as they got. They cajoled each other a little, thought it was more subdued than usual, but the strain was lifting a little. There was even some laughing, and Yugi even baited Tristan into a debate over what the host was on. Time dragged on, and three or four shows later, it was definitely time for bed.

It was Tea who pointed out the fact as she shook a sleepy Joey awake and Yami stood, lifting a heavy-eyed Yugi to his chest. Bakura was still sleeping, so everyone looked to his Yami.

“Where you want us to sleep?” Tristan slurred as he pushed himself off of the momentarily bewildered Yami.

“Uhhh?”

“Yes, I’m sure that is what Aibou would want. I know that they have spare blankets here in the hall closet.”

Joey nodded as he ambled over to the closet. Opening the door he rummaged through, passing out blankets and pillows, some from the closet, some from the couch.

Tristan took his blankets and remembered about the pack Joey had packed for Yugi.

“Yami?”

“Yes?” The white haired Yami blinked as he stood, holding a still snoozing Bakura.

“Me?” Yami Yugi blinked.

“Yes you! This is some of Yugi’s stuff, change of clothes, toothbrush, etc.”

“Thank you, Aibou will be appreciative.”

“Asleep already, is he?”

“Yes.” Yami stated.

“Alright!” Tea heaved, “Bed. All of us. Now. We have a long day ahead tomorrow.”

And after much tooth brushing, face washing and elbowing for sink space, all were calmly snuggling into blankets on the floor of the guest room.

Yami pulled a restless Yugi back to his chest for the third time. Normally, his Aibou would cling like a starfish to anything and sleep like a rock all night, but Yugi seemed ill content to stay in one place, rolling over, occasionally whimpering. It made Yami worry even more.

And it didn’t help that he missed grandpa too… He ended up pulling Yugi to his shoulder, and crying into his soft hair.

“Mhhh.. Yami?” Yugi asked sleepily as he woke to warmth splashing across his cheek.

“Yami…oh Yami.” Yugi’s still somewhat smaller hands tangled in Yami’s sleep shirt, pulling the reluctant Pharaoh from his position of curled around Yugi until their gazes could meet. Ruby eyes were glittering with unshed and shed tears alike.

/I miss him too Yami./

//Yugi, its alright, don’t worry about me, go back to sleep…//

/Yami. I love you, how could I sleep when you are sad?/

//What?!//

/oops./

/I need a drink of water./

Yugi leapt to his feet, silently bolting out of the room, tripping on Joey (Joey to his credit, did not stir, even after being unintentionally kicked in the gut by Yugi.) and stepping over Tea, made it from the bedroom, down the stairs, and to Bakura’s kitchen, before the embarrassed blush had a chance to full spread from the top of his nose to the back of his neck. He hadn’t expected Yami to follow his high-speed retreat, but a moment later, the pat of bare feet on kitchen tile announced Yami had not only arrived, but arrived at a trot.

“Aibou…what did you mean when you said that.”

Yami pinned his surprised Aibou to the kitchen wall, using his arms to cage Yugi in.

“Mean what?” Yugi feigned innocence and looked away, but his blush was telltale.

“Yugi, You are in love with me aren’t you?”

Yugi opened his mouth to deny it, and all that came out was a sigh.

“I didn’t know you were gay! I share a body with you for Ra’s sake!”

“I…” Yugi burst into tears. “I’m so sorry Yami, I tried not to…I tried, I even asked that new foreign exchange student out…but he turned me down. He said he knew from the look in my eyes that I was in love with someone else. Oh Yami! Im SO SO sorry. Now is not the time to have told you that, not at all and…”

Yami sighed exhaustedly.

“Yugi, you are SO confusing. You love me but your sorry you love me?”

“NO! That’s not it!”

“Then what IS it?” Yami prodded.

“I love you.”

Yami looked into those violet eyes, brimming with honesty and fear, and then he understood.

“You thought I would abandon you if I knew, didn’t you?”

Yugi nodded, sliding down the wall out of the cage of Yami’s arms, until he hit the floor with a thump.

“Your going to now, aren’t you?”

“Sweet Ra Yugi, No!”

“Then what ARE you going to do?”

Yami knelt until he was at an equal height with his Aibou, his fingers tangling in the thick hair, pulled back in its nightly ponytail. The sleep blurred and confused violet eyes. The uncertainty and fear that radiated through the bond drove the point home hard. Yugi was terrified. Yami would have none of that. Leaning down until their faces were inches apart, until Yugi unconsciously tilted his head back towards the wall, until Yugi’s closed eyes and trembling lips were turned upwards in a gesture of absolute submission. Yami whispered centimeters away from Yugi’s silky lips, his breath a soft puff against closed eyelids.

“Do you think I will be offended if you touch me now… do you truly think I hated to hear you say that you love me? …Yugi?” The last word was like hot butter sliding off a knife. Seductive as silk; Yami purred his Aibou’s name.

“Ya…mi…” Yugi whispered. He needed something that would relieve the ever-growing tension just under his ribs that tingled with something like copper bright arousal and perhaps, something that would make the shaking in his hands stop. His stomach was clutched into a tight knot, still waiting for the rejection, the hate. It never came. Only Yami’s rose petal soft lips on his. His darker half’s mouth was sweet and supple, and Yugi unintentionally let his arms slide up the back of strong arms, a whimper starting that parted his lips. Yami took advantage and let his tongue glide inside the silky cavern and felt Yugi startle at the heat, he wanted to taste everything Yugi had to offer, plundering until he taught Yugi’s inexperienced tongue to dance with his own.

/Yami, god, Yami, please, I need, I need I…/

//Shhh. Yugi, All in due time. Now is not the time for that. Later!//

/You?!/

//I love you too Yugi, I always have. We are both too tired for any other, pursuits…tonight. Just let me taste you, I want to taste you. Taste the truth and light in you.//

Yugi pressed his palms to the flat of Yami’s back, feeling the muscles tremble, reminiscent of the way he was trembling now.

/Why are you trembling Yami?/

//Because I want you. I’ve wanted you for so long. *sigh*//

Yami pulled away, suctioning the last bit of wetness from his kiss off of Yugi’s slightly swollen lips.

“Yami.” Yugi whispered as he slumped against the wall.

“Aibou, we should return to bed, you and I will need our strength for tomorrow.”

“Yami, that was…I’ve never been kissed before, it was a nice kiss.” Yami laughed at the dazed expression on Yugi’s face

“Bed Aibou, now that that is settled.” Yami smirked quietly. His heart felt ten times lighter, just knowing that Yugi loved him.

Nudging the bond, he felt the same emotions washing back from Yugi.

When the two nestled back on the floor again. They found that lying next to each other had become quite a temptation, as neither of their sleep shorts seemed to fit quite right anymore, as Yugi noted; to Yami’s amusement.

/How can so much change in so little time Yami?/

//I do not know, but if you didn’t keep me so, well, in the dark, things could go allot smoother.//

/*laughter* Goodnight Yami./

//Good night, precious one.//
~*~

The next few days before the funeral were filled with fitful tears, phone calls, and explanations that were almost too painful to bear. Yugi had managed to notify everyone that he was aware of that his grandfather had known, and they were all due to arrive the day before the funeral. Yugi had managed a few days of school here and there, and the others had decided that Yugi should try to move back in tonight. The blonde duelist agreed. He needed to deal with going back home, before he had to deal with the funeral. It wasn’t that Bakura minded the company, or any of the highschooler’s parents minded or questioned their children’s absences; it was just that Yugi would need to have the peace of mind, and someone had to look after the store.

Yugi was picking absently at his lunch; Tea had cajoled him into a salad. It was good, but he just wasn’t very hungry. Yami was sitting across from him, watching him take every bite. Tea was watching him from across the room. He felt like a bug on a pin again. He found that if he ignored the stares, he could actually eat, and since his stomach didn’t feel like it was going to completely reject its contents, he managed to finish it all. There was a collective ‘something’ of relief between Tea and Yami when he did. Yugi sighed.

“I suppose we should get going Yami, I need to get back and clean up the house a little, and stuff.”

Yami had no idea what ‘and stuff’ entailed, but he could guess. When you needed to pack someone’s stuff up and say goodbye, it was never easy.

Bakura met Yugi at the door.

“I’m not throwing you out Yugi, if you ever need to come back, or just need to not be wherever you are, knock on the door here. No one is ever here but Yami and I, so, if you drop by more often, it might be nice.”

Yugi smiled.

“Thank you Bakura… for everything.”

“Yeah, don’t mention it…go say goodbye to everyone before you go, ok?”

“Yah.” Yugi laughed. “I promise I will!”
~*~
Yugi put his key to the lock. And suddenly felt very out of breath.

He felt Yami steady him through the bond, soothing and comforting. The sooner they were inside, the sooner Yami could physically be with him. He needed the reassurance of his darker half’s touch. The door opened inward with a creek and a ‘ding’ that was sadly cold, as if the life and light in the very foundations of the shop had passed with Yugi’s grandfather.

Yugi stood in the dark, the familiar shadows and angles of the store surrounding him. He turned and locked the door behind him. Yami was there in an instant, hands pulling him back to his lean chest, then let them wander down to Yugi’s slim waist, cradling the points of his hips and letting their bodies press.

“I’m not sure I can do this Yami…I don’t thank I’m strong enough.”

“Aibou.”

“Yami…I…” Yugi’s knees nearly buckled, forcing Yami to support his weight for a moment; Yami decided on lowering them both to the floor, resting Yugi on the tops of his thighs to avoid him fainting.

“Aibou, you have gone through bad things before, I know that you will be strong enough, have faith in yourself.”

Yugi tilted his head back until his face was upturned to Yami, resting the back of his head on the broader shoulder.

“I can. I know I can, it’s just right now…”

“I know it is hard Aibou…” Yami whispered in the delicate shell of Yugi’s ear.

“But I love you…and I believe in you.” The kiss that he pressed to his Aibou’s cheek was soft and chaste, but it still drew a sigh from Yugi.

“I CAN do this Yami. Your right. But can you help me up first?”

Yami laughed aloud.
~*~

Yugi cleaned the house, top to bottom with a lot of help from Yami. The young duelist then neatly packed his grandfathers things into boxes, labeled them, and then put them in the hall closet. He chose to keep a few little things out, like the picture of a very little Yugi and a much younger grandfather holding hands and smiling. It was a nice picture. He also kept his grandfathers cards. He wrapped them in silk, and then placed them in a cloth bag. He set both on his dresser, to remind him. He wasn’t trying to forget; but he needed to deal with packing his grandfathers things up while he still had the strength to. Living in the denial that keeping his grandfather’s belongings would cause, would not be healthy, and he knew that.

Yugi paused after he finished fishing dirty clothes out from under his bed and tossing them into the basket. It struck him that, aside from Yami rattling around in the kitchen, and doing dishes, there was no sound. He could hear the clock ticking in the living room, and that was closer to the kitchen, and Yami. He felt a great need to move and be there. So he did.

After starting the laundry, Yugi moved to sitting on the couch. He watched Yami doing the dishes. It was funnier than it sounded. Still, after at least four years with the Mutou’s, the great pharaoh of the upper and lower Nile valleys was still uncertain about doing housework. But he tried. He really did. And then the phone rang. Yugi nearly did a back flip off of the couch; the volume of the ring in the silence of the house was like a small explosion, or a gunshot. Yami dried his hands and bypassed the quivering Yugi and answered the phone.

“Hello.” Deep, smooth, crystal clear. “Yugi? He’s having a mild anxiety issue right now, can I have him call you back directly? Yes, good, sorry Bakura. Goodbye.”

Not only was Yugi attempting to restart his heart and relearn how to breathe, but he was also in shock that Yami, for the first time in four years, had answered the phone. Yami ambled back over to the couch, standing over Yugi and looking very cutely concerned.

“Aibou…are you alright?”

“Just scared me, that’s all, dunno why…what did Bakura want?”

“He called to see how you were. Do you want to call him back now?”

“In a sec.”

Yugi pulled Yami down next to him, capturing dishwater soft hands in his. Yami blinked in surprise, then leaned forward.

“Aibou?”

“Aibou, I love you, you are the other half of me…I know it has not been easy. If there is anything more that I can do…do not hesitate to ask and…Aibou what are you doing…?”

Yugi leaned forward, releasing captured hands over his hips and slid into his Yami’s lap, nuzzling up under the slim jaw and resting his hands on top of wide shoulders. There was much to be said for the comfort that touch brought, easing both exhausted souls. Yami tilted his head back quietly, accepting the comfort and affection.

Yugi placed tentative kisses on the suddenly exposed bare skin of his darker half’s neck. Yugi loved the way Yami smelled, and he sighed as he let his lips skim over the pulse point in Yami’s neck, nuzzling until his face was nearly buried under the collar of the dark spirit’s shirt, his tongue tasting the supple skin along his collarbone. Yami moaned and clasped Yugi’s hips encouragingly.

And then the phone rang.

They both shared a moment of disgusted glares.

“This better be good.” Yugi spat.

“That better be good.” Yami growled.

They both laughed then, and Yugi shimmied out of Yami’s lap and bounded to get the phone by its last ring.

“Hullo?”

“Uh…yah, I’m fine, why?”

“ Yami said you were freaking out, I didn’t want to worry, but I did, so I had to call and see if you were ok…are you sure your fine?”

“Yes, yes, all is well, I assure you. Any other day I’d love to talk, but I really can’t right now, cause I’m going to fall asleep!”

“Yugi, are you brushing me off?”

Yugi laughed a little.

“Well…maybe…but you caught me. So what do you want to talk about?”

“The funeral is tomorrow, and Tea wanted to know what kind of stuff to get started on cooking for after the memorial service.”

“Oh well…I’m really not the most knowledgeable, in that kind of stuff, and she really has turned into a truly fine cook, I’ll go with whatever she thinks?”

“Ok Yugi, so what happened?”

“Oh…that…well, I really was just to out of breath with fright to get the phone, so Yami got it.”

“Oh?”

“Oh.” Bakura stated.

“I swear it wasn’t anything terrible, I just think Yami wanted to answer a phone, it’s a new experience for him, anyway.”

Yami and Yugi shared a mutual raspberry over the top of the phone while Yugi covered the receiver with his palm.

“Yugi?”

“Yes?”

“No, not at all, I’m just a little out of it, you know?”

“Oh, ok.”

(Yami threw a melodramatic arm above the couch, imitating a swimmer going down for the third time, then slumped beyond visibility)

“So how is everyone?”

“Good good, hey Yugi? I’ve got to go, got to explain to Tea that there is no real trauma occurring and that she can call off the hounds, ok?”

Yugi laughed.

“Yeah, tell Tristan and Joey that they don’t need to come over here and bust up the place, ok?”

Bakura giggled. “Yah, ok, well, I was just checking on you, talk to you soon?”

“Yah, ok, well, bye Bakura.”

“Goodnight Yugi.”
~*~
“Yami?” Yugi asked as he hung up and then peered over the back of the couch.

“Are you ok?”

Yami pulled himself up off the floor and smiled at Yugi.

“We need to force feed you and then get to bed, because tomorrow will come earlier than we want it to.”

“Yami, its only ten at night.”

“And you are weary, I can feel it, and you know you cannot lie to me”

“Alright.” Yugi sighed. “Foiled again.”

“What’s for dinner anyways?”

“How does ordering a pizza sound?”

Yugi laughed.

“Sounds great.”
~*~
“Yugi, love, come on.” Yami whispered as he shook a mewling Yugi and smashed the snooze bar for the third time.

“You will be late.”

“I don’t want to go.” Yugi whispered as he curled up tighter around Yami.

“I know Aibou.”

“Please don’t make me go, I can’t look them in the eyes and tell them he’s gone. I can’t stand it as it is!”

“Yugi, you owe it to grandfather, to comfort his friends…and I will be with you. I will not leave you.”

“I’m sorry Yami, I’m being selfish…I’m getting up now.”

“Have you noticed you’re not moving Aibou.”?

“Uhh, your right, as usual.” Yugi sighed as he snuggled once more into the comfort of Yami and the dark warmth of blankets.

“Just a minute longer Yami, I’m tucking this memory away, that way I can get through today.”

“Alright Aibou.” Yami placed a kiss on top of his lighter half’s sleep rumpled hair.
~*~
Yugi tossed the red rose on top of the casket, fighting tears that he couldn’t necessarily cry himself. It was Yami who cried. And his pain echoed in Yugi so badly that it was almost impossible to bend to pick up his hand full of earth. Yugi let the breeze carry the soil through his fingers and watched as it drifted across the casket with a soft hiss. And he prayed. He prayed for strength, he prayed for solace, and above all, he prayed that he would make it through this day without screaming outright.

/Yami…I love you…/

//Aibou!// Yami’s mind voice was broken with pain.

/Yami, I’m here. I’m here. I’m sorry...//

/I’m alright Aibou./

Yugi straightened, and then turned to quietly hand a rose to Joey, who was next in line.

“You alright?” Joey muttered below normal hearing range.

“No, Joey, I’m not.” Yugi whispered back. “But maybe someday I will be?”

Joey simply nodded.

“These things take time.”

He was doing just fine until Bakura ambled over, gently grasping Yugi’s upper arm sympathetically. And something broke inside. He felt the burning behind his eyes start. Luckily for him Bakura was strong enough to hold him, and fast enough to catch him as his knees buckled. He really didn’t even have a chance to cry before the darkness took him.

“I made a scene, didn’t I?” Yugi whispered.

“Nah.” A strong Bronx accent caught Yugi’s attention as Joey breezed into the kitchen.

“But you do look funny all passed out on the church baking table.”

“Joey!” Tea barked. “Be nice.”

Yugi managed a weak smile. “I’ll bet. Someone want to help me up? And if someone could tell me how I ended up in the church kitchen?”

“It was the closest door.” Bakura groaned.

Tea glared at him.

“What? Like I was going to lay him down in the middle of the meeting hall and fan him? He’d never forgive me, If your going to faint, you deserve some privacy, you know?”

“Good point, I guess I didn’t think of that?” Joey said.

“You aren’t eating enough Yugi, you are very weak, and that cannot help right now.” Bakura proceeded to ignore Joey and chide Yugi.

Yugi was just blinkingly trying to follow the direction of the various scoldings. He blinked again, looking very unfocused.

The door swung open and Tristan bulled his way in.

“Well, the party’s over. Everyone is out, gone and away.” He sighed as sat down in one of the chairs Joey pushed his way.

“Are all the dishes done and all that?” Bakura asked.

“Yeah.” Tea said. “Were good to go.”

“I’ll walk Yugi home.” Joey said.

“I’ll go too.” Tristan piped up.

“I’ll walk Tea home.” Bakura stated.

There were a few moments of goodbye’s, hugs, relief, sadness, and pure exhaustion among the whole lot. And it went without saying that everyone wanted to go home and have a good cry. The whole process had been exhausting.

~*~

Yugi said goodbye to Tristan and Joey, giving each a hug and thanking them and waving them on their way with reassurances that he would be fine. He locked the shop door when they were out of sight.

/Yami? Are you alright?/ Yugi pleaded.

There was just a feeling of heavy emptiness through the bond, and a half muttered, half choked mental response.

/Yami, please come join me?/

He felt reluctance through the bond then, clearly.

/Yami, it’s ok, please come be with me?/