69 love songs a musical review in two acts

I should have forgotten you long ago

but you're in every song I know

Wining and pining is wrong and so

on and so forth, of course, of course,

but no you can't have a divorce

but it's not as bleak as it seems

We still dance on whirling stages

in my Busby Berkeley dreams

The tears have stained all the pages

of my True Romance magazines

We still dance in my outrageously beautiful

Busby Berkeley dreams

I refuse to believe you could

You forget we're not made of wood

Well, darling you may do your worst

because you'll have to kill me first...
(C)
Do you think it's dangerous to have Busy Berkeley

dreams?
[lights fade up slowly.]

I finished the book.

Oh. Um…
BILLIE[presents book to him]

“Il libro di amore”
MIKE [takes book, attempts Italian.]

“Il libro di amore”

an ancient civilization in a way,

the old world.
MIKE

Greece and Rome?

Right.

the things that are deep in human nature and eternal

close to the dreamtime of civilization

Right.
MIKE

The time of mythology.
BILLIE

Right.

Deeper than Freud.

Oh, I think it was written by a woman.

MIKE slowly opens book to read. A gunshot is heard behind audience.

JEAN runs in from the wings.

MIKE’S cell phone immediately rings and rings for a long time before he answers.]

Uh huh.

Ok. [MC slowly leaves unseen. MIKE hangs up phone, speaks to audience.]

what I'm doing here.

As it started out

what I thought was

it was a perfectly straightforward life plan

as clear as the plot of a novel

I was setting out in life

to find a woman I could love

and who loved me

and then one thing led to another

I found a book

the next thing I knew I was at a cabaret in a city

where there were many people

there was a party, or a show,

I couldn't find the woman I had come with

you know
[he shrugs]

But as I think about it

I think

is this not how life is?

it turns out you have been doing something else entirely

you only think it does

while all the time something without a plot is happening to you

over and over until you reach the end of your life

and you think you've had a beginning and a middle and an end

but all you've had is a start and a stop

and a lot of disorientation in between

trying to get a grip

hoping for true love

maybe you have a chance and you lose it

you don't know where it went

you're not sure if you had it

or who it was with

maybe the time you least thought it was meaningful at all

that was your one chance

you walked right past it

while you were pursuing another woman

and then you kick the bucket....

Usually, in life,

we're so busy doing things,

we don't stop to look at each other any more.

That's so true.

But you won't be here forever.

No.

You won't even be the same person tomorrow.

Things go by so fast,

and then they're gone.

friends grow up

and get married

and you never took the time to look at them.
2ND VOICE

Like that couple in New York.

Who's that?

You heard that:

this man found this book

claimed it fell from the sky

a sign from God,

“Il libro di amore”

He asked a woman to translate it

And fell madly in love with her.

Oh. Oh. Right.

They worked on the book

Their whole lives together.

That's it.

Then when she finished

She was going to leave him.

He shot her

and then he shot himself.

Right.
2ND VOICE

He died. But she lived.
TALK SHOW VOICE

I understood he lived, too.

He lived? I didn't know that.

Yeah, he lived.

I guess, you know, he sort of lobotomized himself

but he was still able to read from the book.

and I guess he does okay.

They say he sits around all day

Dreams of the stories and songs in the book.
2ND VOICE

I didn't know that.

But I did know that she

even though he shot her a couple of times--

once in the head--

she lived;

and she recovered,

well not completely, I guess--

she had a little trouble with her memory,

but otherwise she was okay.

And she moved back in with him

Right.

And they lived there together

Dreaming of love.

I guess you could say

they lived happily ever after.
[MC enters carrying cordless microphone dressed as he was in the beginning of play.]
TALK SHOW VOICE

Right. Well.

That's a love story.
2ND VOICE

Yeah. That really is.

Okay! Well,

here's some more music a familiar old song.

This is Stephen Merritt singing

"NOTHING MATTERS WHEN WE’RE DANCING."
2ND VOICE

I like this song.

I've got to say,

I love this song.
[The band picks up the song and drowns out the radio KERI goes to JEAN and romantically asks him to dance. Lights fade to a disco ball reflecting light throughout the space.]
VIVA with MC backing up [sings NOTHING MATTERS WHEN WE’RE DANCING]

Dance with me my old friend

once before we go

Let's pretend this song won't end

and we never have to go home

and we'll dance among the chandeliers

And nothing matters when we're dancing

In tat or tatters you're entrancing

Be we in Paris or in Lansing

nothing matters when we're dancing

your eyes like two full moons

than here in this poor old dancehall

among the dreadful tunes

the awful songs we don't even hear...

And nothing matters when we're dancing

In tat or tatters you're entrancing

Be we in Paris or in Lansing